《zuokonghuaerjie，wozhenbushigushen》cishuzuoweidawangqiudetangyuandeyibendoushishenghuoxiaoshuo，qingjiequzheqiefengfu，ticaixiangduixinying，diedangqifuzhideyikan。zhuyaojiangdeshi：“made......”tadishengzhoumaleyiju，shengyinlichongmanlepibeiheyizhongnanyiyanshuodejiaolv。tashenshourouleroufazhangdetaiyangxue，ganjuenaodailixiangshiyouwu……
第11章
“tingshuolema？zheiboxingqingxialai，zanmenzheierhaoxiangyoujigedixiongxintaibengle，zhijieliaotiaozibugan，dilecizhixin，renmeile。”
bangongshili，yourendishengjiaoliuzhezuixindebagua，kongqizhongmimanzheyisiruoyouruowudexiaoyanwei。
“he，zheizhongshier，shichanglishenmeshihoushaoguo？”
lingyigeshengyinjieleqiang，tingbuchuduoshaobolan，fangfozaoyisikongjianguan：
“zanmenshinashujuyucegujia，meicuo。keshuobaile，zhennengbazheiwanyiersuandefenhaobuchade，neishishenxiandelingyu！jiuyinweizheidianbodongjiuxinshenbuning，jiaoyishishoujiaofaruan，neiqueshiburuzaodianchoushendehao。”
touzi，guigenjiedi，jiushiyichangxinzhiyudinglidejiaoshazhan。
不知是谁曾说过。
zheipangdadegupiaoshichang，benzhishangjiushiyiguoaozhuzherenxingtanlanyukongjudedazahui。
shierdiankuangruyehuoliaoyuan，xijuanyiqielizhi；
shierkonghuangsibingheguojing，dongjiesuoyouyongqi。
duoshaokanzhejiushigekongqiao、caibaolandaojiadegongsi，gujiapiannengyifeichongtian，dingpotianhuaban；
youyouduoshaojiadihoushi、wenrulaogoudeqiye，gujiaquepazaidishang，bansibuhuo，rangrenkandebiequ。
zheiyiqiedouwushengdizhaoshizhe：
qudonggujiaqifude，wangwangbingfeigongsibenshendeyingshili。
gengduoshihou，pingdeshishiqingxu，shimengxiang，shitanlan，yeshikongju！
zheirenxin，jiuxiangfengzhongdeluwei，piaohubuding，cuiruoshanbian。
zaizheimegebianhuanmoce、renxinguijuedechangzilisihun，tangruolianzijidefangcundoushoubuzhu，neigenbenmeizigezuoshenmezhengquan。
youqishitamenzheizhong，meiyifenzhong、meiyimiaozhongdejuecedoukenengjuedingshengsidesimujiaoyiyuan，gengshiruci。
xinjingshaoyoupozhan，bianshiwanjiebufu，yiniantiantang，yiniandiyu，bandianbuyouren。
dongshizhangbangongshinei，fanghuantouzidezhangduorenhuangfengwen，taiyankanxianggangcaihuibaodexiashu，shengyintingbuchuxinu：
“dianchibankuaineitanzishier，chulihaole？”
“shi。jijingbozhe，zongsuanshijishizhisunle。”xiashulianmanghuiying，yusujiakuailexie，
“shichangqueshiduitufaxiaoxifanyingyoudianguodu，houlai，xiaoxibeishichangwanquanxiaohuayihou，paomopomiedeyebijiaokuai。dangran......sunshihaishimianbuleyouyixiede。”
“nengzhisunzaizheigechengdu，jiujishichoushen，yijingshiwanxingle。”
huangfengwenyuqidanmo，shouzhiwuyishidiqiaojizhehongmuzhuomian，fachuchenmende“dudu”sheng。
“nikankanrenjiameiguoshichang。neibiancaijiaoyige**，zhangdiedoumeigebianer，shangbufengding，xiabubaodi，neicaijiaozhenzhengdejiaorouji！”
genguoneineibangtongxingweishouweiweibutong，huaerjieneiqunelangwandegengfeng，zuokongshijiachangbianfan。
renjianeibian，guizegengkuangye。
yidanpanduanshiwu，caicuolejiezou，bengguannizhiqianduoniubi，gongsiduoda，kenengyejiushi“sou”diyixia，lianrendaikuchadoujiniyangle，zhijiehuifeiyanmie。
neili，meiyouguoneizheizhongdanrizhangdietingbanhuzhe。
shengfuyingkui，quanpingbenshi、danliang，yiji......neixuwupiaomiaodeyunqi。
huangfengwenzhangzhangdiyuchuyikouzhuoqi，ganjueshentilidegutoudoukuaisanjiale。
tazhenggerenxianghouzhongzhongditandaozaikuandade、jiazhibufeidelaobanyili，bozihouyang，naodaikaozaiyibeishang，yanshenyouxiefangkong，zhengzhengdiwangzhetoudingcanbai、binglengdetianhuaban。
dengguangcidetayanjingyouxiefase。
fanghuantouzi，zheisouyoutaqinshoudazaodezhanchuan，zhengyiqiansuoweiyoudesuduchengfengpolang，chaozhedingjisimudexingliegaogemengjin。
gongsizhengzhengrishang，shitouhenmeng，feichangmeng，waimiankanzhefengguangwuxian。
keyueshizheiyang，taxinzhongneigurulvbobingdeganjuejiuyueshiqianglie。
meiyibu，douxiangshicaizaidongrijiebingdehumianshang，nengqingxiditingdaojiaoxiachuanlai“gezhigezhi”de、lingrenxinjidexiweisuiliesheng。
tazhidao，zhiyaoshaoyoubushen，yigeweixiaodeshiwu，jiukenengrangzheikansijiangudebingmianshunjianbengta，jiangtahetadezhanchuanyiqituorubinglengcigudeshenyuan，wanjiebufu。
gushizheiguidifang，shuotashimoguidelunpandudousuankeqide！
niouxinlixue、xinxinkukudaqilaidejinzita，kenengjiuyinweiyigedadun、yigeshouhua、yigeyuchundejuece，zaiduanduanjifenzhongshenzhijimiaozhongzhinei，hongrandaota，suidelianzhadoubusheng！
“made......”tadishengzhoumaleyiju，shengyinlichongmanlepibeiheyizhongnanyiyanshuodejiaolv。
tashenshourouleroufazhangdetaiyangxue，ganjuenaodailixiangshiyouwushuzhimifengzaiwengwengzuoxiang。
“denghuierbixudedaliangbayouxi，buranzheixinjingbuxialai。”
zhiyouzaineigexunide、keyisiyisisha、kuaiyienchoudeshijieli，xianshizhongzheixiechendiandiande、jihunengyakuarendejiaolvheyali，cainengzanshibeipaodaojiuxiaoyunwai。
zhei，jiushitachenmiyouxideweiyiliyou，yeshitajizijizhaode、weishubuduodejianyafa。
chuanxi，huozheshuo，shiduanzandetaobi。
raner，niantouyizhuan，yigeshenyinghaowuzhengzhaoditiaojinletadenaohai。
“yebuzhidao......suhao，neixiaozixianzaizenmeyangle。”
huangfengwendemeitouxiayishidizhouleqilai，neishigerangtayouxietoutengdemingzi。
shuobuxianggaoshenmeteshuzhaogu，neishiziqiqiren。
xiangwanquansashoubuguan，genbenbuxianshi。
sheirangzheixiaozishitaqinzidaguozhaohu、dingzheyali，minghuanghuangyingsaijinlaide“guanxihu”ni？
xiamianneixierenjing，nagexinlimeidianshu？
weici，tahaiteyidingzhuguozijidemishu，rangtaduoliuyiyixiasuhaoneibiandeqingkuang，yaoshiyoushenme“fengchuicaodong”huozhe“teshuqingkuang”，diyishijianxiangtahuibao......
笃笃——
jiuzaizheishi，bangongshidemenbeiqingqingqiaoxiangle。
“huangzong，nengjinlaiyixiama？”
e，zhenshishuocaocao，caocaojiudao。
shimishudeshengyin，yongyuanneimebubeibukang，bolanbujing。
huangfengwenzuozhilexie，qingleqingsangzi，lianlelianxinshen：“jinlai。shenmeshi？”
mishutuimenerru，shoulinazheyifenbobodewenjian，zoudaobangongzhuoqianzhanding：
“a，shiguanyusuhaodeshiqing。ninzhiqianbushifenfuguo，yaoduoliuyita，ruguoyoushenme......ng，“teshuqingkuang”jiuxiangninhuibaoma？”
huangfengwenxinlimomingdi“gedeng”leyixia，yigubutaihaodeyuganyongleshanglai：
“ng，shiyouzheimehuishi。zenme，neixiaozirehuole？”
tanaozilishunjianshanguojigeniantou：
是跟同事打架了？
haishibuzhitiangaodihougendingtoushangsidingzhuangle？
buxianga......neixiaozikanzhetingjiling，yetinghuilaishier，suiranyoudianqingse，danbuxiangshineizhongmeinaozideciertou。
zaishuo，yigegangruzhimeijitiandexinrenjiaoyiyuanzhuli，nengtongchuduodadelouzilai？
mishujiangneifenwenjianqingqingfangzailehuangfengwenmianqiandezhuomianshang。
huangfengwenhuyidijieleguolai，muguangsuiyidiwangwenjianshangyisao。
然后......
tadetongkong，mengdiyisuo！xiangshibeizhenzhaleyixia！
meitouyemengdiningleqilai。
“dengdeng......zhei、zheitamaxiedeshishenmewanyier？”
tadeshengyindouranbagao，daizhenanyizhixindejinge，“zhengshijiaoyiyuan？suhao？zhuanzheng？”
wenjianshangdeneirong，gentagangcaidecaice，jianzhifengmaniubuxiangji。
mishuyijiubaochizhezhiyehuadepingjing，weiweidiantou：
“shide，huangzong。zuijinlizhidejiaoyiyuanbijiaoduo，weilejishitianbukongque，gongsineibujuedingcongbiaoxiantuchudexinrenzhongtibajiwei。suhaoxiansheng......jiuzaizheicidejinshengmingdanshang。”
“wo——tama！”huangfengwenchadianmeibashoulideneizhangzhizhijieniechengyituanfeizhi！tamengditaiqitou，yanshenxiangshiyaopenchuhuolai：
“zheibanghunzhangwanyiershinaozibeilvtile？haishijitifafengle？”
yigegangruzhi、liankxiantudouweibirenqingchudexiaozi，zhijietibachengyonggongsizijincaozuoshipandejiaoyiyuan？
开什么国际玩笑！
tachadianjiuyaopaizhuozi，rangrenbafuzezheijianshidejiaoyibuzongjian、haiyouneigegaisidezhouyi，mashang，jiaodaobangongshilai！
劈头盖脸地骂一顿！
dan......tataidaoyibandeshou，youyingshengshengtingzailebankongzhong。
“......budui。”
tamiqileyanjing，yanzhongdenuhuojianjianbeiyizhongfuzananmingdeguangmangsuoqudai，naoziyiqiansuoweiyoudesudufeikuaizhuandongqilai。
xiamianderen......
tamenbukenengbuzhidaosuhaoshitahuangfengwensaijinlaideren。
youqishizhijiefuzedaisuhaodeneigezhouyi......
gujizheiduanshijian，riziguodexiangdangjianaoba？
tiantianduizhezheimeyizunbeijingbuming、shenqianbuzhide“dafo”，shigaixiaoxinyiyidigongzheni？
haishijiazhuangbuzhidao，gongshigongban？
shigaitoutoumomodijidianteshuzhaogu，xiandezijihuilaishierni？
haishigaibuwenbuwen，miandeyinhuoshaoshen？
gujishichoudetoufadoukuaibaile，jiaojinnaozhi，caixiangchuzheimege“quxianjiuguo”、kansihuangtangqueyouyongxinliangkudefazi，laishitanzijidetaidu？
zhiyuneigezuizhongqianzipizhunzheifenzhuanzhengmingdandejiaoyibuzongjian......
heng，gujiyeshichuaizhemingbaizhuanghutu，xinlizhibudingzenmemaniangni！
danmeibanfa，sheirangzheirenshitahuangzongsaideni？
huangfengwenzuijiaogouqiyimozichaodekuxiao：“buzhidaogaizenmeban，keyizhijiepaolaiwenwoa......”
kezhuannianyixiang，yigejiaoyibuzongjian，babadipaodaotazheigedalaobanmianqian，xiaoxinyiyidiwen：
“huangzong，ninzhiqiansaijinlaideneigeguanxihu......daodishishayisia？womengaizenmesihouzhe？”
zheihuamian......xiangxiangyequeshigouhuaji，goudiurende，taibushangtaimian。
“nei......huangzong，nindeyisishi......？”
mishukantaliansebianhuanbuding，xiaoxinyiyidikaikouqingshi。
huangfengwenbailebaishou，lianshangdenuqiyijingwanquanxiaosan，querdaizhideshiyizhongwanweidebiaoqing：
“suanle，jiuzheiyangba。suitamenqu。”
“a？”mishuxianranchileyijing，“jiu......jiuzhenderangtajinshengchengzhengshijiaoyiyuan......？”
“哎，没办法。”
huangfengwenkaohuikuandadeyibei，rouleroumeixin，shuangshoujiaochafangzaifubu，yuqixiandeyouxiewunai，youyouxielisuodangran：
“zheishier，shuodaodi，guaiwo。dangchumeibahuashuotou，jiuzheimebuqingbuchudibarenrengxiaqu，xiamianderenhuicuoyi，gaochudianyaoezilai，yezhengchang。”
tashenzhizaixinlijuede，zheiyang…sihuyetinghao。
歪打正着了属于是。
zhenghao！jiujiezhezheigejihui，rangsuhaoneixiaoziyitouzhajinzheipianbojueyungui、xueyuxingfengdeshichangli，yongzhenjinbaiyin，kegumingxindichangyichang，touzizheiwanfan，daodiyouduometangzui！duomeluoya！
rangtabeixianshihenhendichoujigeerguang，sihu…yebushishenmehuaishi。
fanzheng，neixiaoziduitouzi，liangepidoubudong，chunchundemenwaihan。
neigezhouyibatatibashanglai，nandaozhenshizhiwangtalimajiunengkangqidaliang，chongfengxianzhen，weigongsizhuanquchaoelirun？
扯他娘的蛋！
wufeijiushizuogezitai，jitahuangfengwenkan：
“ninkan！ninderen，wokeyidiandoumeikuidai！zhijiejitibachengzhengshijiaoyiyuanle！gouyisiba？”
huangfengwenxinligenmingjingside，xiamianrenzheidianwanwanraorao，tahainengbuqingchu？
“neigezhouyi，xinlikendingyoushu。”tadandandiduimishushuodao，
“zhenjinbaiyindecaopanedu，tanaganzhenjiaodaosuhaoneixiaozishoushang？gujiyejiushiguagemingtou，xiangzhengxingdijidianxiaoqianrangtalianlianshou，jidajiazuozuoyangzibale。”
“zheishierjiuzheimedingle。nini，jixujiwodingzhetaneibiandeqingkuang，youshenmedongjing，suishihuibao。”
“shi，huangzong。”mishugongjingdiyingdao，qiaowushengxidituilechuqu，qingqingdaishanglemen。
bangongshili，zaicihuifulejijing。
huangfengwenzuijiaogouqiyimobuyichajuede、daizhedianequweidexiaoyi。
tajihuyijingnengxiangxiangdao，suhaoneixiaozi，zaiturantingdaozijibeitibachengzhengshijiaoyiyuanshi，huishizenyangyifumudengkoudaidebiaoqing。
yigeliankxiantudouweibinengrenquandechunzhongcainiao，turanbeigaozhiyaozhendaozhenqiangdiqugancaopanle......
hahaha，bumengbicaiguai！buheniaokuzijiusuantadanerfei！
然后呢？
duobanshishoumangjiaoluan，yuntouzhuanxiang，duizhehuahualvlvdepingmuyitongxiacaozuo，ranhoubaneidiankeliandeedukuidedikudoubusheng。
daoshihou，zheixiaozikendinghuikusangzhelian，chuitousangqi，juedetiandoutale，duibuqigongsi，gengduibuqitazheiweihuiyanshizhu、jiletatiandajihuide“gonghuihuizhang”。
嗯......
dengdaoneigeshihou，zijizai“qiadaohaochu”dishanliangdengchang！
xianggezhenzhengde、dongxiyiqiedelaodageyiyang，yongyizhongyundanfengqing、youbaojingcangsangdeyuqi，paipaitadejianbang，yuzhongxinzhangdishuo：
“meiguanxi，nianqingren。chengzhangdelushang，xuefeizongshiyaojiaode。zheidianxiaocuozhe，busuanshenme。”
a！duomewanmeidejuben！
zhei，caishiyigetasuhaoxinmuzhong，neigewusuobuneng、rushenyibancunzaide“huizhang”gaiyoudeqidu！gaiyoudefengfanma！
huangfengwenxiangdaozheili，xinqingmomingdishuchanglexuduo。
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