xiandaiyanqingxiaoshuo《liyanyouyu》，shiyouzuozhe“youwu”jingxindazaode，shuzhongdeguanjianjiaoseshiyuniaojiyanli，xiangqingjieshao：wogangcaihetahaiyouhunhunduihuashi，haoxiangdoushizhengchangde！neiyisishimianduinannvzhu，caihuishuochuleisizoujuqinghuozheweichi……
礼宴有虞
wobeinanzhukunzaileqiangjiao，tazhaolaidejigeliumangzhengchaowobijin。
woqingleqingsangzi，xianggaosuta：fanglewo，wohuiqujiutuihun。
kewoshuochushengdequeshi：「yangege，nibunengzheiyang，nizhinengshiwode！」
1
wochuanchenglepowendeedunvpei。
wochuanguolaishi，yuanzhuzhengzaijiuhuishangjinanzhulengyanxiayao，beijiaoruanbailiannvzhuzhualegezhengzhe。
lengyanbawokunzaileqiangjiao，jiaolaihaojigeliumangzhunbeijiwosuoweidechengfa。
wolengjingdixiangyaohetamentantiaojian，keshuochukoudequeshi：「yangege，nibunengzheiyang，nizhinengshiwode！」
说真的。
woshuowanshi，renyijingmengle......
haoexin，woxiangshuodemingmingbushizheige！
lengyanniwo，buxielengheng，「nixiangdoubiexiang！wogaosuni，woxinlizhiyoumianmian！erbushinizheigexiazuonvren！」
tahuailidebaimianmiantingwan，tianzizidizaitahuailiyingyingying。
weihunfuweileweihunqijiadenvpu，yongzuizherunvxingdefangshi，zhaorenqiruhaomenweihunqi。
zhenshidianfusanguan，kanshudeshihoujiujuedeexin。
我不死心地再开口：
nizheishifanzui，ruguobuxianglianleinijia，jiuganjinfanglewo！
kechukoudeyoushi，「yangege，zheigenvrennalipeideshangni？nibuyaowo，wojiusijinikan！」
yue——
我又打了个干呕。
jiujiuwo，jiujiuwo，woyoubing。
shenqian，lengyanyilianxianqidichaoneiqunhunhunshiyanse，erhoulouzhebaimianmianqulegebifangjian。
woduizhetabeiying，nuhou：
**！
「岩哥哥～」
yue——
zheigounanren，woyaoshinenghuoxialai，juebufangguota！
2
wokanzheyanqianyiqunbuhuaihaoyideliumangweiyuanzhugandaobeifen。
shuzhong，yuanzhudejiejujiushizaizheilibeizheixierenqiruersi。
quanshenwuyikuaihaoroudeshentihaibeirenpaixiadengzuotoutiao。
eryuanzhudedidiyeshinvzhudequnxiazhichen。
tabuweizijiajiejiebaochou，fandaoyinxiaonvpuaiwujiwu，hongdefumufangqizhuijiuzeren，haijiangnvpushouzuoyinv。
gebixiangqilebukemiaoshudeshengyin。
wolifushangdejiandaituranbeirenchexia。
womeiwanghousuobanbu，taitoulengyankanzheqianmianderen，「tajinimenduoshaoqian，wojinimensanbei。」
hunhunmenhuxiangkanleyiyan，lingtouneirenchixiao，「jiupingni？」
woshenxiyikouqi，jinliangbaochilengjing，「nimenbangwo，quebuzhidaowoshisheima？」
「wojiaoyuniao，achengyujiadeyuniao。」
「pingshenmexinni？」lingtoudehunhunyouxiedongyaole。
「duniangshangyouwodexinxi，nimenkeyijiwofumudadianhua，rangtamennaqianlaishuwo，zheiyangnijiyouqian，yebuhuiyoumafan，womenjiayoutouyouliande，buhuiwangwaishuo，gengbuhuibaojing。」
「danniyaoshixiangxinlengyande，wofumubuhuifangguonimen，lengyanyebuhuiguannimen。」
tingwanwodehua，zheiqunhunhunbeiguoshenqutaolunlexujiu，zuihouyiyaoyanalaileshouji。
woshiyihunhunjiekaishouwanshangdeshengsuo，yicibodaleyuanzhufumudehaoma。
jieshiwurenjieting......
wokanzhehunhunlianseyuelaiyuenankan，ejiaozhimaolenghan。
zhongyuzaidijiucitonghuashibaihou，woxiangdaolelingyigeren。
shuzhongweiyibuxihuannvzhudechaojidafanpai！
yuanzhudezhumagege，jiyanli！
jibaheyuanzhubashihaoyou，yuanzhumabenlaishixiangrangyuanzhujiajiyanlide。
danyuanzhuqueweilelengyanyaosiyaohuo。
yuanzhumajuedelengyanmentingyeshishuyishuerde。
weilefangzhiyuanzhujiangshiqingnaodetainankan，zheicailiyonghezuo，rangyuanzhuyulengyandinglehun。
3
dajijiyanlidedianhuarangwomeixiangdaoshi......
对方秒接，「谁？」
wojidongdizuozhileshenti，jiachulewozheibeizizuidiadeshengyin：「yanligege～shiwoya！niaoniao。」
......
dianhuaneitouweizhengliangmiao，sangyinyayade，「biefadia，haohaoshuohua。」
yipangdehunhunkanwomeiyong，yibaqiangguoleshouji，「tingzhe！nidexiaobaobei，beiwojibangle，kuaidaiyibaiwanlaishuta，yaoshibaojingbieguaiwosipiao！」
dianhuaneibianderenhenlengmo，huayindandan，「nimenzhaocuorenle。」
dingzhehunhunchirendeyanshen，wojimanghuifuzhengchang，dashengrangrang，「biea！jiyanli，woyaozhenchushi，womawenqi，nizenmejiaodai？」
jiyanlixiaole，yuqidaizheyisiliangbo，「niquzhuiqiuzhenai，wojiaodaishenme？」
！！！
wohuaiyijiyanlikanjianlewojinanzhuxiayaodeshi！
tajintianbuyezaijiuhuishang！
「aiya！yanligegewuhuile！tahegegeshiduijia！woxiayaoshiweilerangtamingshengsaodi，woyutadinghun，yeshiweiledaruneibuwajieta，niaoniaocongxiaozuixihuandeshigege！」
wodeqiyanbeitayaxiaolebushao，zhinengyingzhetoupifazhedialuanbailuanche。
pangbiandehunhuntingwan，tanlekouqi，zhiyaotou，「nvrendezui，pianrendegui。」
dianhuaneibiandejiyanliqingchilesheng。
「e？shijiandaogege，jiuzhuizhegegedadexihuan？」
......
「dashiqinmashiaima！」woshanxiaozhe，qianqiangyinghua。
yuanzhuxiaoshihouqueshihejiyanlichuchubuduifu。
bushizhuizhetada，jiushiku。
jiuzaiwotanteshi，duifangdayingle。
wojiushuoma，zheitaitoubujianditoujiande。
4
jiyanlilaidehenkuai，zhiyonglejifenzhong。
genzhetalaidehaiyoujingcha，zheiqunhunhunmeishenmeshuiping，qingeryijujiubeinaxia。
shihou，wozuozaijiyanlidefujiashishang，tuozhesai，dingzhetafadai。
nanrendanshoudazhefangxiangpan，celianzaihunandeguangxianxiaxiandegengjiajunyi。
wobuzhidaoyuanzhuyouzheiyangdezhumagege，shizenmekanshanglengyande。
nandaonvpeidexinzhudingshinanzhude？
jiyanlisibeiwodingfanle，tataiqiyizhishou，qingdanwodeetou，「kanshenme？」
「gegehaokan。」wowuzheetou，piantouxiaozhe。
jiyanliwozhefangxiangpandeshoujiangyingleyishun。
tatiaoletiaomei，sibujingyijianwen，「wohaokanhaishiniyangegehaokan？」
这就比上了？
wominchunqianxiao，coujinta，keyiyadileshengyin，「shenmeyangege？zhiyouyangege，yangegezuihaokan。」
jiyanlichedilengzhule，zhiyoujiemaozaiweiweizhandong。
taturanqingxiaochusheng，yuqisanman，「heng！xianzaidaoshizuitian，mingtianyoushibierendegenpichong。」
他在内涵我？
woshenzitanleguoqu，baozhutadegebosajiao，yanjingzuozuodizhabazhaba，「yihouzhizuogegedegenpichong。」
jiyanlidingzhewoxiaodeyiweishenzhang，yindiaoyonglandaisiweixian，「zheikeshinishuode。」
woweilengliangmiaodianlediantou，xiaodecanlan。
kaiwanxiao，wobabudezuodalaodetuibuguajian。
jiyanlikeshishuzhongnanzhuzuiqiangdadeduishou。
jiusuandaoledajieju，shigenanzhujiaqilaidoumeinengzaitashenshangzhandaobianyi。
等等！
wogangcaihetahaiyouhunhunduihuashi，haoxiangdoushizhengchangde！
neiyisishimianduinannvzhu，caihuishuochuleisizoujuqinghuozheweichirensheerkoushixinfeidehua？
5
「woheniyiqijinquba，shunbianbaifangyixiabofubomu。」
jiyanlibangwokailechemen，danshouchadou，yuqiziran。
woxiaozhedianlediantou，zoudaoqianmianweitadailu，quebuxiangbeijiyanlikuaibuchaoguo。
tazaiwojiakezhenbukeqi，genguangzijiahouhuayuanside。
kedengwomenzoudaodatingqian，wojingdaile。
baimianmiankezhenbukuishishijianguanlidashi，tajuranbiwoxianhuilai！
he！neishibushidaibiaonanzhubuxing？
neiwokebunengyao，buxingdenanrensheiyaoa？！
狗都不要！
baimianmianzuozaiwodeweizhishang，wofumuhedidizhengreqingdiweitajiacai，xiangtanshenhuan。
yishijianjingwurenfaxianzaoyizhanzaimenkoudewo。
wurenguanzhujinwansilitaoshengdewo......
wokendingshishouleyuanzhuqingxudeyingxiang，bizihaosuan。
wotuchuyikouqi，pingfulexiaqingxu，shangqianliangbu，daduanletamenwenxindeyimu。
「bama，nimenjinwanzenmebujiedianhua？nimenzhibuzhidaowo——」
「jie！nizenmehuilaile？！」
didiyuxiaofaxianwohouzhanleqilai，chayidao。
quanjiadeshixianzhongyufangzailewodeshenshang，wohaixiangzaijixushuo，quebeiyuxiaozaicidaduan，「jie，kuaiguolaichifan。」
wokuaibuzoudaozhuobian，shixiancongbaimianmianshenshangsaoguo，fachuyishenglengxiao，「chifan？wonayouweizhichifan。」
6
wohualidechaofengtaiguomingxian，yipangyufuyumudebiaoqingdoubiandebutaihaokan。
womeiguantamen，yijiuguzhizhejixugangcaidehuati，「nimenjinwanweishenmebujiedianhua？」
yumuhuanhuanzhanqishen，youxiebuzhisuoyi，「shiyuxiaoshuonijinwanzaijiubawandadianhuadeyouxi，dianhuatongle，nijiushule，tarangwomendoubuyaojie。」
酒吧？玩游戏？
可我从来不去酒吧。
wojiangshenshidemuguangfangzaileyuxiaoshenshang。
shibasuideshaonianzangbuzhushi，tadizhetou，yanshenpiaohubugankanwo，henmingxiandexinxumoyang。
zheiyisijiushitazhidaojinwandeshiluo？
「he！yuxiao，nihaizhenshiweileqing，weileai，dayimieqina！」
womingmingshixiaozhede，shengyinquelengdeshengshuang。
yufuyumumanlianmangrandizaipangxunwenwofashengleshenmeshi，eryuxiaorouyankejiandiyuelaiyuejinzhang。
wonizheyuxiao，lengxiaochusheng，「jinyewobeilengyanjibangle，zheichunhuoweilegexiaonvpu，jingranhuangbaowozaijiubawanyouxi。」
yumulazhuwodeshou，yanlubujie，「shenmenibeilengyanbangle？zheigenmianmianyouyoushenmeguanxi？」
womeiduoshuo，lengyankanxiangyibianzuozhefadaidebaimianmian，yinyangguaiqidao，「youxieren，tianshengfurenming，mingtianqijiubuyaolaishouleileba。」
7
baimianmianzhongyuhuiguoshen，mengditaitou，xingyanliyiranhanlelei，「**......zheishiwoshenghuoweiyidelaiyuana！wodaodinalibuhao......」
he！nishuoninalibuhao！
xianzaikanlai，zheigeshuzhongdanchunshanliangdenvzhujiaobujiandanna！
meirenluolei，ziranyouaimuzheanfu。
erwozheigedaozhimeirenluoleidezuikuihuoshouquezaifadai。
gangcai，wohaoxiangmeiyoushoudaoshenmeqiangzhijuqing。
nandaoshiwobensechuyanle？
「nisuanlaoji？niganrangmianmianzou！」
wocaiganghuishen，jiukanjianyuxiaochongdaowomianqian，hongzheyishuangyanjing，haoxiangyaochilewo。
「pingwoshi**，tashinagongziqueguo**shenghuodenvpu！」
wodeqingxuhenjidong，buzhishiweiyuanzhubaobuping，haishizenme。
qishiyuxiaozuikaishihenguaiqiao，xuexichengjihenhaoyuyuanzhudeguanxiyehenhao，haijideshuzhongshuo，xiaoyuxiaozanlehaojinianlinghuaqianjiuweilejijiejiemaigebao。
yuanzhuyeshibulunzuoshenmedoushixiangzhezheigedidide。
danzicongyuxiaoqunianwuyizaifangjianzhuangjianlezhengzaixizaodebaimianmianhou。
shaonianrendenaozijiumeile......
taxinggebiandeguailihenla，meirigenzainvzhushenhou，bushitaoxuejiushiweilenvzhudajia，yuyuanzhurijianshuyuan，xianzaishenzhixiangweilegenvpuhaisizijideqinjiejie。
woyebuzhidaoweishenmeshenweinvpudebaimianmianhuizaishaoyedefangjianxizao。
kenengyansewenyiqiedejuqingdoushiweilerou，luojijuqingdoubuzhongyao。
「nishi**，laozihaishishaoyeni！zheigeyujiaweilaideweiyijichengren！laozixianzaijiurangnigunchuyujia！」
weilemeiren，yuxiaozhilengqilaile，tazhizhewonuhou，haiyaoshanglaibalawo。
yipangshalengdeyufuyumuzhongyufanyingguolai，shangqianlanzhulefakuangdeyuxiao。
kewoquenuhuogongxin，meilelizhi，lunyuanshoubeijileyuxiaoyibazhang，「meidameixiaodedongxi！bierenchiguodekangyancaiyejiunihuizhuizhetian！」
8
一巴掌过后。
woqishiyeyoudianhouhuile，wosibeiyuanzhudeqingxuyingxiangdetaida，chongdongle，zheige
guoranyufuxintengle，zhuanguotoulaichizewo，「nizenmenengdanididi！」
yumuyeshizhoujinlemeitou，「niaoniao，nishuodeyetainantingle，nvhaizimingshengzuizhongyao，nididihaoburongyiyujiangexihuande，nijiubunengxiaotingdian？」
tingwan，wohaoburongyihuifulediandelizhiyoumeile，wochidunxujiucaikaikou，「nizhidaotaxihuannvpudeshi？nibushizuikanzhongmendi？」
yumuhuibiwodeyanshen，zhizhiwuwu，「mendishizhongyao，danrenpincaishidiyi......」
yuanlaiyumuyizhidouzhidao，xianglaikanzhongmendideyumu，jingniaiyuxiaozhici。
yeshi，ruobushizaojiuzhixiao，zenmehuiyouyikaishineiwenxindeyimu。
「kejinye——」，wohaixiangshuo。
「jinyenibushimeishima，lengyanyejiushigenninaozhewandeba，zaishuole，zheihemianmianyoushenmeguanxi，mianmianshigehaohaizi。」
yumuyifukukoupoxindemoyang，tashenzhijuedewoguyiweinanbaimianmian。
好孩子......
zheijiushinvzhudeguanghuanma？
dengyumuzhidaobaimianmiantajiaotashitiaochuanbudefeng？
jinye，daoshiwobudongshi，xianggetaotangdexiaohaizijiqiezhetaoyaoyigegongdao，quewangleyuanzhudefumuzhongnanqingnv。
zheicishiwodecuo，yihoubuhuile。
youxieshi，haishidezijizizu，jiranzheiyang，neiwoxianzaijiuxiangkantamendalian，buguofenba？
wotaiqixiaba，yiziyidundao，「baimianmiankebuzhiyigenan——」
jiuzaizheiyishunjian，yuxiaotizhehuapingchaowochongleguolai。
花瓶碎了一地。
youyigerenjiangdailengdewobaozaihuaili，tiwodangleyiji。
wozhengkaiyan，kanjianjiyanlitaizhedeshoubeishangbeihuachubushaoshanghen。
jiyanliquehaobuzaiyidiroulerouwodetou，tayanweiyitiao，xiaodeyundanfengqing，「gandebucuo，haohaizi。」
taxizhangdemeiyanxianglveguochunshuideyanwei，liaobodewoxinshangyiji。
tazaiyibiankanduojiule？tadeshoubei——butengma？
zhenshi——dalaodedatuihaimeibaoshang，fandaorangdalaokanlexiaohua。
9
jiyanlifangkailewo，jiangwohuzaishenhou，lianshangdexiaoyibudayandi，shuochudehuabisheidouao。
「lingzidejiaoyangyeshirangwanbeiwojianleshimian，shibasuilegenmeinaoziside，haishideduoguanjiao、duodudushu，biejiuyitianxiangzheyuduorentongchiyiwanfan，tongqiyiliangche......duozangna......」
jiyanlituozhangleweiyin，xiaodemanbujingxin，yiweibumingdeyanshenzaibaimianmianheyuxiaoshenshangyoulibuting。
yufuyumutingbudong，neierrenquexinzhiduming，lianseyouqinankan。
tebieshibaimianmianyaoyaoyuzhuididiaozheyanlei，jihuyaohunjueguoqu。
yufudelianseyechenlexiaqu，jiachoubaibairangrenkanlexiaohua，haibeiwanbeishuluo。
danzheixienian，jijiazaoyiyuanchaoyujia，erjiyanligengshiyiwowenlejijiashiquan。
zhishizheizuibashizhendedu......
erwozaijiyanlishenhou，xintiaoquekongzhibuzhudijiakuai。
yuanlaibeirenhuzheshizheizhongganjue......
neibianyufuzouguolaixiaodejiangying，duizhejiyanlilianliandiantou，xuhanwennuan，「yanlishuodequeshimeicuo，bofurihoudingyanjiaguanjiao，buzhinifuqinzuijinshentizenmeyang？」
jiyanlisuiyibainonglexiashoushangdeshoubei，manyouyoudikaikou。
「wobazuijindeshentihaolebushao，tahewomahailaoshiniantaozheniaoniao，rangwoyoujihuidainiaoniaohuiquzhujitian，peipeitamenni。」
yufudeyanshencongjiyanlideshoubeishanglveguo，ganjinxiaozhejielehua，「neijiuhao，neijiuhao，zhishiyanlinishangdebuqinga。」
yufukanxiangwofenfu，「niaoniaonidaiyanliqubaozhayixia，mingtianshoushishoushiqukanwangnijibo。」
wohaimeilaidejihuihua，jiyanliwozhuwodeshou，yuqixiansan，queyoudaizheburongjujuedeqiangshi。
「buruxianzaijiuhuiba，jijiayousirenyisheng。」
啊？
rangwoyiqihuijijia？？？
wohaiyiweijiyanlizhishiweilejiwochengyao，suibianshuoshuodeni。
woxiaoshengtaotao，「wohaimeishoushidongxini......」
「womenjiashenmedouyou。」jiyanlicoujinwo，shengyinshayafuguowodeerpan。
wozenmeganjuetabiwozheigebaodatuidehaiji？
10
womenhuidaojijia，yijinghenwanle。
danmeirangwoxiangdaodeshi，jifujimumeiyoushuijue，fandaozhunbeileyizhuozicaizaidengzhewomen。
yongronghuaguidefurenmiandaixintengdichaowohuilehuishou，「niaoniaokuaiguolai！ezheleba？」
wokuaibushangqian，baozhulejimu。
kanzheyanqiandemeifurenwomeiyoujushu，gengduodejingshiqinqieheshouleweiquhouxiangyaoqingsudesuanse。
kenengshiyinweiyuanzhuxiaoshihou，changnizaijimushenbiandeyuanyin？
cishidewoyiweishiyuanzhuliuxiadeqinggansuishiyingxiangzhewo，quemeixiangdaohoulai......
jimupailepaiwodeshoubei，lazhewozaipangbianzuoxia，「xianchifanba，jintiandeshiwomendoutingshuole，nijiarenzuodedoubudui，yihoushouleweiquzhiguanhebomushuo。」
jimuhuayingangluo，wodewanlijiuduoleyizhixiaren。
wotaiyanwangqu，shizuozailunyishangyiyanbufaqueyandaigulianweidejifu。
womenmendidianlediantou，zaiyujia**shimeiku，xianzaiyanleidaoshipadadadidiao。
jiyanlizuodaowodeshenbian，tiexindiweiwoshuqizhangfa，haishibushidiweiwocaquyanlei。
woxinliyinuan，lenglengdiwangzuilisaizhecai，renyoutabainong，zhidaojimuqingxiaochusheng。
tayandaixinweidichongjifudaqudao：「yanlihuiguanxinrenle，neimeduonian，taduiwozheigemuqindoumeizheiyangguoni。」
jifukanleyanwoliang，yexiaozheyingheleju，「erzizhangdaluo。」
wolianjiaweiweifahong，youdianhaisao。
wohaimeixianghaozenmejiehua，neibiandejimuyouyanjingyiliang，「niaoniaodangchukeshibomuzuixinyideerxifu，buruniaoniaojiujiajiyanlima，yihoudouzhuzaizhei，buhuinixiayandemaneishouqi。」
不愧是反派的妈！
wanquanhushilewoyouweihunfu......
zheixiabieshuolianle，wodeerjiandouzaifatang，wozaizhuoxiamengchuojiyanli，xiangrangtabangmangjiegehua。
kejiyanliqueyouyadijiaochazheshoubei，haozhengyixiadikanzhewo，shiyiwozijijiejue。
zheinanrenkezhenshi......
womeihaoqididengletayiyanhou，ditoutuchukouqimocengleliangxia，zaitaitoushiwochongzhejimuxiaowanleyanjing。
「好啊，伯母。」
刚光顾着害臊了。
zheisongshangmendedatui，bubaobaibubao。
zheicihuantamenjingyale，jiulianjiyanlidouxianxiebeiqiangzhe，tamenhaosimeixiangdaowohuijiuzheimedayingle。
寂静过后。
jifujimuxiaozheyigejingdiniantao：haohaohao！
jiyanlicoudaowodemianqian，weimizheyanshenshiwo，siyazhekaikou，「buhouhui？」
wokanzheta，jiandingdidianlediantou，erhouguoqubaozhejimudegebosajiao，sajiaozhiyuwohaichongjiyanlisongquleyigewink。
zheidatui，bubaojiushiwosha。
zheishuaige，bushuijiushiwoxia。
爱不爱的无所谓，我只想用他的钱，养他的娃
zuozhe：suisuiniandedaxiaojie
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订婚宴上，他为白月光求我捐肾
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他选天选之女，我觉醒灭世系统
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