穿成炮灰后妈，我把阴郁反派崽养成鉴茶大师周默荧-著

小说简介

shuojushihuawodui《chuanchengpaohuihouma，wobayinyufanpaizaiyangchengjianchadashi》zheipianwenzhangfeichanggandong，yeshouduzhexihuan，wohaimeiyouduwannei，guzebaiweiweiguchendegushiqingjielingrenxinsixiangwang，ganxiezhoumoyingdenuli！jiangdeshi：shibailianhuagaozhuangle。womanyouyoudijiexiamianmo，luchuguangjiedeliandan，“guzongxiaoxitinglingtonga。zenme，baijiadexiaogongzhugennigaozhuangle？shuowozheigehoumaqifuta……

精彩章节

wosile。sizaileyichangjingxincehuadeshangyepianjuzhong。zaizhengyan，wochengleshuliyinyufanpaidehouma。yanqian，

neigeweilaihuijiaodetianfandifu、zuihoucansiyuzhongdexiaonanhai，zhengjiangyibashuiguodaodiji“nvzhu”。

“weiweijie，zhiyaonigaoxing，huahuawodelianyekeyi。”nvhaiyanzhongshanguoyisideyidesuanji，

queyoushunjianhuaweileishui。“xiaoze，nizenmenengzheimexiangwo？wozhishixintengni……”1yishihuilongdeshunjian，

wozhengzhanzaiyijianshehuadeguofendeertongfangmenkou。bijianyingraozheyigudandandexiaodushuiwei，

hunhezhejinqiandetongchouqi。wo，jiangwan，cengjingshijinrongquanlizuidingjiande“qizhashi”，

zhuanzhigezhongbufuhezibenjue。wonengbayifenhaowujiazhideqihuaanbaozhuangchengxiayigeshidaifengkou，

yenengbudongshengsedirangduishougongsidegujiayiyezhengfa。wodezidianlimeiyou“shishou”erzi，

zhidaozuihouyichanghaodu，wobeihehuorenbeipan，lianrendaichezhuirubinglengdehaili。xianzai，wochuanshule。

chuanchenglehaomenzongcaiguchendedierrenqizi，yeshitayinyuerziguzedehouma。zaiyuanzhuli，

wozheigejiaosejiushigebeijingban，cunzaideyiyijiushiyonggujiadeqianfengkuanggouwu，

ranhouzaiyigebuqiyandezhangjieliyinweidezuirenerqiaoranxiaxian。erwodejiziguze，

caishizheibenshulinongmozhongcaidedafanpai。tatongnianbuxing，beifuqinlengluo，

beiweiyixinrende“qingmeizhuma”baiweiweifanfuliyonghejingshenkongzhi。zhangdahou，

tachengleyigepianzhi、yinhendefengzi，weilejibaiweiweisaoqingzhangai，buzeshouduan，huaishizuojin，

zuizhongbeinanzhusongjinjianyu，zaiwujindehuihenheguduzhongbingshi。【dingdong！“fanpaixiuzheng”xitongyijihuo。

】yigejixiededianziyinzaiwonaozhongxiangqi。【suzhunihao，woshixitong007。

niderenwushixiuzhengfanpaiguzedechengzhangguiji，zuzhitaheihua，baohugujiacaichanbubeinvzhubaiweiweiqintun。

renwuchenggong，nijianghuodeyicizhongshengdejihui。】wo：【mingbaile。】wotuikaimen，

jiukandaoleyinzilineiyimu。basuideguze，shoudexianggendouyacai，liansecangbaidemeiyouyisixuese。

tachuanzheganjingdebaichenshan，toufaqueyouxielingluan，yishuangqiheideyanjinglishichaohunianlingdesijihepianzhi。

tashoulizuanzheyibafenglideshuiguodao，daojianduizheziji，daobingquedixianglemianqiandenvhai——baiweiwei。

baiweiweichuanzheyishenfensedegongzhuqun，zhazhekeaideshuangmawei，yanjingyoudayouyuan，cikezhengxumanleleishui，

kanqilaixiangyizhishoulejingdexiaotuzi，wuguyoukelian。“xiaoze，nibiezheiyang，wohaipa……”tashengyinfazhan，

yanleishuodiaojiudiao，“wozhishishuo，nibababuguanxinni，nihoumakendingyehuiqifuni，

wotininanguo……womeiyoubiedeyisi。”haoyiduoshengshibailianhua。puadehuashushuodeluhuochunqing。

xianshibiandiguzedejiatinghuanjing，rangtachanshengziwohuaiyihebeipaoqigan，

zaijiangzijisuzaochengweiyinenglijieta、xintengtaderen。zaizheizhongzhangqidejingshencaokongxia，

guzeduitachanshenglejiduandeyilaihebaohuyu，zuizhonglunweitashoushangzuifenglideyibadao。wolengxiaoyisheng，

caizhegaogenxiezoulejinqu。“pada，pada。”qingcuideshengxiangdapolefangjianliguiyidefenwei。

guzehebaiweiweitongshichaowokanlai。guzedeyanshenchongmanlejingtihekangju，xiangyizhisuishizhunbeigongjirendexiaoshou。

baiweiweizelengleyixia，suijiluchuyifuqieshengshengdebiaoqing，wanghousuolesuo，“a……ayi。”womeilita，

jingzhizoudaoguzemianqian，congtashoulinaguoneibashuiguodao。tadeshouhenliang，haizaiweiweifadou。

woyongzhijianqingqingdanleyixiadaoren，fachu“weng”deyishengqingming。“daobucuo，tingfenglide。”wodianledian，

ranhoubadaobingzhuanxiangbaiweiwei，lianshangguazheyingyeshideweixiao，“xiaoguniang，nigangcaibushishuoxintengtama？lai，

jihuilaile。”baiweiweidelian“shua”diyixiabaile。xitongzaiwonaozilijianjiao：【suzhu！suzhu！nilengjing！

womenshizhiyuxiyangzaijuben，bunengdongdaozia！huihexiede！】womeilihuixitongdezazahuhu。

wowangqiandiledishuiguodao，xiaorongyuefaheshan，“nazhea。fanzhengtadouyuanyirangnihuale，zhengmingnimenganqinghao。

zheiyangba，nihuatayidao，wojiniyibaiwan。hualiangdao，wojiniliangbaiwan。yaoshininengbatanongjinicu，

wozhijiejinizhuanyigeyi，zenmeyang？”baiweiweihedezuichundouzaiduosuo，lianlianhoutui，“ayi，

ni……nizaishuoshenme……wozenmehuishanghaixiaozeni？”“e？”wotiaoletiaomei，“nibuhui？

neinigangcaiweishenmebuzuzhita？yanzhengzhengkanzhetanadaoduizheziji，nidiaojidiyanleijiusuanxintengle？baiweiwei，

nizheixinteng，weimianyetailianjialedian。”wodeshengyinbuda，danmeiyigezidouxiangchuizi，

zhongzhongdizazaibaiweiweixinshang。tadexiaolianyizhenhongyizhenbai，beiwodudeshuobuchuhualai。guzeyezhengzhule，

tadaidaidikanzhewo，neishuangsijideyanjingli，diyicichuxianleyisikunhuo。woshouqidao，

suishourengjinpangbiandelajitongli，fachu“kuangdang”yisheng。ranhou，wodunxiashen，pingshizheguze。“xiaozi，

jizhu。diyi，nideshentihelian，shinizijide，chuleni，sheidoumeizigedong。sheixiangdong，

jiurangtazuohaotangjinyiyuandezhunbei。”“dier，lianjiadeyanleihetongqing，shizuimeiyongdedongxi。

nengweinidangdaozi，nengweinichutou，neicaijiaopengyou。zhihuidongdongzuipizi，rangniziwoshanghailaizhengmingganqingde，

neishidiren，shipianzi。”woshenchushou，nielenietabinglengdexiaoliandan，“donglema？”guzexiangshibeiheshale，

yidongbudong，yebushuohua。woyebuzaiyi。zhongziyijingmaixia，wobujizherangtalikefaya。wozhanqishen，

jugaolinxiadikanzhebaiweiwei，yuqihuifuleneizhongshangyetanpanshidemanbujingxin，“bai**，

womenjiaguzejintianleile，xuyaoxiuxi。guanjia，songke。”yizhihouzaimenwaideguanjialikezoujinlai，

duibaiweiweizuolege“qing”deshoushi。baiweiweiyaozhechun，buganxindikanleguzeyiyan，

zuihouhaishigenzheguanjiazoule。fangjianlizhishengxiawoheguze。tayijiuzhanzaiyuandi，xiangyizunxiaoxiaodediaosu。

xitong：【suzhu，nigangcaihaoaa！buguo……nizheimezhijie，huibuhuihedaoxiaofanpai？

taxianzaiduinidehaoganduhaishifushuni。】“fushu？”woxiaole，“zhenghao，woyeshi。

”woduiyanghaizimeishenmexingqu。wozhishi，zuitaoyanbeirendangchengshaziyiyangwannongyuguzhangzhishang。

baiweiweideshouduan，zaiwokanlai，zhuoliedekexiao。erguze，jiushineigebeipiandeshazi。wo，jiangwan，

shoudixiakebudaishazi。“wei。”wokaikou。guzeshentiyizhan，zhongyuyoulefanying。tataiqitou，

jingtidikanzhewo。wocongkoudailitaochuyiketang，rengjita，“kulejiuchiketang，biedongbudongjiuwandaozi，

neishichunhuocaigandeshi。”shuowan，wozhuanshenjiuzou，meizaiduokantayiyan。2dangwan，guchenhuilaile。

zuoweizheibenshudenanzhu……tadie，guchenshigebiaozhundegongzuokuang。sanshichutoujiuzuoyongyigepangdadeshangyediguo，

changnianwenjufuhaobangqiansan。tayingjun，duojin，danyelengmo，shuli。yuanzhuli，

tajihumeiyoujindaoguozuofuqindezeren。guzedetongnian，shizaiwujindedengdaiheshiwangzhongduguode。

zheiyeshiguzexinggeniuqudezhongyaoyuanyinzhiyi。wozuozaiketingdeshafashang，yibianfuzhemianmo，

yibiankancaijingxinwen，dengzhetazitouluowang。xuanguanchuanlaidongjing。guchentuoxiaxizhuangwaitaodijiyongren，

chelechelingdai，maizhezhangtuizoulejinlai。tashenshangdaizheyigudandandejiuqihefengchenpupudepibeigan。

“jintianjialifashengshenmeshile？”takaimenjianshan，shengyindichen，daizheburongzhihuideyapogan。wocai，

shibailianhuagaozhuangle。womanyouyoudijiexiamianmo，luchuguangjiedeliandan，“guzongxiaoxitinglingtonga。zenme，

baijiadexiaogongzhugennigaozhuangle？shuowozheigehoumaqifutale？”guchenmeitouweicu，

shensuideyanmoukanbuchuqingxu，“tazhishishuo，niduixiaozedetaidubutaihao。”“e，shima？”woxiaole，

“neitayoumeiyougaosuni，tashizenmejiaosuonierzinadaozicande？”guchendelianseshunjianchenlexialai，

“nishuoshenme？”“worangguanjiabajiankongluxiangdiaochulaile。”wozhilezhichajishangdepingbandiannao，

“guzongriliwanji，kenengmeishijianguanxinerzidesihuo。buguo，wojianyinihaishichoukongkanyikan。bijing，

zheiguanxidaoniweiyidejichengren，shihuichengweiyigezhengchangren，haishichengweiyigebeirenkongzhidefengzi。

”wodeyuqihenpingjing，quedaizheyisibuyichahandechaofeng。guchendemuguangluozaineipingbanshang，chenmolejimiao，

zuizhonghaishinaleqilai，diankaibofang。shipinhenqingxi，jiangxiawufangjianlifashengdeyiqiedoujilulexialai。

suizheshipindebofang，guchendelianseyuelaiyuenankan，zhoushendeqiyayeyuelaiyuedi。

dangkandaoguzejiangdaodijibaiweiweishi，tawozhepingbandeshouzhigujiedoufanbaile。shipinfangwan，

fangjianliyipiansiji。“kanwanle？”woduanqizhuoshangdeyanwo，mantiaosilidiheleyikou，“ganjueruhe？

guzong，nishibushijuede，zijizheigefuqindangdetebiechenggong？”guchenmeiyoushuohua，

zhishijiangpingbanzhongzhongdifangzaizhuoshang，fachu“peng”deyisheng。taqishen，jingzhichaoloushangzouqu。wozhidao，

tashiquzhaoguzele。xitongyouxiedanyou：【suzhu，nizheime**ta，tahuibuhui……】“huishenme？

”wowusuoweidisongsongjian，“zouguzeyidun？haishiguantajinbi？suibian。yigebufuzerendefuqin，

heyigebeipuaxinaodeerzi，zheijiaojuepei。”wojiangwan，conglaibuzuokuibenmaimai。jielezheigerenwu，

wojiuyaoyongwodefangshilaijiejue。xiangyaozhihaoguze，shouxianjiudeqiaoxingtazheigehutudie。guoran，meiguoduojiu，

loushangchuanlaileguchenyayizhenuhuodeshengyin，yijiguzejueqiangdechenmo。womeishangqucourenao。

fuziliangdediyicizhengmianjiaofeng，wozheige“wairen”，haishibuchanheweihao。banxiaoshihou，guchenxialaile。

talianshangdaizheyisipibeihecuobai，zuozaiwoduimiandeshafashang，jizijidaolebeishui。“tashenmedoubukenshuo。

”guchendeshengyinyouxieshaya。“yiliaozhizhong。”wofangxiayanwowan，“yigezhangqiqueaidehaizi，

turanbeifuqinzhiwen，tayaomehaipa，yaomenifan。nizhiwangtagennitaoxintaofei？”guchentaimoukanwo，

yanshenfuza，“ni……haoxianghendong。”“budong。”woyaotou，“wozhishikandeduo。guzong，shuwozhiyan，

nierzixianzaideqingkuang，jiuxiangyigechuxianzhongdaloudongdechengxu。erbingdu，jiushineigejiaobaiweiweidenvhai。

ruguonizaibujinxingxiufuheshadu，dengzheigechengxuchedibengkui，nijiudengzhejitashoushiba。

”wobahuashuodehenzhong。yinweiduifuguchenzheizhongren，wenhedequanshuohaowuyongchu。

nibixubazuihuaidejieguoxuelinlindibaizaitamianqian，tacaihuiyousuochudong。“wogaizenmezuo？”tawen。

zheigewenti，zongsuanwendaodianzishangle。woqiaoqierlangtui，huanlegeshufudezishi，“henjiandan。diyi，

qieduanbingduyuan。yihou，jinzhibaiweiweizaitarugujiabanbu，yejinzhiguzesixiajianta。

”guchenzhoumei：“baijiahewomenshishijiao，zheiyangzuo，buhaojiaodai。”“e，suoyiweilenidemianzi，

erzidemingkeyibuyao？”wofanwen。guchenbeiwoyeleyixia，meizaifanbo。“dier，”wojixushuo，

“jinxingxitongxiufu。nixuyaohuashijian，shizhenzhengdeshijian，erbushimeitianhuilaiwenyiju‘zuoyexiewanlema’。

daitachuquwan，peitachifan，gentaliaotian。rangtazhidao，zheigeshijieshang，chulebaiweiwei，haiyourenzaiguanxinta。

”“womeishijian。”taxiayishidihuida。“shijianjiuxiang**，jijizonghuiyoude。

”womianwubiaoqingdihuijingleyijuwangluomingyan。guchen：“……”tabeiwode“cusu”zhenjingdeyishiyusai。

“disan，yeshizuizhongyaodeyidian。”wokanzheta，yiziyidundishuo，“jitajianlizhengquedefanghuoqiang。

niyaojiaotafenbianshifei，shibiehuangyan，jianlizixin。rangtamingbai，tahenhao，tazhidebeiai，

tabuxuyaotongguoshanghaizijilaiquyuerenheren。”woshuowan，duanqishuibeihelekoushui，runlerunsangzi。

guchenchenmolehenjiu，jiudaowoyiweitashuizhele。jiuzaiwozhunbeiqishenzourendeshihou，takaikoule。“jiangwan，

”tajiaowodemingzi，“nihechuanwenzhongde……henbuyiyang。”chuanwenzhong，jiangwanshigechulehuaqianhedaban，

yiwushichudehuaping。woxiaolexiao，“renzongshihuibiande。guzong，wodehuashuowanle。zenmezuo，nizijijueding。

fanzheng，erzishinide，gongsiyeshinide。peile，kuideyeshini。”shuowan，woshishirandishanglou，

huifangshuijuequle。liuxiaguchenyigeren，zaishenyedeketingli，yuzijideyingzixiangduiwuyan。3diertian，

woqidehenwan。xialoushi，guchenyijingqugongsile，guzeyeyijingqushangxuele。

canzhuoshangfangzheyifenwenredezaocan，pangbianhaiyouyizhangbianqian，shiguchenliuxiade，longfeifengwudeziji。

【baijiadeshi，wohuichuli。zhoumogongsiyouyicituanjian，qujiaowaimachang，daishangguze。】wotiaoletiaomei。

xingdonglihaibucuo。kanlaizuowanneifanhua，tatingjinqule。xitong：【gongxisuzhu，

chenggongshuofufanpaitadiejiaruzhenying！guchenduinindexinrendutisheng10%！】woyibianchizhezaocan，

yibianpansuanzhejiexialaidejihua。gaizaoguze，bunengyicuerjiu。neihaizijiuxiangyikuaibeibingfenglehenjiudeshitou，

youlengyouying。xiangyaoronghuata，deyongduifangfa。qianggongbuxing，neijiuzhiqu。xiawu，woquxuexiaojieguzefangxue。

yuanzhucongmeizuoguozheizhongshi，suoyidangwokaizheneiliangsaobaodefensepaochechuxianzaixiaomenkoushi，

yinqilebuxiaodehongdong。guzebeizheshubaozouchulai，kandaowo，jiaobumingxianyidun，lianshangshihaobuyanshidepaichi。

taraoguowodeche，xiangzijizouhuijia。woluoxiachechuang，jiaozhuta，“shangche。”tajiazhuangmeitingjian，

jixuwangqianzou。woyebunao，nachushouji，botongleguchendedianhua，haikailemianti。“wei？

”guchendeshengyinchuanlai。“guzong，nierzibukenshangwodeche。”woyongyizhonggongshigongbandeyuqishuo，

“wohuaiyitaxiangquzhaobaiweiwei。niyaobuyaoxianzaipairenbatazhuahuilai？”dianhuaneitouchenmolejimiao。erguze，

yijingtingxialejiaobu，jiangyingdizhuanguoshen，sisididengzhewo。“rangtashangche。

”guchendeshengyindaizheyisiburongjujuedemingling。guzedezuichunminchengyitiaozhixian，xiaoxiaodequantouwodesijin。

zuizhong，tahaishibuqingbuyuandilakaichemen，zuolejinlai。“peng”deyisheng，chemenbeitashuaidezhentianxiang。

woguadiaodianhua，duizhetaxiaolexiao，“nikan，zheiyangbujiushengshiduole？”taniuguotou，kanzhechuangwai，

yonghounaoshaoduizhewo。woyebujieyi，qidongchezi，huirucheliu。“xiangbuxiangbaofubaiweiwei？”wohurankaikou。

guzedeshentimengdiyizhen，taxunsuhuitoukanwo，yanshenlichongmanlehuaiyihejingti。“nishenmeyisi？

”tadeshengyinyoulengyouying，xiangbingchazi。“zimianyisi。”wodanshouwozhefangxiangpan，

yuqiqingsongdexiangzaitaoluntianqi，“taliyongni，qipianni，banidangchengshazishua。

ninandaojiubuxiangrangtayechangchangzheizhongziwei？”“nihushuo！weiweijiemeiyou！”tajidongdifanbo，

xiaolianzhangdetonghong。“e，shima？”woconghoushijinglikanletayiyan，“neinigaosuwo，

zuotiantaweishenmeyanzhengzhengkanzheninadao？yigezhenzhengguanxinnideren，huishizheizhongfanyingma？”guzezhanglezhangzui，

queshuobuchuhualai。tazhishisisididengzhewo，yanshenliyoufennu，youmimang，

haiyouyisitazijidoumeichajuedaodedongyao。“woyouyigejihua。”womeidengtahuida，ziguzidishuoxiaqu，

“yigenengrangtashenbaimingliedejihua。youmeiyouxingqutingyiting？”wobachetingzailubian，zhuanguotou，

renzhendikanzheta。“dangran，zheigejihuaxuyaonidepeihe。ruguonibuyuanyi，woyebuhuimianqiang。

nikeyijixudangnide‘huhuashizhe’，xinganqingyuandibeitadangchengqizi。lushinizijide，zenmexuan，

zaiyuni。”wojiletayigexuanzeti。yigerangtawufajujuedexuanzeti。yinweiwozhidao，guzedeguzili，

shijiaoaode。beiqipian，beiliyong，duirenherenlaishuodoushiyizhongwuru。tazhishibeibaiweiweizhangqixinao，

zanshishiqulepanduanlieryi。wodehua，jiuxiangyibazhuizi，henhendizhajinletaxinlineidaojinbidemenfeng。

tachenmolehenjiu，xiaoxiaodexiongtangjuliediqifuzhe。“……shenmejihua？”tazhongyukaikou，shengyinganse。

4wodejihuahenjiandan，sigezi：yibizhidao。baiweiweibushixihuanzhuangkelian、botongqingma？

neiwojiurangguzebitagengnengyan，bitageng“kelian”。“xiazhouyishixuexiaodeyishujie，