第三章:我不开玩笑的

chujiazucizhizhongyaquewusheng,yigenzhenluodaodishangdeshengyinyeqingxikewen。

“hehe,jiazhuzhishishiguanzhongda,nikebunengnazheishiqingkaiwanxiao。”erzhanglaoqingxiaoyisheng,dapolechangzhongguiyideqifen。

“wanxiao?”chuyunlianshangdexiaorongyishou,“sheihenishuo,woshizaikaiwanxiao?”

yidaocanyingshanguo,erzhanglaojinghaidefaxiantashiquleduizijishentidezhangkongnengli。

zhongmukuikuizhixia,youzhecuitijiuzhongshilideerzhanglao,beichujiayoumingdefeiwu,chujiashaozhuchuyunezhuhoulong,danshoutileqilai。

“chuyun,nizaizhaosi!”chutianxunlianseshunjianbiandezhengningleqilai,shouzhongzheshandaizhehuxiaodefengshengdaxiangchuyundehouxin。

chutianxunshouzhongdeshanziyoushanghaodejingtiedazao,zhongdawushijin。dadaochuyundeshenshang,chuyunbisiwuyi。

taijiezhishangturanbaoqiyituanbaiguang,chutianxunshouzhongdetieshanshangweichujichuyundeshentijiubeibaiguangguozhu,huazuowushudetiexie。baiguangjiaosuiletieshanzhihouyushibujian,zhibenchutianxundehoulongerqu。

yigusiwangdeweixieyongshangxintou,chutianxunhuangluanzhongshengchuyisijizhi,shuangxiyingshengshengdeguilexialai,neibaiguangcazhetadetoupifeiguoqu。zhengqidefajibeidasan,zhengzhongjiandeyilvtoufabianchenglefeihui。

“jiangang!”zucidangzhongdechujiazidiqishengjinghu,jiulianyizhibizheyanjingjiameidedazhanglaoyerenbuzhuzhengkaileyanjing。

wuzhexiuxingfenweicuiti、gangqi、juyuan、ningshen、zhenling、jiexian。

cuitijingjiechuiliantipo,daodacuitishizhongzhihou,ningqichenggang,kuarugangqijingjie。jiangang,jiushigangqijingwuzhedebiaozhi。

“wodelaotianye,woshihaizaimengzhongma?sheinengqiawoyiba?”yimingchujiazidinannandao。

chujiaderensheibuzhidaochujiashaozhuchuyunzizhijicha,xiuxingduonianyijiuzhiyoucuitiyizhongdexiuwei。erqiebusijinqu,pingrilizhihuihuayixiehua,xieyixiegoupibutongdewaishi。

kexianzai,suirantaxianzaishenshangdeqixibuguocuitisanzhong,danlongzhaozaitashenshangdedandanbaiguang,shishidashidejiangang。

“jiangang!”erzhanglaoxinzhongjuzhen,jinghainanyiyongyuyanlaixingrong,“zheixiaochushengjingranxiuchenglejiangang!”

“xianzai,nihaijuedewozaikaiwanxiaoma?”chuyunwanweidekanzheerzhanglao,yanshenzhizhongmeiyousihaodeganqing。

erzhanglaoxinzhongyihan,chuyundemuguang,jiuxiangshizaikanyigesirenyiyang。

“chuyun,bukewuli,jiangerzhanglaofangxialai。”yigerouhedeshengyinchuanguolai。

shengyinbingbuda,daizheyigurangrenxinzhonganwendeweidao。

caozadezucilimiandunshianjinglexialai。

chuyunbaochizhezishiyidongbudong,zhuanguotoulai,zhenghaoduishangdazhanglaodeyanjing。

erzhanglaosongleyikouqi,dazhanglaonaishichujiadeqingtianzhu,kuarugangqijingyijingyoushushiniandeguangjing,jueduibushichuyunzheigexinjinjidemaotouxiaozikeyibinide。

kechuyunyikaikou,zucizhineizaicixianruleyipiansiji。

“laodongxi,biezaizheijiwozhuanghaoren,jintian,nitongyiyehao,butongyiyeba,zheichujiajiazhu,woyaodingle!”

dazhanglaoyanjingmichengyitiaofeng,lianseyouxieyinchen。

“haodadedanzi,zhendangzheizucishiniququyigegangqijingnenggoufangsidedifangma?”yishengbaohe,yimingheyilaozhezouchulai,zhizhechuyundebizihemadao。

zheirenchuyunrenshi,shichujiadeyiminggongfeng,yeshierzhanglaopaixizhizhongdezhongyaorenwu。

yishenqixuehunyuanninglian,heranshiyigecuitidianfengdegaoshou。

“guozao!”chuyundandandeshuodao,yidaobaimangpotierchu。

mubiao,zhengshineiheyilaozhe。

heyilaozhelianseyibian,shenxingchuiqisidezhangdaleyiquan,tineichuanlaizhenzhenhaixiaoyibandeshengyin。

fangzaiyaojiandequantoushangmianlongzhaozheyicengdandandehongguang。

kandaozheiyimuderenjieshitongkongyisuo,zheirenyijingmodaolegangqijingdemenjian,buchushuri,birankeyitupodaogangqijing。

heyilaozhelianshangshanguoyisidese,yaojiandequantoudichu。

“破!”

wushengwuxi,baiseguangmangxiaosanzaikongqidangzhong,heyilaozhebaochizhechuquandedongzuojiujiumeiyoufanying。

“muzhanglao!”chutianxunxinzhongshanguoyisibuan,qingshengxunwendao。

“ni,ni,ni!”muzhanglaodengdaleyanjing,shouzhizhigougouzhizhechuyun,tietasideshentihongdedaozailedishang。

“噗!”

muzhanglaopenchuleyikouxianxue,shenshangyapolishizudexueqifeisuxiajiang。

“shaozhu,shaozhu,wocuole,wocuole,raolewo!”muzhanglaoguizaidishangchaozhechuyunsimingdeketou。

keshizheisihaobunengzulantashenshangxueqideliushi,jigehuxidegongfu,muzhanglaoyishenqianghengdexueqiyidianbusheng,sigouyiyangdetangzaidishang。

chutianxunkanzhemuzhanglao,seshengshuodao:“nipoletadedantian!”

“tongbutongyinijigehua!”chuyunzhijiewushilechutianxun,yanjingzhidingzhedazhanglao。

dazhanglaolianshangyanmoushenchudeshayiyishanerguo,kechuyunshihedengrenwu,kandaozheiyimu,bujinlengxiaoyisheng,shouzhanghuanhuandishoujin。

erzhanglaozhijuedeyizhenjuliyonglai,shuangshouwulidechuizaishentiliangce,yizhanglaolianbiedetonghong,chudeqiduo,jindeqishao,yankanjiuyaosashourenhuanle。

“dazhanglao,xianjiuwoyeye!”chutianxunjile。

erzhanglaoshitamenzheiyizhidedingliangzhu,meiyouleerzhanglao,tamenzheiyizhishuailuoxiaquyijingchengledingju。

jiuzaierzhanglaoyiweizijiyaosiledeshihou,dazhanglaozhongyukaikoule:“chuyun,nikezhidao,chujiajiazhu,bujinjinyiweizhequanli,haiyiweizhezeren。weilechujiadejianglai,zheichujiajiazhudeweizhi,bunengjini!”

“henhao,”chuyunruoyousuosidediandiantou,qiazheerzhanglaobozideshouzhanghuanhuandishoujin。

erzhanglaodehoulongzhijianderuangufachukacakacadecuixiang。

“fangkaiwoyeye,buranwojiushaleta!”chutianxunshouzhangluozaichuhongyudebozishangmian,quanshenbutingdezhandou,ehenhendedengzhechuyun。

“tianxun,buyaochongdong!”dazhanglaomeitouyizhou,kaikoushuodao。

“nibizui,laodongxi,buyaoyiweibuzhidaonizaixiangshenme,meiyoulewoyeye,zheichujiajiuchenglenidenangzhongzhiwu。”chutianxunyidianmianzibujidazhanglao,shuangyanchihong,chuanzhecuqi。

“fangkaita!”chuyunlengshengshuodao。

“nifanglewoyeye!”chutianxunshengyinyouxiepoyin。

“henhao,”chuyunshouyisong,erzhanglaodeshentidiezuozaidishang,butingdekesouqilai。

“dongshou,jiwoshalezheilianggexiaochusheng!”erzhanglaowuzhebozi,xinzhongdeshayijihuyaojiangtadexiongtangchengbaole。

chutianxunyanzhongliseyishan,fangzaichuhongyubojingzhishangdeshouzhangmengranyongli。

chuyundelianseyinchendenengdichushuilai,yigukongbudeshayimengrancongtadeshenshangbaofachulai。zaichangderenruzhuibingku,quanshendeqixuezaizheiyikebeidongjie。

“congxiaodaoda,wodieniangdoubushededongtayigenshouzhitou,nijuranganshata!”

chutianxunjingkongwanfen,tadeshouzhangzhiyaoshaoyiyongli,jiukeyiniuduanchuhongyudebozi。

keshi,xianzaitazhinengyanzhengzhengdekanzhezijidewugenshouzhituolizijideshouzhang。zhanduanletawuzhidejiangang,shunzhechuhongyudebojingzhuanleyiquan,shunjianmeirulechutianxundemeixinzhizhong。

“bishangyanjing。”chuhongyuhurantingdaoerbianchuanlaiyigewenhedeshengyin。tatinghuadebishangyanjing,jiezhe,jiubeiyongruleyigewennuandehuaibao。

“噗!”

yishengqingweidebaolieshengxiangqilai,chutianxundenaodaixiangyigeshutoudexiguayiyangzhakai。