他碰我一下，自己倒大霉九条命猫爷-著

小说简介

《tapengwoyixia，zijidaodamei》shiyibulingrenxindongdeduanpianyanqingxiaoshuo，youjiutiaomingmaoyeqiaomiaogousi。gushijiangshulewangzhenbanglilizaiyiciourandeshijianzhongtashangleyiduanwujindemaoxianzhilv。wangzhenbanglilijiangmianduigezhongweixianhemiti，bingjieshileyiqundaoyiheyouyidehuoban。tongguozhihui、yongqiheyili，wangzhenbanglilizhujianfaxianlezijidezhenzhengshiming，bingweizhifendoudaodi。songkaile。zhenggerenxiangbeiwuxingdejuchuiyingmianzazhong，mengdixianghouliangqiangbanbu，neizhangbaoyangdeyidepanglian，xianshizhangchengzhuganse，jinjiezheyouyirouyankejiandesudutunqu……jiangdailingduzhetansuoyigechongmanjingxihegandongdeshijie。

精彩章节

1younizongjiandejingtianxiangpihuiyishilengqikaideshizu，chuidewohoujinghanmaodaoshu。

touyingyideguangshuzaimubushangtouxiabinglengdecaiwushujuquxian，kongqilizhiyouwangzong——wangzhenbang，

womenbumenzheiweixinshangrendezongjian——neiguzuochenwen、shizezhannidesangyinzaihuidang。“……suoyi，xiaolina，

”neishengyinturanzhuanxiangwo，daizheyizhonglingrenbushideqinniwendu，xiangzhanleyoudeshepaguopifu，

“zheigejidudeshichangfenxibaogao，shinizhubideba？nianqingren，henyouxiangfama！”wotaiqitou，

zhengzhuangshangtaneishuangxizhangyanjinglihaobuyanshidedaliang，younidejihunengguaxiaerliang。tazhanqishen，

raoguozhangzhangdehuiyizhuo，pixiecaizaiditanshangfachuchenmendeshengxiang，yibubuchaowozheibianduoguolai。

suoyourendemuguang，huotongqinghuomamuhuoxingzailehuo，douruoyouruowudipiaoxiangwozheigegangruzhiyueyudexinren。

nongzhongdegulongshuiweihunzheyidianyanwei，doutouzhaoxia。

taneizhibaoyangdeguofenbaixi、zhijieshangdaizheshuodajinjiezhideyoushou，

jiqizirandifuzailewofangzaizhuomiandezuoshoushang，ranhoumengdiyinie！lidaobuqing，

daizheyizhongxianideshitanheburongzhiyidezhangkong。“yihoua，”taweiweifushen，coudegengjinlexie，

zhuorede、daizhekafeiweideqixipenzaiwoerkuo，shengyinyadile，quezuyirangzhouweijizhuoderentingjian，

“genzhewanggehaohaogan，qiantudadadeyou！wanggejiuxihuannizheiyangcongmingyou……biaozhidenianqingren。

”neizhishoufeidanmeiyousongkai，fanerxiangroumiantuanside，younieleyixia，

zhifushenzhiyouyiwuyidizaiwoshoubeishangcengleceng。yiguqiangliedeexinganmengdichongshanghoulong。

fennuxiangshaohongdeluotietangzhewuzangliufu，xueyeshunjianchongshangtouding，erduoliwengwengzuoxiang。

wojihunengtingjianzijiyachiyaojindegezhisheng。choushou？zheilao**xianrandengzhewofankang，

haojiwokouge“bushitaiju”、“buzunzhonglingdao”demaozi。ren？zheikoueqiduzaixiongkou，jihuyaozhakai！

jiuzaizheijizhidequruhefennuchongkualizhidibadeshunjian，

yigewubiqingxi、daizhexuexingqideniantouzaiwoxindipaoxiaozhezhakai，gaiguoleyiqieshengyin：**“nie？！

zheimeainieshiba？youbenshiniechugejingtiandongdidedaxiangpilai！zuihaozainiaogekuzi，

rangquangongsidoukankannizheifuzunrong！”**zheiniantoueduyouhuangmiu，chuncuishijuewangqingxuxiadezuzhou。raner，

jiuzaizheigeniantouqingxishanguode**xiayimiao**——“pu——————！！！

”yishengshipotianjing、youzhanghunhou、jijubaofalihechuantoulideyixiang，

haowuyuzhaodicongwangzhenbangshenshangbengfachulai！neishengyinshirucituwu、rucixiangliang，

shunjiangaiguolehuiyishilisuoyoudediyu、jianpanqiaojisheng，shenzhigaiguoletouyingyifengshandewengming！

shijianfangfobeianxialezantingjian。kongqininggule。wangzhenbanglianshangneizhideyiman、zhangkongyiqiedeyounixiaorong，

xiangliezhideshigaomianjuyiyang，“kaca”yisheng，chedijiangsi、suilie。taniezhewodeshou，mengdiyiduosuo，

songkaile。zhenggerenxiangbeiwuxingdejuchuiyingmianzazhong，mengdixianghouliangqiangbanbu，neizhangbaoyangdeyidepanglian，

xianshizhangchengzhuganse，jinjiezheyouyirouyankejiandesudutunqusuoyouxuese，biandecanbairuzhi。

taxizhangdeyanjingdengdeliuyuan，yanzhuzijihuyaotuchulai，limianshengmanlewufazhixinde、miedingdejingkong。siji。

jueduide、lingrenzhixidesijilongzhaolezhenggehuiyishi。jishishuangyanjing，qishuashuadijujiaozaiwangzhenbangshenshang，

meiyidaomuguangdouxiangtanzhaodeng，zhaodetawusuodunxing。ranhou，gengkepadeshiqingfashengle。

taneishenbitingde、jiazhibufeideshenhuisexikukudangbuwei，yirouyankejiandesudu，

xunsuliekaileyipianshensede、buduankuodadeshihen！shenhuisedebuliaobeiyetijintou，yansebiandegengshen、gengchen，

shuizidebianyuanhaizaihuanmanerjiandingdixiangxiamanyan……yigunanyiyanyudesaoshanqiwei，

jiqiweiruoqueyouwubiwangudi，kaishizaibinglengdekongdiaofenglimisankailai。

“e……”buzhishisheihoulonglifachuyishengduancude、yayidaojizhideguaiyiyinjie，xiangbeiqiazhulebozi。

“huala！”wangzhenbangpangbianyigenvtongshishoulidebidiaozailezhuoshang，gunluozaiditanshang，fachuchenmendeshengxiang。

zheishengyinxiangshiyigexinhao，dapoleneilingrenzhixidesiji。“puchi……”jiaoluoli，

buzhishisheizhongyumeirenzhu，xieluchuyishengjiqiduancu、youfeikuaibeiqiangxingyanhuiqudexiao。zheishengbiehuiqudexiao，

xiangtourugunyoudeshuidi，shunjianyinbaoleyayideqifen。zhenggehuiyishixiangshibeiwuxingdeliliangtuileyiba，

所有人都在动，

jibende、jiazhuangjuliekesoude、shoumangjiaoluanqugoudishanggenbenbucunzaidebide、shenzhiyourenhuangbuzeludiqishen，

yizituiguacadibanfachucierdezaoyin，

zuiliyuwuluncidishuozhe：“wo、woqugexishoujian……”changmianyipianhunluandeganga。

wangzhenbangxiangyizunbeichouzoulesuoyougutoudenisu，jiangzaiyuandi，mianwurense。tazuichunduosuozhe，

sihuxiangshuoshenme，xiangjieshishenme，xiangpaoxiaoshenme，danzuizhongzhifachujishenghaowuyiyide“he…he…”qiyin。

taxiayishidixiangjiajinshuangtui，keneidongzuozaizhongmukuikuizhixiazhixiandegengjialangbeiheyugaimizhang。

tademuguangsaoguoyizhangzhanghuogangaduoshan、huoqiangrenxiaoyi、huozhenjingmamudelian，zuihou，

neiyuandudecuileduzhiyiyangdeyanshen，sisididingzailewodelianshang。neiyanshenlichongmanlekongju、jizhidexiuru，

haiyouyisifengkuangde、wufalijiedekunhuo，fangfozaizhiwen：shini？！yidingshinigaodegui！womengdidixiatou，

xinzangzaixiongqianglifengkuangleigu，jihuyaozhuangsuileigutiaochulai。bushikongju，

shiyizhongjudade、huangmiude、jihuyaochongpohoulongdekuangxihezhenjing！wosisiyaozhuzijidexiachunneice，

yongjinquanshenliqicaibaneijijiangchongpohoulongdebaoxiaoyaxiaqu，jianbangquekongzhibuzhudiweiweizhandou。

2zuzhouchengzhendekuangxilaotianye！neigezuzhou……neigehuangmiujuelundeniantou……tachengzhenle？！

jiexialaidejitian，wangzhenbangqingle“bingjia”，jushuoshizaijia“xiuyang”。

bangongshilimimanzheyizhongguiyideqingsongqifen，chashuijianliqieqiesiyudeyinliangdoubipingshidalejifen。xiaoli，

zuowoduimiangongwei、shuzhewanzitoudeguniang，chenglewodeshouxi“chiguabobaoyuan”。“aiai，linweinizhidaoma？

”taduanzhekafeibei，shenmixixidicouguolai，yanjingliangjingjingde，“tingshuowangzongneitianshibeijiuhuchetaizoude！

heyunguoqule！”“caiwubudexiaozhangshuo，xingzhengjinjicaigoulehaojipingqianglikongqiqingxinji，

chadianbabaojieayidouxunyunzaihuiyishi！”tahuishenghuise，mofangzhebaojieayiniebizidedongzuo。

wopeihediluchujingyadebiaoqing，neixinquezaifengkuangshuadanmu：【jiuhuche？taikuazhangleba！】【qingxinji？

huogai！xunsitayade！】biaomianquezhishijiaodongzhebeizilidegouqijuhuacha，dandandi“e”leyisheng。raner，

fengbaoqiandepingjingzongshiduanzande。yizhouhou，wangzhenbanghuilaile。xizhuanggelv，toufashudeyisibugou，

shenzhipenlegengnongdegulongshui，shituyangaishenme，yeshituzhongxinshulishenme。dansuoyourendounengganjuedao，

youshenmedongxibuyiyangle。takanrendeyanshen，youqishikanwodeyanshen，yinzhidexiangshicuiledudebingzhui，

daizheyizhongfengkuangdepianzhi。tadebaofulaideyoukuaiyouhen。xianshiyoujian。

yifengcuociyanli、chongmananshixingxiurudegongzuoyoujianzhijieshuaijinwodeyouxiang，

zhutishi“guanyujinqimouxieyuangonggongzuotaidusanmanjizhuanyesuyangqueshidejingshi”。limianmeiyouzhimingdaoxing，

danmeiyigezidouxiangcuidudezhen，zhaxiangwozheige“dailaibuxiang”、“yingxiangtuanduifenwei”dexinren。

tazhizewo“xinsifuzao”、“nengliyugangweiyanzhongbufu”，shenzhiyingsheworuzhi“shouduancunyi”。

wokanzhepingmushangneixieedudeziyan，nuhuozaicixiongxiongranshao。shouzhixuanzaijianpanshang，

feikuaiqiaoxiayixingfanbo：“wangzong，qingjiyushishipingjiagongzuo。sanmanhesuyangqueshidezhikonghaowuyiju，

qingzhichujutishili。guanyuruzhiliucheng，wanquanfuhegongsiguiding，huanyingsuishixianghrheshi。

”qiaojihuichejianfasongdeshunjian，neigeqiyideganjueyoulaile——yizhongweiruodedianliugancuanguozhijian。

jihushitongshi，yigefengkuangdeniantouqingxidizainaozhongshanxian：【zheifengchengqingyoujian，

zuihaoyuanfengbudongdi、yizibuchadi，qunfadaoquangongsimeiyigerendeyouxiangli！

rangtazijichangchangbeidangzhongbianshideziwei！】“dingdong！”“dingdong！”“dingdong！

”wodiannaoyouxiajiaodeyoujiantixingtubiaohaimeifanyingguolai，zhenggekaifangbangongqu，

ciqibifudeyoujiantishiyinshunjianxiangchengleyipian！xiangyichangturuqilaide、hunluandejiaoxiangle。suoyouren，

baokuoqiantaixiaomei、baojiedashu、gebibumenwanquanbushudetongshi，shenzhibaokuodingloudedalaoban，

douyiliancuoedikanzhezijidiannaodanchudexinyoujiantishi——fajianren：wangzhenbang。

zhuti：guanyujinqimouxieyuangonggongzuotaidusanmanjizhuanyesuyangqueshidejingshi（huifu：linwei）。youjianzhengwen，

heranshiwoganggangxiedeneifenyizhengciyandefanbo！yizibucha！ergengjuedeshi，

youjianjiluqingxidixianshizhewangzhenbangzuichuneifenchongmanrenshengongjideyuanjian！wodehuifu，xiangyijixiangliangdeerguang，

jinsuiqihou，shanzaitazijifachudeeduwenzishang！“si……”daoxilengqideshengyinzaisizhouxiangqi。

wushudaomuguang，daizhejinge、tanjiu、leranhehaobuyanshidekanxiyiwei，

qishuashuaditouxiangwangzhenbangdedulibangongshifangxiang。touguoneishanmeiguanyandemoshabolimen，

woqingxidikandaolimianneigefeipangdeshenyingmengdiconglaobanyishangdanleqilai，

xiangyitoubeijinuyoukunzailongzilideyeshou，jiaozaodilaihuiduobu，shuangshouhenhenjiuzhezijidetoufa。

tachongdaodiannaoqian，fengkuangdidianjishubiao，shituchehui，danneixianranshitulao。

tamengdiyiquanzazaiangguideshimuzhuomianshang，fachuyishengchenmendejuxiang。【hahahahaha！chehui？

zuomengbaninna！youjianyidu，jietuyicun！】woxinlidexiaorenxiaodeqianyanghouhe。mianshang，

wozhishiduanqibaowenbei，manyouyoudichuikaipiaofudegouqi，heleyikouwenredechashui，

yaxiajihuyaoqiaoqilaidezuijiao。wangzhenbangchedifengle。tarendingwoshitadezaixing，

yigeyong“xieshu”ketadeyaonie。

yanyushangdexiaodongzuotazanshibuganle（dagaipazaichushenmebukekongde“yiwai”），

dangongzuoshangdedayahegouxian，bianbenjiali，wusuobuyongqiji。

wodegonglaobeitadeqinxin（yigejiaolili、yewunenglixilandanhenhuipaomeiyandeguniang）mingmuzhangdandiqiangzou。

huiyishang，wotichudefanganbeipideyiwenbuzhi，zhuantoujiubeitahuangeqiaozijiaojililiquzhixing。zuiexindeshi，

tashouyililiheqitajigemazi，kaishizaibangongshisanbuguanyuwodeyaoyan。“tingshuolema？tanengjingongsi，

shishuishanglaide……”“zeze，kanzheqingchun，shouduanlihaizheni，buranwangzongzenme……”“litayuandian，

huiqi！kelingdao！”zheixieedudeqieqiesiyuxiangduchong，zaigezijiandefengxilipaxing。xiaoliqideliantonghong，

toutougaosuwo。wopailepaitadeshoubei，shiyitabiechongdong。fennuma？dangran。danxindishenchu，

yizhongbinglengdezhangkongganheyinmideqidaizhengzaifengkuangzizhang。

wokanzhewangzhenbangneizhangyinweijihenhekongjuerniuqudelian，neixindanmufengkuanggundong：【qiangba，gouxianba，zuoba！

wodaoyaokankan，nihainengbazijizuosidaoshenmechengdu！fandan，laidegengmengliexieba！】jihuihenkuailaile。

bumenqingzhuledaliangxinxue、youwozhudaogenjinjinbanniande“tianhongkeji”hezuoxiangmu，

zhongyudaolelinmenyijiaodeguanjianshike。hetongxijiequanbuqiaoding，zhidengshuangfangqianzi。

zheishiyigezuyidiandingbumenquannianyeji、rangcanyuzhelvlizengguangtiancaidedadan。wangzhenbangchushoule。

tayijiqiqiangyingheburongzhiyidezitai，zaixiangmuzuhuiyishangxuanbu：“xiaolinjingyanshangqian，

zheimezhongyaodeqianyueyishi，haishixuyaogengyou‘fenliang’derenyazhen。lilizheiduanshijianbiaoxianhentuchu，

houxugenjinheqianyue，youtaquanquanfuze！”huiyishiliyipiansiji。suoyourendoumingbaizheishi**luodeqiangjie！

lililianshangshiyanshibuzhudedeyihetiaoxin。wangzhenbangzeyongyizhong“woshiweinihao”dexuweiyanshenkanzhewo，

zuijiaoguazhecanrendehudu。wozuozaineili，zhijiashenshenqiajinzhangxin，jihuyaoqiachuxuelai。banniandexinxue，

wushugejiabanderiye，jiuzheimebeiqingpiaopiaodiduozou，weijiyigezhihuisaoshounongzidecaobao！

quru、fennu、bugan，xiangyanjiangyiyangzaixiongqianglifantengbenyong。【wangzhenbang！】wozaixindiwushengdisihou，

meiyigezidoucuizheduhuo，【nibushixiangyaozheigexiangmuma？hao！wosongjini！

liantongnineixiejianbudeguangdegoudang，yiqidabaosongjini！zheifenhetong，zuihaobianchengshaosinideneibahuo！

shaodenishenbaiminglie，yongshibudefanshen！】neiqiangliede、zhixiangmingquedezuzhouniantou，rutongwuxingdejianshi，

henhenshechu！3yinyanghetongdepuguangqianyueyishianpaizaisantianhou，gongsizuidadeduogongnengting。

shuijingdiaodengguanghuacuican，hongtanpudi，xiangbintazaidengguangxiazheshechuyourendeguangze。

tianhongkejidedaibiaotuanyijingluozuo，gegexizhuanggelv，qidubufan。wangzhenbangmanmianhongguang，youtoushudezengliang，

tingzheduzi，xiangzhizhideyimandeqie，zaitaishangfabiaozhereqingyangyidejianghua。lilichuanzheyishenyansudehongqun，

jinjingenzaitashenhou，lianshangshijidonghejinzhanghunhedechaohong。wozuowei“qian”xiangmufuzeren，

beianpaizaizuijiaoluodeweizhi，lengyanpangguan。wangzhenbangjiangwan，lundaoshuangfangjiaohuanzuizhongquerendehetongwenben。

lilishenxiyikouqi，nazheyigeupan，zouxianglianjiezhedapingmudediannao。tadeshouyinweijidonghejinzhang，

weiweizhandou。【**qu！kuai**qu！】woxinlidexiaorenwushengdinahan，【rangneibahuoshaoqilai！

】lilijiangupancharujiekou。dapingmushang，wenjianmuludanchu。