第1章

2000年。

中秋节,陈家村。

huanglaotaimianrongkugaoditangzaichuangshang,tashengburusidikanzhechuangwai。

fangzihenpojiu,wudingzhangmanzhizhuwang,haiyougezhongzhizhuzaishangmianpazhe。

yigugunanwendeshiniaoweiconghuanglaotaideshenxiachuanchulai。

“zenmezheilizhangmanzacao?”

yidaoxianqidenvrenshengyinxiangqi。

“zaojiumeirenlihuitale,womenzheiyicilaikantayeshizuihouyicile。”

lingwaiyigeshaoweixiancanglaodeshengyinyingdao。

“shuodeyeshi,zheigeguidifangsheiyuanyilai?”

tuikaileyaoyaoyuzhuidemubanmen。

zoujinlaiyigekanqilaisishizuoyoudenvren。

dagaibaoyangdehao,kanqilaihennianqing,haoxiangershilaisuidenvhaiyiyang。

shenbiangenzheyigeqishisuishangxiadeguifu。

“haojiubujianya,huanglaotai。”

“ma,womenlaikannile。”

huanglaotaizhandouzheshouzhizhetamen,dakouchuanzheqi:

“gun,nimen,jiwogunchuqu。”

“aiyo,huanglaotai,nihaishizheimedadepiqiya。wokeshinideqinjiani。”

“meicuo,ma,womenkeshihenmangde,nandeguolaitanwangni。”

tingdaotamenxingzailehuodexiaosheng。

huanglaotaigengjiashengqile,tayongjinliqidama:

“mojiaojiao,nizheigebaiyanlang,chilibawaidejiannvren。”

“yaobushinitijiajinwomenjiamen,woyebuzhiyuhuizheiyang。”

mojiaojiaolianshangyiranhaishimiandaiweixiao:

“hehe,meishi,nijixuma。”

mojiaojiaodemuqinzhaohongmeiyeshiyilianxingfendeyangzi:

“laodongxi,fanzhengniyelisibuyuanle。”

“womenjiugaosuniyigemimi,yigetiandademimie。”

kanzhetamenyinxiao、edudexiaorong。

huanglaotaiyeyouyuganzijidedaxianjiangzhi,zaizheiyike,tawubidejuewang,buguogengduodeshijietuo。

终于要解脱了。

guoranzaitahunhunchenchendedeshihou,mojiaojiaodeshengyinchuanleguolai:

“laobuside,wojiurangnidanggemingbaiguiba。”

“qishiwomenshichuanyueguolaide。”

“zaixiandaidewomenbenshenjiushimunv,chuanyueguolaihouyedaizhexishourendeenianheqiyundexitong。”

“wozhisuoyijiajinimenjiachenjianan,yeshiyinweixitongtiaozhonglenimenjia,zheiyangdehua,wojiukeyixishounimenjiasuoyoudeenianheqiyun。”

“zheiyangwomenjiunengyougengjiaduodewuzi。”

“yaoburanwomenyebukenengguodeneimehao。”

“ermeiyouleqiyundenimenjiuhuibianchengguroufenli,gurouxiangcan,jiamenbuxingle,zuihougengshihuijiaporenwang。”

“duile,ganggangwoxiqulenizuihouyimodeenian,womendegongsiyehuiyinweinideenianeryougengjiaduodezichan,shide,zainidebangzhuxia,womendegongsizhunbeishangshile。”

zhaohongmeiehenhentileliangjiaohuanglaotai,duizhezijidenvershuodao:

“nigenzheigelaobusideshuoneimeduogansha?”

“ma,wozheibushibiezhehuangma?xianzaikandaozheigelaobusidezhongyuyaosile,worenbuzhuxiangyaofaxiefaxiea,zheibu,shuochulaiguoranxinqingshufule。”

huanglaotaitingdaozheixiehua,tadunshiliansezhanghong,yanzhongmanshibuganzhixinzhise,yanjingnudengzhetamenliangren,zuihouqijigongxin,zhijiesibumingmu!

......

“huhuhu......”

sibumingmudehuanglaotaituranzhengkaiyan,dakouchuanqi,tahaiyiweizijiyijingsile,laidaoleyincaodifu。

quemeixiangdaozijijurankandaolezijinianqingshihouzhudefangzi。

dangtademuguangkanxiangqiangshangguazhederilishi,tadeyanjinggengshidengdedadade。

1970年?

“我这是重生了?”

huanglaotainaohaizhongturanbengfachuzheimeyigehuangtangdeniantou。

恰在这时。

wuwaimianchuanlailechaonaosheng。

“madouzheiyangle,nandaowomenzhendebubatasongquyiyuan?”

zheishidaerzichenfacaideshengyin。

“送啥送?”

“xianzaizhengzainaozhejihuang,womennalihaiyouqian?dage,niyouqianma?”

ererzichenjianxinyilianbuzaihudeyangzi。

“keshipopodoushaolehaojitianle,zicongdiaoxiashuibeijiuhuilaihoujiumeituishaoguo,ruguobusongqudehua,neimemazhendeweixianlea。”

ererxizhangxiaoyanyiliandedanxinshuodao。

“aiyo,woshuodixifu,nizheishigansha?”

“xianzainagenongminyouqiansongrenquyiyuande?”

“buyaodengdaosongquyiyuan,renmeile,haiyouyishenzhai,niyaosongnizijisong,danshiruguodaoshihouqianqiandehua,neinizijihai,biexiangzhezhaowomenyiqifentan。”

daerxifengzhaodiyeshiyilianxianqi,rangtachuqian,neishijueduibukenengde。

“yaobudadianhuajixiaodi?”

chenfacaixianglexiang,chusheng。

“suanle,tadouzheibanianjile,meibiyaolangfeizheigeqian。”

fengzhaodihuihuishou,yifuzheisilaotaiposilezhenghao,zheiyangjiumeiyourenguanzhetamenle,erqietahaidazhezhuyi:

“laosanyouzheibiqian,haiburujiwomenjianfangzini,bijingzanmenxianzaizheifangziyagenjiubugouzhude。”

“放你们的狗屁!”

zaifangjianlimianzhongyujieshouzijihuoguolaidehuanglaotai,dangtatingdaowuwaidetanhuahou,tazhongyuzuobuzhule,zhijienazhesaozhouduizhewaimianderenkaishibaodaqilai。

“nimenzheixieheixinganderen,buxiaozi,yuanlaizaojiupanzhewosile?”

“meiliangxindebaiyanlang,langxingoufeide**!”

“kanwojintianbudasinimen!”

huanglaotaineigeqia,youqishiyixiangdaoqianshizijisuoshoudequru、weiqu,tadadegengyonglile,fengkuangfaxiezhexinzhongdefennu。

“aiyo,tengtengteng!!!”

“我们知道错了。”

“niang,womenbushizheiyangxiangde。”

“婆婆,我错了。”

chenfacai、chenjianxindengren,tamenfenfendashengqiurao。

tamenzenmedoumeixiangdaoyuanbenkuaisidehuanglaotaijuranhaole,erqiehaitingdaoletamenzaiwaimiandetanhua,zheirangtamenfenfenqiurao。

bijing,zheihuanglaotaidadeshizhendetonga。

yinweichenjiarenturanzaidahandajiao,yeyinlailebushaozhouweidelinjuzaikanrenao。

tamendouzaizhizhidiandiande。

zhiyuchenfacaitamenjigebeidaderenyebuganhaishou。

bijingzheikeshizijideqinmahuozhepopo。

yaoshitamenganhaishou,zhibudingjiubeizhuaqilaipidoule。

zhongyudengdaolehuanglaotaidaleile,caichuaizheqizhizhetamen,nuhedao:

“还在这里干啥?”

“ganjinqunidiedefentoushangguizhe。”

“meidaotianheibuzhunhuilai。”

“娘、、、、、、”

“婆婆、、、、”

chenjianxintamendangranshibuyuanyide,bijingsheimeishiquguifentoua。

zhengshiruci,tamendoushiyilianbuganxiangxindikanzhehuanglaotai,yanzhonghuaiyihuanglaotaishibushibeiguifushenle。

bijingtakeshiconglaibuganduiernvzheiyangde。

erqieqianfangbaijititamenzhexiang。

“jiaoshajiao,jiaohuna。”

“ganjingunqu,yaoburan,wozhijiesongnimenxiaqujianta!”

huanglaotaizhijieyangleyangshouzhongdesaoba,poyoutamenbuqudehua,zhijiejiangtamenluangundasideganjiao。

kandaozheiyimu,chenjianxintamennalihaiganchiyi,ganjinpaosidelikai。

huanglaotaijianzhuang,gengshizhijiebatamendachujiamenhouzaibatamenganshangshanduizhezijidesiguilaogongguizheketou。

bingzhizhetamenjixumazhe:

“nimenzheixiebuxiaozi,haohaozainimendediegenqianchanhui。”

“xiangxiangdangchunimenzainidiemianqianshiruhebaozhenghaozhaoguhaowo。”

“shashihouxiangmingbaijiushashihouqilai。”

“娘、、、、”

“婆婆、、、”

“zaijiaowojiujixudanimen!”

kanzhehuanglaotaijuqidesaoba,tamendouzhidaozijidemuqin(popo)shirenzhendele。

zuizhong,tamenzhinengdaizaizheili,buganlikai。

zhiyuhuanglaotaizeshibuguantamen,zhijiehuidaojiazhongpadeyishengguanshangmen,zuduanlelinjuhaoqidemuguangzhihoucaisongleyikouqi。

cishitacaifajuezijideduziguguzhijiao,pashizijishengbingzheijitiandoumeiyouchiguoshenmedongxi,rangtayizhenzhenedefahuang。

yushitadiyishijianlaidaochufang,zhijieshaochaizhufan。

dengmifanchabuduozhenghao,tazaijiaruqiehaodelachang,jigenqingcaihedaleyigejidan。

dengzhenghaolefancai,tazhijieshengchulai,langtunhuyantianbaoleduzi。

dengqixueshanglaile,ganzhiyegengjiadeqingxi,zheigeshihoudehuanglaotaicaizhenzhenqieqiedifanyingguolai。

自己是真的重生了。

erqiexianzaidezijicaisishichutou,erzhangfuyijinglikailewunianle。

yaoxiangshangbeizizijidebeicanshenghuo,meitianjizijideerzitamendangniuzuoma,xinkucaolaoyisheng。

quezhinengluodecansidexiachang。

kanlaizheiyibeizizhonglai,zijijueduibunengzaixiangshangbeizineiyangzile。

neiyigegedezuojing,yaonie,bixudebeiganchujiamen。

buguoxianzaitaxuyaozuodetouyijianshiqing。

neijiushifangzhimojiaojiaozheigeedunvrenjiajizijidelaosan。

zhiyuneilianggechunerzi,nengjiudehuilaijiujiuhuilai。

shizaishijiubuhuilai,jiufenjia,duanjueguanxi。

让他们自己折腾。

“叮、、、、”

“gongxizhurenhuode【chulijiashixitong】。”

“woshixiaoba,shinidesirenguanjia。”

turan,huanglaotaidenaohaizhongturanxiangqiyigeshengyin。