第2章 男人使用手册第二条

《nanrenshiyongshouce》diertiao:nanrenyishengyoujidajieduan——xiangdie,kengdie,xiangdangdie,xiangdanggandie。suoyinvrenjiusuanjizuolaopoyouzuoqingren,jizuoganmayouzuogannver,yemanzubuletanlandenanrenmen。zhaokeyuanzidanbadiqiushangquanbunanrenyijumiediao,huoxuhaigengrongyixie。

celinexujueduishibenshizuiniudegongguanjingli,shengripaiduidezhenzhangsihaobushurenhedawan,youyouguifuyouqingtigongshanbianbieshu,zheishixuzhaodizuiaideshengsequanma、jiuchiroulin,danweileanweigangshiliandehaoyou,xuzhaodifangqileneixiezhichuanyongkuyuweiqundenanmoshiyingshengmen,hegushengnandengyizhongjiemeiduozaiyongchibiandezhangshafashang,baozhezijiadegougou——yitiaotizheyingtaoxiaowanzifaxingdeguibinquan,yibianshunmaoyibianbadangshijiudianzhuojiandeqingjinghuishenghuisedimiaoshuyibian,zuihouzongjiedao:“exinrennengexindaozheikongqianjuehoudedibu,shuweibuyi。”

shengripaiduiyanranchenglenanrendetaofadahui,dansihuzaizuodenvshimendoushifenxihuanzheigeyiti,gegedoubaoyuandebuyilehu——zhichulexuzhaodilingyibianzuozhedeneigechuanzhefensexizhuangdenanren。

xuzhaodixiefenxizhuangyiyan:“gaoquanan,nishuonimennanrenzenmedouzheimetaoyan?”

fensexizhuangdenanrenyouyadinaqijiubei,xiangbuyuanchuneiyongku、weiqunjiashendenanmopaolegemeiyan,zaizaixukongzhongpengyipengbei,zheicaimanyouyoudihuida:“xuzhaodi,nibugaijiaowoweiweian,woshibuhuilinide。”

xuzhaodicengyouyirenmubiaoduixiangjiushibeiweiweianchenggongbaiwanhoujiqiaozoude,jibianruci,yesihaomeiyingxiangdaogushengnan、xuzhaodi、weiweianzheitiesanjiaodeyouqing——dangranzuidadeyuanyinshixuzhaodicongbuquemubiaorenwu,beiwazouyigeeryi,yidiandaaidoumeiyou。


xuzhaodipiepiezui,chiyikougushengnanzuodedangao,anweizuozailingyibian,yizhimenmenbuledegushengnan:“zhuneigejiannanxiabeizizuozheyideweishengjin。fangxin,xiayigejueduihuigenghao。”

gushengnanchentouyitan:“woyijingbuxiangtanlianaile。”

heneinanmogekongdiaoqingdeweiweianjingyizibuluodibazheilianggenvrendeduihuatinglejinqu,gushengnanhuayinyiluo,tabianxiexieyixiao:“pangshiyigehenhaodetuoci,shuodehaoxiangshoulejiuzhendenengyouduohaokanyiyang;nianqingshigehenhaodetuoci,shuodehaoxiangchengshulezhihoujiunengyouduodachuxiyiyang;buxiangtanlianaishigehenhaodetuoci,haoxiangxiangtanlianaideshihoujiuzhendenengbeikanshangleyiyang。”

gushengnanbeishuluodedangjidaodibuqi:“nijiubiedajiwole……”

xuzhaodidengweiweianyiyan,yuanbenjiguibinquanshunmaodeshougaierlaishungushengnandetoufa:“bielita,tadedusheyijingwuyaokejiule,nixianzaidedangwuzhijiyebushiquxiangxiayicilianaihuizenyang,ershixiangxiangyihougaizenmeheneiduigounannvgongshi。douzaiyigejiudianshangban,taitoubujianditoujiande,jueduigeyingsini。”

gushengnanzheicaizhaodaoledianshuohuadeliqi:“qianjigeyuebushiyoujiazijingjiudianxiangwawotiaocaome?wozheicibuxiangtiaoyedetiaole。”

xuzhaodixiangxiang,queyouqishi,ke——“wotingyipengyoushuozijingjiudianneibuchuxianlehendawenti,zheiyiliangniandouzaikuibenjingying。nizhiqianbushiweilenengheneijiannanduodianxiangchushijian,batamendeyaoqingjijuleme?wojiumeibazheixiaoxigaosuni。”

“xiaoxizhunbuzhuna?”gushengnanxunsizhebujiuqianneilietouhaidaitaqucanguanguozijingjiudian,shifenfulitanghuang,erqie——“tamenjiwoxinshuikaizheimegao,yidianyebuxiangshizaikuibenjingyingdeyangzi。”

xuzhaodisicunpianke,youxiexinxudixiaoqilai:“woneipengyouhaishuotashangguofsni。”

fs?guoneizhengdanghongdeyixianxiaosheng?

gushengnanzhihaofuyandiganxiao:“he……he……”

说辞就辞。

zhongruishitadedingtoushangsi,shoudaotadecichengfenmingyidianyebuyiwai,quepianpianyaojiazuoyifuwanliudeyangzi:“buzaikaolvkaolvle?”

gushengnanyejiazuoyifuweinandeyangzi,turanshenshousiyaobacichengnahuilai。cijuhedezhongruilimabailelian,dangjisizhuazhecichengbufang。gushengnanjianzhuang,shouhuishou,yongleyizhaoweiweianjiaotade“woyongyanshenbishinibishideniyibeiziyewangbudiao”qutazuihouyiyan,touyebuhuidizoule。

dengdaorenshibuzhengshipizhunlecicheng,gushengnanjiuzhengshidaozijingjiudianzoumashangrenle。

zijingjiudianzuizhumingdebianshiyongyouyipiantongwanghaigangdeshuiyu,tingbozaigangdeyoutingzeshiyaojiazuigaodetaofang,dangushengnanhenkuaifaxian,zijingjiudianzuimeimiaodebushidudaodefengjing,ershi——

houchudeyuangongzuibashizaishitaitianle。

“yigeyuehouwomenjiudianhuijubanyichanghenzhongyaodeyanhui,haihaoshangyirendexicanzongchucizhizhihouwomenhenkuaijiudenglailegulaoshini,gulaoshi,jiudoukaonile!”

xiaohuozimenyikouyige“gulaoshi”dijiao,gushengnandexindoukuaironghuale。

zhikexiweiweiandedusheyingshibayuangongduitadezunzhongqujiechenglelingyifanyisi:“tamenjiaonigulaoshi,neizhinengshuomingliangdian,diyi,tamenxianninianjida;dier,ruguotamennatiantounaofahunxihuanshangleni、xiangyaozhuini,neijianzhijiugenshisheng**yiyangrangrendaoweikou……”