niaolandekuailede《jingshenchuhu，wokao3suinverchengshoufu》demiaoxiezhanshilexuduoyixiangbudaodeyuansu，suimeitebiexinxianneirong，danshiyijiubuhuijuedelaotao。zhujiaoshitangrenwangshengfan，jiangshule：《danqinbabalingchendainvermaimantou，fendoushuyumeiyigeziqiangbuxideren！》《wojianguozuishuaiqidemaimantoubaba！》《ruguoyoudoufu……
《zhenjing！danqinbabadainverbaitanmaimantoubeicaishichangbaoanda！》
wangluozuibuqueshaojiushiwangluoduanzihebiaotidang。
tangrennapabeituidaozaidi，taneixinqishiyemeishade。
kexibeiwangluozheimeyipuguang，xingzhiwanquanjiubuyiyangle。
cishidefajiao，genbenchaochucaishichangbaoanhetangrendeyiliao。
paiduiweiguandegukemenjianciqingjing，gengjiaqifen，fenfenzhizecaishichangbaoandaren，yourenshehuizhilihaibodalebaojingdianhua。
jiuzaizheishi，zhengqiaoyoujingchadexunluocheluguo！
lejieqingkuanghou，jingchayeshierhuabushuo，jiangbeidadeguke、tangrenyijidarendecaishichangbaoandoudaihuilejingju。
zaidiaojieshili，linziyanzhengzhuanzhuditingzhetangrenduishiqingdejiangshu。
tashenzitingba，shengaoyimiliuba，qiadaohaochudeshenxingbili，chendejingfuyufayingqi。
zhaqidemaweisuizhetadedongzuoqingqinghuangdong，fasiroushunliangze，touzheyiguganlianjinger。
bujingyijian，tataiqitou，luchuyigetianmeidexiaorong，lianjiashanglianggeqianqiandexiaojiuworuoyinruoxian，shunjiandianlianglezhenggeren，chongdanlejingfuzidaideyansugan，fandaotianlejifenqinhe。
tadewuguanjingzhi，wanwandemeimaoxia，shiyishuangmingliangyoushendeyanjing，xiaoqilaishiwanchengyueyazhuang，manhanxiaoyi，rangrenyiyanbianxinshenghaogan。
tingzhidebiliangxia，zuichunweiweishangyang，neimoxiaorongdaizheshizudeganranli。
zhangxiangtianmei，shencaiwudi，xiaoqilaihaiyoulianggeqianqiandejiuwo。
警花无疑了。
zicongyoulexitongjiachi，tangrenzijiyejiumanmanshiyingle。
huoxuzheijiushizhujiaoguanghuanshiran。
meiyigehuanjielimian，kendingdouhuichuxianyoupiaoliangdenvzhu。
ruguozijishifanpai，neiduifangdagailvyeshiyaozijibeilveduodeqiyunzhidenvzhu！
啧啧啧。
真是无敌了啊！
linziyan，ershisansui，ganggangjiarujingduiyinian。
tingletangrendejiangshu，jiehetianwangjiankongdeyingxianghegukedeshipinzhengju，zhengmingletangrensuoshuodeshishiqing。
darendecaishichangbaoanyindarenbeichuyijuliu。
tangrenhegukebingwuguocuo，dangchangwuzuishifang。
“jiejie，nizhenpiaoliangya！”
“zheishiwobabazuodeaerbeisicaomeimantou，haohaochide，woqingnichi！”
likaijingjudeshihou，tangzishantongyanwuji，naqimantoujiudijilinziyan。
“xiexieshanshan，nizhenguai！”
linziyanzaizuobiludeshihou，dagailejietangrendezaoyuhou，xinlimanshitongqing。
youqishikandaotangrenhaidaizhenianyouquetianzhenkeaidenver，gengshiduolejifenlianmin。
yigenanren，beilaopopaoqijingshenchuhudaiwa，lianzufangzideqiandoumeiyou，zhinengzhucheshang。
zongnengjiqishanliangnvrenxinzhongdemuai。
jinguantangrenbuxuyaobierendetongqinghelianmin，danjiabuzhuzheigeshijie，shanliangyouaixinderenzongshihenduo。
linziyansongtangrenchujingjudeshihou，qingshengtixingdao：“tangxiansheng，chulezheimedadeshiqing，baishacaishichangguanlicengkendingduiniyouyijian，shenzhibupaichuhuizuochubaofuxingjing。”
“buguoninbietaidanxin，nidechezimeizaicaishichangnei，tamenmeiyouchufaquan！”
“yihouninengbuqubaishacaishichangbaitanjinliangbuyaoqule，shizaiyaoqu，jiuzailubianbai，biejincaishichang。”
“youshiqingkeyidiyishijiandadianhuabaojing，baishicaishichangguiwomensuoguanxia。”
“xiexielinjingguan！”tangrenganjidikanzhelinziyan，lianmangcongcheshangnachusandaimantou，zhenchengdishuo：“linjingguan，taiganxienimenle，zheishieryeguaiwo，jinimentianmafanle。”
“zheixiemantoushiwozijizuode，nimennaquchangchang。”
linziyanyikan，lianmangjujue，shuodao：“tangxiansheng，womenjingduishibuyunxunalaobaixingdongxide。”
“buzhiqiande，jiushiyidianxinyi！”tangrenshuozhe，zhijiebaozhetangzishanshangche。
linziyanshuodao：“yaobuwojiniqianba，wobunenghuailejingduideguiju。”
“linjingguan，haochidehua，xiacizaijiqian。shanshan，genjiejiezaijian。”tangrenshuowan，fadongqiche。
tangzishanduizhechechuangwaidelinziyanbaibaishoushuodao：“piaoliangjingchajiejiezaijian！”
linziyankanzhezheiduikeaidefunv，huixinyixiao；dankandaotangrenchelimanshixingli，youshiyizhenxinsuan。
huidaojingju，kanzhetangrenliuxiadesandaimantou，linziyanbujinyaoyaotou。
jingjulidejingchamenpingshigongzuomangliu，xianghuochesijiyiyang，sancanchangchangbuguilv，henduorenweidoubutaihao。
pingshichibaozimantouzheileimianshi，chiduolejiujuederutongjiaola，shizhiwuwei。
suoyi，dangtangrenbamantoufangzaizhuoshangshi，jingjulidejingchadouzhishilimaoxingdixiaolexiao，bingmeiyousheiyuanyidongshouquna。
jintianzaoshang，linziyanchuqindeshihou，yijingchiguozaocan，tayeganjuechibuxia。
“zheiliyousandaimantou，sheimeichizaocande，doukeyichia。”linziyannazhemantoufangzaiqiantaideweizhigongdajianalaichi。
“yo，mantoua，woaichi。”
jiuzaizheigeshihou，congwaimianchujinghuilaidefusuozhangzhaoyi，zhenghaomeichizaocan，jiandaomantoujiunaqilaiyige，yaoleyikou！
zheiyikouxiaqu，zhaoyideyanjingshunjiandengda，yuanbenhaiyouxiesuiyidebiaoqingbiandejiweizhenjing，hanhubuqingdihandao：“xiaolin，nizheimantounalimaide，zheiyetaihaochileba！”
shuozhe，youdakouyaoleqilai。
“zhaosuo，nijiushixihuanchimantou，yebuzhiyuzheiyangchuipengba！”pangbianyiweijingyuandaqudeshuodao。
“jiushi。yigemantou，hainenghaochidaonaliqu？”pangbiandejingyuanfuhezheshuodao。
“bushi……”zhaoyiyibianchi，yibianshuodao：“zhendehaochi，youcaomeideweidao，youyoujidannaixiang，haiyouneigeshenmetangdeweidao……jiushiouzhouneigeshenmeshan……”
“aerbeisishan！”linziyantuokouerchudeshuodao。
“duiduidui，jiushiaerbeisitangdeweidao，taihaochile！”zhaoyichiwanyige，youzhuaqiyigelai！
qitajingchajianzhuang，fenfentoulaihaoqidemuguang。
这不能吧？
henkuai，zhaoyilianchilesange。
zheiyixia，dajiadoubeizhaoyidefanyingxiyin，zheiyinggaibuxiangshizhuangde，yushiyourenjiurenbuzhunaqimantouchanglechang。
zheiyichang，budele，jingjulishunjianxiangqiyipianzantansheng。
mantoukouganxini，maixiangnongyu，haiyouyigudutedexiangtian，rangrenchileyigejiutingbuxialai。
erqiemeigerenchi，ganjuedounengchidaoershihuozhejiyizhongzuimeihaodeweidao。
“太好吃了！”
“tiana！weishenmeganjuexiangwomamazuodeweidao……”
“太不可思议了！”
……
meiyihuier，tangrendailaidemantoujiubeijingjulidejingchamenchideyiganerjing。
linziyanzhanzaiyipang，haimeilaidejifanyingguolai，jiuzhinengkanzhekongkongdedaizi。
buguo，tingzhetongshimenzanbujuekou，tayebujinduitangrendemantouchongmanlehaoqi。
dajiayibianhuiweizhemantoudemeiwei，yibiangenlinziyanshuodao：“zheimaimantoudelaobanshizainalikaitande，mingtianwoqumaiyidai！”
“buxing，woyeyaomai。womailiangdai。”
“下班就去买！”
linziyanshuodao：“tajintianshidiyicizuomantoumai，jiuzaibaishacaishichangmenkou。”
“buguochulejintiandeshiqing，gujitabuhuizaiquneilibaitanle！”
linziyanyoudianshanggandeshuodao，cishi，tazhengkanzhedouleshangmiandeduanshipin。
zheishigangcaizaijingjuzuobilu，weitangrenzuozhengmeiyoudarendeguketigongdezhengjuzhiyi。
《zhenjing！danqinbabadainverbaitanmaimantoubeicaishichangbaoanda！》
《lingchensidian，hanfengzhong，danshenbabadaizhenverzaicaishichangmaimantou！》
kandaoshipinlimiantangrenzaibaitanyaohe，nvertangzishanzaicheshangshuijue！
houlaibaoanchulaiganren，jieguotangrenbeituidaozaidi，tangzishanpuzaitangrenhuaizhong，shuobuyaodawobabadeshihou！
linziyangenxuduowangyouyiyang，doushangganyanjinghonghongdeluoleile。
gangcaizuobilu，taqiangrenkezhizijideganqing，xianzaitangrendaizhenverlikaile，tazhongxinzaikanzheshipindeshihou，jiurenbuzhuluoleile。
shenzhigangcaizuobiludeshihou，tagentangrenyouliaotian，ourandezhitangrenqianqishixianqitangrengongsipochan，yincipaofuqinv，genyouqianrenpaolule。
xiangdaozheili，linziyanzijinaobu，jiuganjuetangrengengkelianle。
“meishia，xiaolinnibushiyoutadianhuama？jitadagedianhuawenyixiajiukeyile。”
“jiushi，rangtazhijiesonghuoguolaidoukeyi，womendajiayiqiding。”
“duiduidui，dabulerangtajiaopaotuisonghuo，womenchupaotuifei……”
……
jingjuli，dajiadouzainiyiyanwoyiyudeshuozhe，quefaxianlinziyanyizhimeiyoushuohua，yanjinghonghongde，haoxiangzaiku。
zhaoyijiulengzhule，shuodao：“xiaolin，nizenmekule？”
linziyanganjinmoleyixiayanlei，shuodao：“zhaosuo，wo、wo……”
“kanshenmeshipina，nengrangnizheimeshanggan，wokankan……”
zhaoyikanzhelinziyanyizhinazheshoujizaikan，yushijiuyaoqunalinziyandeshouji。
“shipinlidezheigenanren，jiushijintianmaimantoubeidadeshimin！”
“tagangganglihun，jingshenchuhu，danshendaiwazhucheshang，lingchensansidianzaicaishichangmaimantou……”
linziyanbashoujidiguoqu，jieshideshuodao。
“**！caishichangzheiqunwangbadan，hujiahuwei，zuoweizuofu，bixuyaobatamenjuliusantian！”zhaoyikanzheshipin，fennudeshuodao。
nianjidale，youeryounvderen，kanbudezheige。
youqizheihaishijingjuzijichulideanjian，zheidongxijuebukenengyoujia。
qitaminjingtingdaozhaoyizheimeshuo，yefenfenpaoguolaikanshoujishipin！
yikan，meigerenxinzhongyeshichongmanlefennu！
tamenshijingcha，yeshishanliangdefumu，huozhefumudehaizi，kandaotangrenhanxinrukuzijidaiwa，shuicheshang，lingchenmaimantouzhuanyidianxinkuqian。
jieguobeimanhengdeshichangguanlibaoanjiquganouda，zheishizaitaiqirenle。
genghekuangzheishiqinghaifashengzaizijisuoguanxiadexiaqu！
zhentaniangde，bixuyaoguanguanzheixiexiaozhangdebaoan！
“xiaolin，nilianxizheiweimaimantoudedageba！woduomailiangdai！”
“duiduidui，woyeduomailiangdai！”
“buyongtasonglai，rangtajiaopaotuisongguolaijiuxing！”
“yebuyongtachukuaidifei，huodaofukuan！womenchukuaidifei。”
“zheigekeyi！”linziyancaleleishui，xiangdaotangrenbaitanmaimantouburongyi，jingjulidajiagentamaimantou，yeshibangzhuta！
tangrendoumeixiangdao，zijimantoujingranhuiyiwaizaijingju“zouhong”。
作者：池鱼小月
栏目：都市
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作者：方方爱吃番茄
栏目：都市
我上岸月球那天，前女友考研上岸
作者：常向上
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我给死人化妆的亲身经历
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栏目：都市
江总，你的白月光是赝品
zuozhe：aichichaotianmiantiaodejiangqing
栏目：都市
