第一章老子得回去
“dage，qilai！zenmezaizheishuizhele！！bahaizaishoushushini！”shengdituiletuizaishoushushiwaimiandezhangyizishanghuhudashuideshengtian！
shengtianhuanmandizhengkaileyanjing，kanlekanzhouweideyiqie。
wolegequ，zheishizenmehuishi？
盛天懵圈了。
zheishizenmehuishi，zhouweideyiqiekanqilaishiyigeyiyuan，banbobukandeqiangbi，cibidejiujinghexiaodushuideqiwei，diaoleyouqidezhangyi......yiqiedouxiandeneimeshuxieryoumosheng。
pangbianliangshanbolidamen，shangmianyonghongseyouqixiede“xianrenmianjin”sigedazi。
liangshanbolidamenshangfangyizhanbaisededianbangxiamianshihongseyouqixiede“shoushushi”sangezi。
我在哪？这是梦？
shengtianxiayishiderenweizijishishiqingtaiduole，leidexutuole。
bijingzijishifubusifuhaobangshangdeqianwumingderen。
zheigeshengtianshihexurenye，tafaxianzheigerendesiweihejiyishunjianjiuronghedaozijidetounaozhong。
“zheishina？”shengtianroulerouxingzhongdeyanjing，wendao。
“dage，nishizenmele？”shengdiyoutuiletuita，“bajinshoushushiyigexiaoshile，rangnizaizheikanzhe，nizenmejiushuizhele？”
“shengdi？”shengtiankanlekantazheigedidi，zhiqianshengtiandesiweihejiyirangtazhidao，zheigerenshitadedidi。
shengdizheijiahuobushizaishibasuineinianyandadeshihoujiusilema？zenmehuizaizheili？zheishizenmehuishi？
laobadongshoushule？tadejiyizhonglaobashiyimingbolichangzhigong，tashiyimingtuiyijunren，dongshoushushizaibaliunian，dangshilaobashizaibolichangshichuleshengchanshigu，tuibudedongmaibeibolijihuale，houlaijiuzhibujishi，suiranmianqiangzhaohuilaiyitiaoming，danshiluoxiagezhongshengcanji，zhinengkaoshuangguaixingzou。
shengtianyongshouhenhendiyongshouqialezijidedatuiyiba，“teng！！”shengtiandaoxileyikouliangqi。
难道这不是做梦？
“di，bazheishizenmele？”shengtianwendao，tahuanhuandezhanleqilai，tabuxiangxinzijishizhongshengle。
“bazaigongchanglishangban，bushichushileme？dagenizenmehutule，nihejiuleme？”shengdishuozhecouleguolai，mengxileyikou，“meiyouhejiua？zenmekaishishuohuhuale！”
shengdishuowanlezhihou，bashoudazaishengtiandenaomenshangmian：“meifashaoa！”
shengtianzhidaozijidelaobashengfamingchushizhihou，yiyuanlimianjixudaliangdeyiyaofei，danshilaobashiyigetuiwudejunrenchushen，erqietuiwuzhiqianshiyimingtewuzhenchaliandefulianzhang。
neigeshihou，zanmenhuaxiaguohaimeiyoutezhongbingzheiyibingzhong，zheitewuzhenchaliangenhoulaidetezhongbingchabuduo。
fuqingangzhengbua，daosushengsushibolichanggongzuo，benlaikeyizhuanyezhihouzuoyigexiaolingdao，danshizaizhuanyeguochengzhong，jialimianmeiyouqian，meiyoujilingdaosongli，zhishizaishengchanchejianzuoyigexiaoxiaodechejianzhuren。
fuqinshengfamingzaigongzuoqijiandezuilelingdao，zheicishengchanshigubenlaikeyixingmian，keshibeichangzhangjirangrenxialeheishou，benlaishixiangzhitayusidi，naihelaotianyouyan，fuqindeyitiaomingjianlehuilai。
keshizheijianshiquedashanglezijidididexingming，congcifuqinyijuebuzhen，yiyezhijianjiumantoubaifa，zaiyeduisushibolichanggoubuchengrenheweixianle。
fuqinyijuebuzhenzhihou，muqinyeyinweisangzizhitong，jiashangduoniandejilaochengji，bujiusashourenhuan，fuqinbannianyihou，zheijiugenzhejiahexiqule。
erbashiniandaidezheigeshengtiancongcizhihou，yizhiweimibuzhen，tabenjiushidoubuxuewushudexiaohunhun，congcizhihougengshizhengtianjiejiuxiaochou，jiuhedebiyiqiangengduole。
meiliangnian，bashiniandaidezheigeshengtianliangnianzhihouyejiuyinweilanluqiangjie，ganshangyanda，beizhuazhuzhijiejibile。
yitiaoyitiaodejiyiyongshangxintou，rangshengtianxinlimianzhenzhenxinji。
nainaide，zijihaiyouliangnianjiuyaoquchitiehuashengmile，zheideganjinhuiqu！
zijikebuxiangjiuzheimesizaizheimegedifang。sizaizheimegeniandai。
zijiqingyuansizai《playboy》**dewenrouxiangli。meitiandouwanbuyiyangdeguniangtabuxiangma。zijikeshishanglefubusifuhaobangdeqianwumingderen。zijidecaifugouzijihuihuowuduyishengde。
“huiqu，bixudehuiqu！”shengtiankebuxiangzijizaizheitongmingtongxingderenshenshanglangfeiyidianshijian。
可是怎么回去呢？
shengtianjidekanguoyibuyoukaixinmahuazhuyandedianying《xialuotefannao》。
xialuojiushibatoumaijinshuilimian，jiuhuidaolezhongshengzhiqiandeniandai。
自己也得试一试。
wulunruhedelikaizheigedifang。
“weishengjianzaina。”shengtianwendao。
“shenmeweishengjian？”shengdijingyadikanlekanzheigegege，xindao：zheigegegejintianzenmeshenshentaotaode，buguozheishengtiankanqilaimeiyoushenmetebieyiyangdedifang。
“cesuo，maoce！！”shengtiandahanleyisheng，“lashidedifang！”genzheibashiniandaiderenshuoweishengjian，tamenkendingbumingbaishizenmehuishi。
“pangbianjiuyouyigenancesuo！”
shengtianxunsuchongdaolenancesuo，yikanlimianyouyigeliangmiduozhangdexishouchi，siwugeshuilongtouzhengqidipailiezaineili。
nainaide，zheiweiyetaishangtouleba。
nancesuolimianchuanlaiyizhensaochouwei，zheigeshihoujibenshangdoushihance，limiandedabiannenggouduideliangchihou。
“dezhaoyigepen！”shengtianziyanziyudeshuodao，tadeyanjingxunsusichusaomiao，zhongyuzaiyigeguaijiaodedifangkandaohuacipen。
“nainaide，zhenyoushidaitedian！”zheicipenzaojiujuejile，zheiyetaigudongle。
shengtianxunsubacipenjiemanleyipenshui，banaodaiwanquanjinzaileshuili。
“laotianyerangwohuiquba，biegenwokaiwanxiaole！”shengtianzaixinlimianmonianzhe。
bantianle，meiyoufanying。shengtianfanerbeibiedenanshou。
“jiayou，yaodejiushizheizhongganjue！jianchizhu，mashangjiunenghuiqule。baibailezheigeniandai。”
shengtianjuedezijiyishizhujianmohuleqilai，yanqianturanyizhenfahei！ranhouzhenggeshentijiudaozailedishang。
“kuangdang”yisheng，shengtiandeshentizhongzhongdeshuaidaozailexishouchibian。
“wohuilailema？”shengtianmanyouyoudezhuanxingle，ziyanziyudao。
“dage，nizheishizenmehuishi，shanggecesuozenmeyenengyundaole，ganjinhuiquxiuxiba，laobazheiyouwoni。”