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第一十六章破军来电
mousinvshenhouting，sirenbaoxiangnei。
“malao，ninzheishizenmele？”
jianmaweiguoyiliantongkudewuzhexiongkouzoulai，benzaipinjiudelitianhuidangjifangxialebeizi。
lihaochenyeshifenyouyanli，lianmangqishenqianquchanfu。
dengzuoxiahou，maweiguocaikaikoudao：“lizong，ninshuodeneigewangtian，woganggangjianguole。”
“你们交手了？”
litianhuifangfocaidaoleshenme，jianmaweiguodiantou，tajixuwendao：“nindouchilezheimedakui，xiangbineixiaoziyeshangdebuqingba？”
maweiguomianfankuxiao，“woshule，yibaitudi。”
suiranhenbuxiangchengren，danshishiruci，tazhinengzheimeshuo。
lihaochenturanjuedeshoulideluyishisantabuxiangle，biaoqingbukesiyidao：“malaoninkezhengerbajingdewuzhe，zenmehuishujiyigemaotouxiaozini！”
zaihuaiyangquanzili，danlunwuli，maweiguobuganshuoshijueduiwudidecunzai，dancongwubaiji。
haobukuazhangdeshuo，shanhehuinengyoujintiandeguimo，youyibandoushikaomaweiguodachulaide。
zhengyinruci，lihaochenzaitingdaofuqindasuanrangmaweiguoqinzichushoushi，tacaihuineimexingfen。
xianzaimaweiguoshuozijishule，erqieshudeyibaitudi，zheirangtaruhexiangxin！
litianhuibuxianglihaochenneimehuangluan，danyebuyoudezhouqilemeitou，“tayeshiwuzhe？”
“没错。”
“malaokezhitashichenghepai？”
zaishangliuquanzidailezheimejiu，litianhuihaishizhidaoyixiejianghuguijude。
zaimeigaoqingchuwangtiandezhenzhengshenfenzhiqian，tabuhuizaimaoranchushou。
maweiguoyilianyansudao：“tazhishuolezijishifudemingzi，sihushiyiweichaozhongguizu，jiaoshenme‘weijueye’，buzhilizongshifoutingguo？”
“……”
baoxiangnei，xianruleyipianguguaideningjing。
“liangweiweihebushuohua，mobuchengdourendeciren？”
maweiguoxinzhongnamenwubi，zijizhibuguocaituixiulejinianeryi，jiuzhoujiushachulezheimeyiweigaoshou？
zuizhonghaishilihaochenrenbuzhushuodao：“malao，neiweijueyexianshizhonggenbenbucunzai，jiushigewuxiaxiaoshuoliderenwueryi！”
“什么？！”
maweiguodengshimingbai，zijidaodifanleyigeduomehuangtangdecuowu。
“chouxiaozi！wofeiyaojiangtacuoguyanghuibuke！”
maweiguoqideyizhangjiangshenqiandechajipaichulegekulong。
litianhuianweidao：“malao，ninnianjidale，meikanguowuxiaxiaoshuohenzhengchang，buguoxiangbineixiaoziyebushishenmemingmenchushen，burannahuiluanbaoshicheng。”
yueshizhengtongdewuzhe，yueshizhuzhongshimenmingyu。
xiangwangtianzheizhongnashichengkaiwanxiaoderen，bushibeizhuchumenqiangdeqitu，jiushifanletoushixueyidejianghudaji。
wulunnazhongqingkuang，douzuyizhengmingwangtiandebeijingbuzhiyiti。
maweiguoshuangquanjinwo，muguangsenrandao：“laofumingribianfanhuishimen，dingrangzheixiaozifuchuzuicantongdedaijia！”
litianhuiyitingzheihua，dunshimiansedaxi。
hunyuanyingzhuamen，keshizhengerbajingdejianghumenpai，juefeishanhehuizheizhongxiaochengdedixiabanghuikebi。
ruguomaweiguozhenyuanyifangxialaolian，qingshimenzhongrenchutou，wangtianbisiwuyi！
……
youyumingtianhaiyaoshangban，zhongrenbingmeiyouwandaotaiwan。
daijialaileyihou，bianyiyifenbie。
weilebimianzijihesuqingxuedeguanxipuguang，wangtianjujuelezhaoqianzishaodaidehaoyi，duzidachefanhuilelongyuanju。
shunbianzaiyijia24xiaoshiyingyedebianlidian，mailedianrichangyongpin。
denghuidaobieshudeshihou，yijingshilingchenle。
ketinglidapingmudeyejingdianshi，zhengfangzhebuzhimingdejiemu。
suqingxuedaizheerji，yitouwufaruyunpusan，xiangmaoyiyangquansuozaishafashang。
chajihedishang，quanshijingniangpijiudekongguanzi。
wangtianwunaidetanlekouqi，tuoxiawaitao，qingqinggaizailetashenshang，ranhoujiangkongdiaodewendudiaogaolejidu。
huifangjianshi，wangtianfaxian，bashoushangguazheyiduidaizi，quanshiguchi、fansizhe、luyiweidengdengmingpai。
suiranpaizibutong，dankuanshidouheneitianmianshishichuandechabuduo。
jiandankeyigaikuowei，bait、niuzikuyijiqianseqiuxie。
zheinvren，haizhenshishuodaozuodao。
wangtianxiangshidiyicishoudaoliwudehaitongban，shalelebantian。
zuihoushenshenkanleyiyanshafashangdesuqingxue，zheicaituimenjinqushuijue。
diertian，wangtianxiangwangchangyiyangdezaoqiduanlian。
gangdaoketing，jiukandaolezhanzaikafeijiqiandesuqingxue。
shuiyanmenglong，fasilingluan，quesihaomeiyouyingxiangtatianshengdemeigan。
jianwangtianchulai，suqingxuezhudongkaikoudao：“bieyundongle，zhijiehuanyifu，jintianshiwoyeyedeshouyan，nigenwoyiqicanjia。”
“得嘞！”
wangtianmeizaichuanzhiqiandexizhuang，ershicongzuotiansuqingxuegangmaideyifuli，tiaoleyishen。
fansizhetxu、liweisiniuziku，waijiayishuangnaikelanqiuxie。
yishiyinweitabudaxihuanxizhuangdeshufugan，ershiyinweiyiyibutong。
jifanxisuiranminggui，danneizhishilinshidapei，zheixiekedoushisuqingxueqinziweitamaide。
chulaishisuqingxueyemeishuoshenme，sihubingbujuedezheimechuanyoushenmebutuo。
baishoudoushiyijiaziyiqiqu，suoyiyaoxianqusuqingxuefumujiayitang。
liangrenlushangyemeixianzhe，shibushijiuhuiduiyixialianailvli。
dagaishiduofenzhong，jiudaolesuqingxuefumuzaishizhongxindehaozhaixiaoqu。
gangxiache，wangtiandeshoujijiuxiangleqilai。
kanleyiyanlaidianrenmingzi，tachensiyihuier，duisuqingxueshuodao：“woxianqujiegedianhua。”
gangyijietong，yigejidongdeshengyinbiancongtingtonglichuanlechulai，“shifu，shiwo，pojun！ninxianzaizaihuaiyangduibudui？”
“对。”
duiyuxiaopojunzhidaozijidexialuo，wangtianyidianyebuyiwai。
congsongqingshanshoudaodanchuangdeneiyikeqi，tadexingzongqishijiuyijingbaolule。
beirenzhidao，zhishichizaodeshi。
xiaopojunxiaoxinyiyidewendao：“wokeyiquzhaoninma？”
“kanlainizheizhongzhouzhanshen，dangdetingxian。”
“shifu，ninshilejiewode，wozheirenchuledazhangmeibiedebenshi，junwufangmianyizhidoushibuxiazaidali，zaishuole，nindaolewodexiajing，wobujianninyimian，neishuodeguoquma！”
wangtianxianglexiang，“nikeyilai，danbietaizhangyang，nizhidao，wozheirenbuxihuanrenao，zanliangsuibianzhaojiafandian，hedianxiaojiujiuxing。”
“zhiyaonengjiannin，quchidapaidangdouxing！”
zheibianzhengliaozhe，tinghaochedesuqingxuezaibuyuanchucuicudao：“haiyaoduojiu？”
wangtianhaimeiyingsheng，xiaopojundaoxianfalaileyilianchuandeyiwen，“nvdeshengyin？shifuninzhaoduixiangle？jiehunlemei？shimuzhangdepiaoliangma？shiwenrouxianhuixingde，haishi——”
budengtashuowan，wangtianjiugualedianhua，xiaomadao：“chouxiaozi，yuelaiyuebubawodanghuishile，wendedoushishenmewenti，nishimudangranshizheigeshijiezuipiaoliangdenvren，zhiyuwenbuwenrou……”
“在嘀咕什么？”
wangtianyaoleyaotou，“meishenme。”
suqingxueyemeizaizhuiwen，daitazoujinlezhuangshihaohuaderuhudatang……
妻子酒后越界，下场比鬼还惨
作者：天天走上
栏目：都市
zuozhe：wowudilehaizinuligen
栏目：都市
zuozhe：xiangzuobaifumeidexiaoniu
栏目：都市
假装穷小子体验生活，校花女友当众羞辱我，我摊牌了。
zuozhe：choumingzhaozhudemingzhengnvdi
栏目：都市
作者：木千
栏目：都市
一屋子亲戚逼我交出抚恤金，说我是个废物不配用
作者：加勒比海怪
栏目：都市
