《gaishikuangtu》zheibenshuzaochengdexuanniantaiduo，jirenkanbugoudeganjue。xiumukediaosuiranmeiyouhualidecizao，danshigushiqifudiedang，nenggoushizhiyinrenrusheng，zhujiaoweixiaobeichenmuziyan。xiaoshuojingxuan:zheixiekebushiputongdemeizi，ershizaiyingmushangdahongdazi……wushunanrenmengmeiyiqiudenvmingxinga!“neng!wolaianpai，zhidaoxiaoxianshengmanyiweizhi。”chenguohuaji……
shengyinbuda，quegewaideqingcui。
唰唰!
wushurendouzhuantoudingzhexiaobeichen。
gensuiyetianhuyiqilaidesanmingzhuanghan，cikedoudengshangsanlou，nuqichongchongdeweizhexiaobeichen。
yetianhumeimaoyitiao：“nishei?”
xiaobeichenlengdandetuchusangezi：“xiaobeichen。”
yetianhuyaotoubiaoshimeitingguo，lengxiao：“niyeyaohewoguoshou?”
萧北辰：“不。”
yetianhulengchao：“neinishuogechuizi，jiwobizui。fouze，wobujieyiyibazhangpaisini!”
xiaobeichen：“wobuheniguoshou，shiyinweinimeizigezuowodeduishou。ershi，woyaoshani!”
budengyetianhukaikou，muziyanlikeqishenzhiqian：“hudashiqingxinu，tanaozibutaihao，qingnibuyaohetayibanjijiao。”
唰!
muziyanyibazhuaizhuxiaobeichendeshoubei，yansuhechi：“xiaobeichen，zheilimeishuohuadefen，jiwobizui!”
xiaobeichenhendanding：“nizaiguanxinwo?”
muziyan：“wopanisile，wobuhaojiwobajiaodai。”
“bushinibarangwolaibangnideme?”
“xiaobeichen，yetianhudeqiangdaniyekanjianle，fangcaipiyunxiongtaideneiyituizhishaoqianjinzhili。shigenidoubushitadeduishou。bienaolexingma?”
“niyoubulejiewo，pingshenmeshuowobushitadeduishou?kuangqie，zuowanwodayinglechenguohua，weitaliaoliyetianhu。zuoren，bukeyanerwuxin。”
xiaobeichenbaikaimuziyandeshou，manmandezhanqishen，yingshangyetianhudemuguang：“yetianhu，nibugailaide。gengbugaitoulunishifushijiangbeiyecangqiong。”
yetianhuhahadaxiao：“jintianzaibeiningquyujiandeqipazhenshiyigejiezheyige。wodaoyaokankan，niyigehuangkouxiaoer，youshenmezigeshuodahua。”
“yaozige?hao，wojini。”
hualuo，xiaobeichenqingqingtaiqiyoushou。
fangfotaiqileyibawuxingdeshenjian。
zai，binglongshizhizhongzhi，hanranwangqianyizhan。
轰隆!
虚空炸响!
youruyinbaoleyikezhadanside。
yidaotoumingsedejianqilingkongzhaqi，gaodasanmi，tiezhedimianwangqiankuangbiaotujin。
轰轰轰!
jianqi，qiekaihongmudiban，chazhuo，yizi……zaiwangqianhenggeyiqie，kuangbiaoshimizhiwai，huoranchongchusanlouhoujixuhenglvezhangkong，zhanduantingfengloushimiwaideyikebainiansongboshu。
dashuyaohuang，gulouzhendong，songyefeimantian!
yetianhusanmingshouxiashanbibuji，beiqiechengliangban，shunjianbaobi!
“zheigezige，gouma?”
静!
全场死静!
chenguohua，chenziheng，zhouya，muziyan……quanbushaleyan。
这还是人吗?!
tebieshimuziyan，kanxiaobeichendeyanshen，youruzaikanyigemogui。
tayeshijiangmenzhihou，cengjingcongrong。jingyinganbaojituanzhihougengshizhaolanlegezhonggeyangdeqirenyishi，keconglaimeijianguoxiangxiaobeichenzheimeqianghandecunzai!
zhei，jianzhiheshenmingyiyanga!
neijingwaifang，bingzhichengjian!
bierenhuoxubuzhidaozheiyishouyiweizheshenme，danyetianhuhenqingchu，zheishichuanshuozhongde……wudaozongshi!!!
噗通!
yetianhushuangmuyuandeng，hongranguizaidishangketouqiurao。
“xiaodashi，duibuqi!zhiqianshiwoyouyanwuzhu!!duoyoumaofan，haiqingdashishuzui!”
“chenguohuadeqianwobuyaole，tazhiqianpohaiwoqizideshiqing，woyebuzaijijiao。zuijinyiduanshijian，wodazachenjiachanyezaochengdesunshi，shuangbeifenghai，ruhe?”
jianxiaobeichenbubiaotai，yetianhuzaicikoushou：“woshifunaishiyecangqiong，neijingdachenggaoshou，zuoyongshushiyizichan，renchengjiangbeiwang。haiqingxiaodashijiwoshifuyigebomian。fangwoyima!”
xiaobeichenfushouerli，lengmokaikou：“benlai，keyi。dannishifushiyecangqiong，neijiubuxingle。”
yetianhujinghuangshicuo：“qingdashimingshi。”
xiaobeichenlenglengdao：“wunianqian，zhonghaixiaoshiyimen，beituludaijin。yecangqiong，biancanyuqizhong。wocifannanxia，bianyaoweixiaojiataoyigegongdao。”
yetianhufangfoxiangdaoleshenmehenkepadeshiqing，mudengkoudai：“ni，nishilongshanxiaoshideyizi?!!”
唰!
xiaobeichenyigehuabuchuxianzaiyetianhushenqian：“nizhidaodetaiduole。”
yetianhuhuranyishidaoxiaobeichenshenshangyongdongdeshaqi，jinzhangdahou：“bu，nibunengshawo。woshifushijiangbeiwang!!!”
“niyaoshishalewo，jiangbeidetianjiutale!zheihouguo，nichengdanbuqi!”
xiaobeichenlengheng：“jiangbeiwangyeganwangchengjiangbeidetian?kexiaozhiji!jinrinixianzouyibu，huitouwozaisongjiangbeiwangxiaqupeini!“
“wodaoyaokankan，shalenizhihou，jiangbeidetianhuibuhuita!”
hualuo，taishou，yishouzuodao，moguoyetianhudebozi。
咔嚓!
脑袋搬家!
叶天虎，死!
全场死静!
renrenjingsong，wubudanhan!tamenzenmedouxiangbudao，xiaobeichenjingranshaleyetianhu!
takeshijiangbeiwangdeaitua!
xiaobeichenjiubupajiangbeiwangbaofume?!
完了!
jiangbeidetian，yaotale!!
xiaobeichenbingweilihuitamendezhenjing，ershinaqipangbiandeyigexinglidai，xiaoxinyiyidebayetianhudenaodaizhuangjinqu，lashanglalian。
linqixinglidai，xiaobeichenchaozheloutikouzouqu：“chenguohua，wobangni，shiyinweihuayunfengkailekou。yuqitarenhe，wuguan。”
“jinrizhihou，niwozhijian，liangqing。”
luguomuziyanshenbiandeshihou，xiaobeichentingleyixia，daliangzhezheigejuemeidenvren：“nizongyiweiwomenjiehun，shiwogaopanle。keni，youhecengzhenzhengdelejieguowo?”
muziyandouhaimeicongzhenjingzhonghuanguoshenlai，jiciyuyanyouzhi。
xiaobeichendebiaoxian，taizhenhanle。
xiaobeichenkantazheiqijiyoubuganfazuo，xiangdaoqianyoubuhaoyisikaikoudeyangzi，shenshikeai，dangxiawanweiyixiao。
“nizheianbaojituan，ganzhemeishenmeyisi。yaobu，jiesanle，genwohun?”
liuxiayijuhua，xiaobeichenrenyijingzouxialoutile。
shenhou，chuanlaisuoyourenyikoutongshengdeshengyin。
“恭送萧大师!”
muziyanzhanzailoutikou，kanzhexiaobeichenlikaidebeiying，meimouliuzhuan，liangjiushuobuchuhualai。
……
renqunsanjin，tingfengloushang，zhishengxiachenguohuahechenzihengfuzi。
chenzihengtanruanzaiyizishang，sesefadou：“zhenmeixiangdao，zheijiahuodeshilijingrandadaolejingshihaisudewudaozongshi。nanguaihuayunfengjiangjunhuiqinzituijianciren。keshitajingranshaleyetianhu，takeshijiangbeiwangyecangqiongdeaitua。jiangbei，yaofashengdadizhenle。”
chenguohuazhangtan：“ershisuichutoujiudadaowudaozongshi，fangyanzhenggezhonghai，zhipadoushubuchudiergele。zhishi，henkexi……tashilongshanxiaoshideyunie。”
chenzihengnannandao：“longshanxiaoshi，hengbadaxiadongbushibaxingshengdedingjijiangmen。daxiadingguozhizhandekaiguoyuanxun!wunianqian，yiyebeimie，shangqianzidibeisha。zhei，daodifashengleshenme?”
chenguohuayaotou：“zheimedadeshi，qishiwonengzhidaode。buguowodaoshizhidao，wunianqianzhonghaixiaoshiyimai，beirenlianhejiaomie，yiyezhijian，shigurushan。rujindejiangbeiwangyecangqiong，cengjingjiushizhonghaixiaoshidementu。sihuyecanyuqizhong……zheiyicixiaobeichenguilaidediyijianshijiushaleyetianhu，zhijietiaoxinjiangbeiwang!zheijiangbei，yaobiantianlea!”
shuowan，chenguohuafangfoxiangdaoleshenme，huranzhanqishen，shuangmujiongjiongyoushen：“womenchenjiaziwunianqianfashengleneijianshihou，jiuyizhizaizouxiapolu，wunianlai，chenjiazichanshousuolejiuchengbuzhi。xianzaiwairensuiranhanwoyishengshoufu，danandiliquezaixiaohuawoni。buran，ququyigeyetianhuyouqinengbawochenjiayadaozheigedibu。”
“buguo，xianzaijihuilaile。zhiyaowomenchenjiabangshangxiaobeichenzheikedashu，jiuyoujihuijueqi。”
chenzihengyexingfenbuyi：“fuqinshixiang，buxiyiqiedaijia，jiejiaoxiaobeichen?”
chenguohuadao：“suiranxiaojiachoudihenduo，danzheishiwomenchenjiadeweiyidejihuile。womenbixuhaoduzheiyici!”
……
文昌路一号。
jintian，muziyanmeiyouqugongsi，congtingfengloulikaizhihou，zhijiehuidaolejiali，zhaomutianhaoshuoqilexiaobeichendeshiqing。
“xiaobeichenjiushigefengzi!tajingranshaleyetianhu!zheikeshijiangbeiwangdegaotua。jiexialai，jiangbeiwangdetaotiannuhuojijiangbaofa，wotianhonganbaojituandouyaobeiqianlian。”
“xiaobeichen，taichongdongle!!!tayiweipingjiezijihennengda，jiunengsiyiwangwei?zheigeshehui，zaojiubuzaishimangfudajiadeshidaile，jiangjiudeshicaifu，quanshihediwei!”
muziyansuiranbeixiaobeichenneiyishousuozhenjing，danzhongjiubuzhidaoxiaobeichenshiwudaozongshi，gengbuzhidaowudaozongshiyiweizheshenme……
mutianhaotinglequebuhuangbumang，faneryilianhanxiao：“nijiuduixiaobeichenzheimemeixinxin?”
muziyanfenfendao：“ba，neikeshijiangbeiwangyecangqiong。xiongjuzhonghaijiangbeiliuqudezuodihu，sheiganwuni?”
“keedeshitabujiewodianhua，ba，nijitadadianhua，rangtalikepaolu!likaizhonghai，yongyuanbuyaozaihuilai。”
mutianhaofeidanmeidadianhua，fanerqingxiaodao：“duinilaogongduodianxinxinma。”
muziyan：“ba，wohenrenzhendezaihenigoutong。niyansudianxingbuxing?”
mutianhaobuyiweiran：“nibushishuo，yetianhulinsiqiantidaoxiaobeichenshilongshanxiaoshiderenme?nikezhidaolongshanxiaoshiyiweizheshenme?”
muziyanliangyanliuliudezhuan：“yiweizheshenme?”
yetianhulinsiqianhexiaobeichenyouguoyiduanqiguaideduihua，dangshimuziyanguoyuzhenjing，bingweitaifangzaixinshang。
mutianhaoweiweidaolai：“sishinianqian，daxiadingguo。dongbuyishibaxingshengdeluanju，yousandajiangmenshijiadanding，qizhongjiubaokuolongshanxiaoshi。”
muziyanzhongyuyishidaoleshenme，daoxileyikoulengqi：“xiaobeichenshilongshanxiaoshizhihou?”
mutianhaozhongzhongdiantou：“xiaobeichendeyeyexiaoqianlong，laqidifangwuzhuang，diyuwaidi，dandingyifang。beilieweikaiguoyuanxun，dongtianzhushi。xiaobeichenyenianshaocongrong，weilieshaoshuai。kezaiwunianqian，longshanxiaoshitongbingzaidongbubianjingzhiwaihedonghaifashengleyichangzhanshi。xiaoshizhanbai，beiwenze。congcixiaoshiluopo。danyehaihao，kehoulaibuzhidaofashengleshenme，meiguoduojiu，longshanxiaoshimanmenshenmibeimie。”
“yiyezhijian，xueliuchenghe，shigurushan。xiaoshimanmen，zhiyoushaoshujigerenhuolexialai。qizhongjiubaokuoxiaobeichen。”
muziyantingdedanzhanxinjing：“tangtanglongshanxiaoshi，dongbusandajiangmenshijia，sheinengyiyemiejinxiaoshimanmen?”
mutianhaoyaotoutanxi：“zheiqizhongdaodifashengleshenme，woyebuzhidao。zhizhidao，cishisihuhezhonghaixiaoshiyimaituobukaiguanxi。bijingzhonghaixiaoshishixiaojiadezuzhai，fayuandi。dangchuxiaoqianlongjiuchushengzaizheili，congzhonghaikaishiqijia，zuihouchuangxiajingtianweiye!”
muziyanxinshendazhen，naohaizhongbuyoufuxianchuxiaobeichendeshenying。
huranjuedexiaobeichenhenkelian……
xujiu，muziyanhuanguoshen，yaoya：“houlai，xiaobeichenyouqulenali?zenmexiuchengleyishenwugong?”
mutianhaotanxi，mouzililuchunongnongdetongqing：“longshanxiaoshibeimiehou，tazaikunlundailewunian。wutianqian，shoutashifudemingling，nanxiazhonghai，heniwanhun。”
muziyanzhangtan，xinzhongwanxi：tachushengdaoshigaogui，yidaishaoshuai，shourenjingpei，danlongshanxiaoshizhongjiuyijingmeile。jiusuantayouyishenwugong，dan，wufagaibiandajude。
mutianhaoshenshoufulebamuziyandenaodai：“xianzai，nizhongyuzhidaotashirenzhongzhilongle?dangchuwotinijujueleleishao，jiajita，buweiquniba?”
muziyanyaoleyaoya：“jiehunwutian，jiwodaiwudinglvmao。nigenwoshuobuweiqu?”
xiangdaozheidian，tajiuqibudayichulai。
mutianhaokuxiao：“wodeshanvera。tayebumanyizheibaobandehunyin。dantabunengjujuetashifudeyizhi，tazheimezuo，shixiangzhizaohunneimaodunrangnizhudongtilihuna。dongma?”
“wogandabaopiao，taheluzigetamenkendingmeishenme。”
muziyanhaishiyaotou：“gunanguanv，tongchuyishi，renjiahaishigetantianhou，duoshaonanrendemengzhongqingren。zenmekenengmeifashengshenme?”
shuozhe，muziyannaohaizhongdoukaishinaobuhuamianle。
jianruanmoyingpaodoubuxing，mutianhaobanzheliandao：“haole，xiaobeichenheyecangqiongdemaodunnibieguanle。yuandufushu，jidelvxingduyue。quzhudongzhuiqiuxiaobeichenba，xiangbanfarangtaaishangni。”
muziyan：“……ba，zheijiushiwomenzijirendeduyue，nizenmehaidangzhenleni?”
mutianhaobayipengjingzhidelanseyaojidijimuziyan，laoshenzaizai：“qujixiaobeichensonghuashiaiba。”
muziyanmudengkoudai，bukesiyidekanzhezijiafuqin。
“nirangwozhudongjixiaobeichensonghuashiai?!!”
开什么国际玩笑啊?
muziyankeshizhonghaidesandanvshenzhiyia。
pingshizhiyouwushuhaomengongzigezhuiqiutadefen，shenmeshihouzhudongquzhuiqiuguobieren?
mutianhaoxiaole：“zuoren，bunengyanerwuxin!nandaoniyaoshualai?”
mutianhaozhidao，zijiadenvershenmedouhao，jiushishengxingyaoqiang，chiyingbuchiruan……
muziyanqideyayangyang，zuihoufenranjieguomeiguihua：“suannihen!woxianzaijiuqujitasonghuaxingleba?!xianzaijiuquzhudongzhuiqiuxiaobeichen，xingleba?”
liuxiayijuhua，muziyancaizhegaogenxie，nazhemeiguihuafenranlikai。
她的脸都红了。
zhudongjixiaobeichensongmeiguihua?haizhudongqushiai?
羞死人啊。
womuziyanzheibeizihaiconglaimeizuoguozheiyangdeshiqing。
buguotameimouliuzhuan，fangfoxiadinglemougejuexinside……
陈春凉茶
作者：逍遥老剑客
栏目：都市
zuozhe：zuozhej7femj
栏目：都市
隐秘背叛，借力打力反击！
作者：落雪听琴
栏目：都市
作者：孤雁不自智
栏目：都市
夺命露营：我与同事娇妻被困帐篷，妻子却神秘失踪
作者：莓脾气旧故
栏目：都市
打包剩菜，送给“股东”夫人
zuozhe：zhenwuqishideshetianlei
栏目：都市
