《hebaiyueguangtaohunhou,tahouhuimoji》wenzhangxiedehao,qingjiebizhen,neirongganren,chuyanshenyujiangfengyundengrenwumiaoxiedeweimiaoweixiao,zheiyangdedoushishenghuoxiaoshuobeizhendabaixiedekanchengwanmei。zhuyaojiangdeshi:wodingzhezhongrenweiguanhouzisideshixian,langbeidezouchuhunlixianchang,yilushangpansuanzhedaodigaizenmeshoushicanju。……
kandaozhaopian,wofanerpingjingxialaile,youjiangyuanbendezhaopiantieleshangqu。
gongsigujiahuishengyiranchengshi,zaizheishihousipolianpijiubuhaowanle。
wojizhulifaquxiaoxirangtawenzhugujia,suijilianxilvshishangliangqisushiyi。
gangtanwanmeiduojiu,bengaisuizhechuyanlikaideshenyuqueyifanchangtaidehuilaile。
takandaowozaifangjianli,quexiangshisongleyikouqi,wenroudao:
「fengyun,wojiuzhidaonibuhuishengwodeqide,qishi,jintianwozhishipobudeyi。」
wozixiguanchatadeshense,talianshangdeweinanyuneijiushineiyangzhencheng。
ruobushigangcaikandaodezhaopian,tingdaozhiqianliangrendeduihua,wokongpayouhuibeitajingzhandeyanjipianguoquba?
buguo,wodaozhenxiangtingtingtaxiangzenmeyuanhuilai。
wobuzhehenjidetuikaitazhunbeibaoguolaideshou,zhijiantatanlekouqidao:
「chuyanhuanleaizheng,shiriwuduole,zheishitazuihouyigeyuanwangle,wozhishixiangmanzutadeyuanwang。」
huixiangqigangcaichuyanneishenglonghuohutiaoxinwodeyangzi。
得了癌症吗?
wobuyoudezaixindizichaoyixiao。
yuanlaishenyushizhendebawodanggeshazi。
buguoxianzaiyewusuoweile。
wohetabenlaijiushigequsuoxudeguanxi,jirantabawodanggongjuren,neiwoyemeibiyaoduitazaikeqile。
huiguoshenlai,wodandandao:「ng,wozhidao。」
shenyuwenyanlengleyimiao,fanwendao:「shenme?」
我认真道:
「meiguanxia,jirantakuaiyaosile,neibangzhujiangsizhirenshixianyuanwang,bushilisuoyingdangdema?」
kemeixiangdaowoshunzhetashuohua,taquezhoujinlemeitou,faneryouxieshengqidao:
「jiangfengyun,wobushizaigennikaiwanxiao,worenzhende。wohechuyanzhendemeiyoushenme。hunliwoyehuizaibujinide。」
我依旧平静道:
「buyongbuchang,woxiangxinnimen。」
benyiweitahuishuangkuaizouren,meixiangdaotaquexiandeyufajiaozao,zhengyaozaishuoshenmeshi,shouji**quexiangleqilai。
3
wozhidao,zheishichuyandezhuanshu**。
dengshenyutiantianmimidehechuyandawandianhua,zheicaihuixiangqilaiwohaizhanzaiwuli。
tayilianbuzizaidexiangwojieshi:
「chuyantabingqingbuwending,yishengshuoshunzhetashuohua,caihuiyouliyutadebingqing。nibuhuishengqiba?」
woxiaoleyixia:「zenmehuini?」
meixiangdaotaquemeitouyizhou,sihuyouxiechayi。
zhijiantashenhuxiyikou,qinnidewanzhuwodeshoudao:
「jiangfengyun,nibuyongpianwo,wozhidaonihaizaishengqi。nizhenshide,wozenmekenenghuiguangguzhechuyanerwanglenini。」
shuozhe,tacongbaobaolinachuyikuaishoubiao,shifenwenroudedaizaiwodeshoushang:
「zheishiwozhuanmenweinimaide**kuan,dangshiwokeshiweinipaileyitiandeduini。」
wokanzheshoushangguangjieruxindeshoubiao,ruguobushicengjingzaichuyandepengyouquankandaoguozheikuaibiao,wokongpacishiyouhuiduishenyuganjitilingba?
kexianzai,wozhijuedeexintoule。
qiniandeganqing,yuanlaishenmedoushijiade,shenmedoushichuyanyongguode。
jiulianmenkouneishuangbuhejiaodexiezi,yeshichuyandechima。
wolengjingdejiangshoubiaozhaixia,zheishiwodiyicibuyaotasongjiwodedongxi。
tayilianjingyadekanzhewo。
而我却淡淡道:
「buyongle,bushiwoxihuandekuanshi。」
shenyusuiranqiguai,daoyemeiyouhuaiyi,zhishishunqizirandezhuanyihuatidao:
「jiranzheiyang,neiwoxiacizaizhongxinbangnimaiba。duile,zhiqianwogennitiguode,rangchuyanshougounigongsideshiqing,shenmeshihouqianhetonga。」
闻言我心道:来了。
woshuozenmeturanhuilaijiwosongshoubiao,yuanlaishiweilecuicuwozheishier。
zhiqiangongsibinlinpochandeshihou,shenyuturantiyibagongsijichuyan,shuodaoshihouhainengrangchuyanjiwogefuzongdangdang。
keshishizhengming,yiqiedoushiduodewosuoyouzichandetaolubale。
jiranruci,neiwojiushunzhetadeyisiyouruhe?
xiangdaozheili,wobingmeiyouchuochuan,fanerpeihedao:
「neijiuxiazhouyiba。xiazhouyizhijieqianhetong。」
shenyuwenyandunshirouyankejiandekaixinqilai。
ketabuzhidaodeshi,yongbuleduojiu,tajiuxiaobuchulaile。
tashenzhihanjiandebaozhuwo,sajiaodao:
「zheimezhangshijianmeiyoupeini,niyidingxiangwoleba?jinwanjiupeipeinihaole,miandenishuowohoucibobi。」
woquelianmangtuikai,zhijieguanshangmen:
「jinwanwohaiyaozhunbeihetong,nizijishuiba。」
shenyuzhijielengzhu,fanyingguolaihou,naoxiuchengnudekuangkuangzamen。
zhidaochuyandezhuanshu**xiangqi,taguyidekailewaifang,dashengshuo:
「chuyanshima?ngng,haode,womashangqu。」
ranhoubadamenshuaide「pengpeng」xiang。
wozhidaotashizaidengwoquwanliuta,huozhedengwoquhetadachaoyijia,zaidafacibeideyuanliangwo,yiweichitadezhudaodiwei。
ketaxiangcuole,wozaiyebuhuiweitaditoule。
4
zhuanyandaolexiazhouyi,wogangyaotaruzongcaibangongshidemen,jiuchadianbeirengchulaideyixiangzidongxizagezhengzhe。
limiandedongxixianglajiyiyangsanluoyidi,zixiyikan,quanshiwode。
chuyancongwuneideyiyangyangdezouchulai,kandaowobiyiyixiao:
「nilaidezhenghao,zhenghaobanizheiyixiangzipolandaihuiqu。」
bangongshilidesuoyourenmudengkoudaidekanzhewomen,bumingbaifashengleshenme。
chuyancishiyingzhezhongrenbujiedemuguang,chixiaoyisheng:
「e,nishibushihaimeilaidejigaosutamena?neiwojiutinishuoleba。」
「congjintiankaishi,zheigegongsidezongcaijiushiwole,gongsibeiwoshougoule。」
shuowan,chuyanyijiaotazailuozaidishangdegongpaishang,jiangwodezhaopianhenhenyicai,qingmiedao:
「zenme,hetongdailailema?」
cishi,shenyuyecongwuzilizoulechulai。
takandaosanluoyididedongxi,bujinbubangwoshuohua,fanerquanwo:
「jiangfengyun,ganjinbahetongqianleba。」
「doudaozheigeshihoulenijiubiechengqiangle,yaobushikaozhechuyandebutie,gongsiyeliubudaoxianzai。」
kanzheliangrenyichangyihedeyangzi,woxinzhonglengxiao。
shenyuanxiangcaozuogongsigujia,toutouzhuanyigongsizichan,fanerpianwoshuogongsijingyingcandan,pianwobianmailesuoyoucaichan。
kemeixiangdaozheixiecaichan,yuanlaiquandoubeitabutiejilechuyan。
tashenzhihaiduiwoshuogongsikaozhechuyandekukubangchen,haoburongyichengdaoxianzai。
真是好手段啊!
yaobushiwozhiqiantingdaoliangrendeduihua,kongpadaoxianzaihaimengzaiguli,duitamenganjitilingzhe。
xinghaominruideshangyezhijuerangwoliuleyishou。
cikeyaobeisaodichumendebushiwo,ershitamen!
xiangdaoci,wobudongshengse,fanerzhudongtidangshishenyudayingdehua:
「jiusuangongsibeitashougou,nimenbushiyaorangwodangfuzong......」
wohaimeishuowanni,chuyanhahadaxiaoqilai,xiangshitingdaoleyigeshifenhaoxiaodexiaohua。
tadanshouchazheyao,shenqishizudao:
「nimentingting,tajuranhaiwangxiangdangfuzongni!」
zhongrenmangzhechigua,fenfennachushoujipaizhaoluxiang。
chuyangengshibaichuzongcaidejiashilai,yibaqianzhushenyudeshou,chaofengdao:
「jiangfengyun,woyaoshini,woxianzaijiugailimadaishangzijidepolanmabutingtidegunchumen,shuobudingwohainengshangnizaizheisaosaocesuo。」
「nikankanni,hunlichuile,nvyoumeile,gongsipochanle,zenmehuiyounizheimeshibaiderena?woyaoshini,wozhijiezhaogeloutiaoxiaqudele,nijuranhaiyoulianyaofuzongdeweizhi。」
众人哈哈大笑起来。
bengaiweiwoshuohuadexianglianqiniandenvyou,quekaozaitadehuailiyiyanbufa。
多么讽刺的一幕啊。
cengjingdangshangcaiwubuzhangdeshihou,takaozaiwohuailiwenroudenengdichushuilai,fashiyaoyibeiziduiwohao。
kexiaowohaichenjinqizhongbunengziba,sihaomeiyouyishidaozheiyiqiedoushiduowozichandexianjing。
erxianzaizhidaolesuoyoudeyiqie,wofanerbuzaiyourenhebodong。
甚至笑着问她:
「niyezheimejuedema?wocongloushangtiaoxiaquhuigenghao?」
shenyutongkongyisuo,zhangzhangzuixiangshuoxieshenme,querengjiuyaoyadao:
「jiangfengyun,nijiubiechengqiangle,bagongsijichuyannihainengdedaoyibiyanglaoqian。xianzaichengqiangyoushenmeyong?womenduinihaibugouhaoma?」
她终于原形毕露了。
jiranruci,neiwojiubuzhuangle。
wolengxiaoyisheng,jiangshoulideyidiewenjianrengdaotamenmianqian:
「xinga,neixianzaijiuqianhetongba。」
chuyanyilianshenglizhedeyangzi,dayaodabaidejiangwenjiandijishenyu:
「re,weilaidelaobanniangxiankan。」
erxiayimiao,shenyuquelengzhule,lianseshabai。
neinalishishenmeshougouhetong,yuanlaishiyifenfayuanchuanpiao!
jiezhe,yiqunbianyijingchajinruhuiyishi,nazheshoukaodashengdao:
「shenyu,nishexianfeifanuoyongzijin,xianzaisuiwomenzouyitangba!」
妻子迷上流浪猫,我提离婚后她悔疯了
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