第1章 你老婆,真润啊!(1928字)

“sigui……bie……neifeiwumashangjiuyaohuilaile。”

“aiya,nixiansongkai,bietian……bie!”

“zhenhuai,nihuaisile!”

废物?

laopozheishizaishuoziji?haiyoutahesheizaiwoshini?

zhangxiaofanzhouqimeitou,zhengdasuandakaifangmen,queheranxiangqiyigenanrendeshengyin。

“buyaohaipa,neigefeiwuyishibanhuikendinghuibulaile,womendoulianggeyuemeikuaihuole……yaobu……”

什么情况?

zhangxiaofanzhanzaimenkouzhijielengzhule。

这男的谁啊?

zijiyinxiangzhongmeitingguozheigeshengyina!

zaitayihuodeshihou,fangjiandeduihuahaizaijixu。

liuyunguangliuliudetangzaichuangshang。

tuishangzhichuanleyitiaoheisedeyuwangwa,zhengyilianjiaoxiudedingzheyanqiandenanren,erhouzhezeshijibukenai,yifuzhugedianfengbiaoqing,zhengyujiangchuangshangzheigexiaoyouwuxianchiweikuai。

“讨厌!”

liuyuntuikaipushanglaidenanren,suihouyibenzhengjingdexunwen:“duile,nizhiqianshuozhenduineigefeiwudejihua……jinxingdezenmeyang?”

“hainengzenmeyang,wozhaoletamengongsidechengbaoshang,suibianzaizhangbenshangzuolejigexiaodongzuo,nineifeiwulaogongjigeyuedegongzijiumeile。”

“heng,neizhenghao,daoshihouwozaihaohaoxiuruta,rangtazhidaowoliuyundaxiaojiekebushiyibanrendounengpengde!”

“meiwentibaobei,danxianzai……nikan,woxiongdidoubuleyile……shiba。”

“你个坏蛋!”

……

yilianchuandehuayurutongqingtianpiliyibandehongdazaizhangxiaofandenaodaishang,pidetawaijiaolinen,lengzaiyuandisanwufenzhongdouhaimeihuanguolai。

zijidelaopo,liuyun……

jingranjitadailelvmaozi!

为什么?

为什么!

taneixinzhenhanwufayanyu,fennudaodaledianfeng。

mingmingzijihanxinrukudezaicuntucunjindechengshijitamailefangzi!

mingmingzijisannianshijiantiantianheyitiaogouyiyangdesihoutadejiaren,shenzhibeixiuruhechaoxiao,tadoumeiyoufangqi。

可这个女人!

haishizaiwaimianyoulenanren!

砰!

zhangxiaofanyijiaotikaifangmen,dunshihedezhengzaihuanledeerrenyigeduosuo。

liangrenkuaisudenaqidishangdeyiwuzheyanzhushenshangzhongyaobuwei,kedangtamenkandaojinlaideshizhangxiaofandeshihou,shunjianluchubuxiedebiaoqing。

neinanrengengshizuozaiyipangdianranleyigenxiangyan,congtoudaoweidoumeizhengyanqiaoyixiata。

“为什么!”

“niweishenmeyaozheiyangduiwo!”

tapaochulezijidewenti,quezhijiandaolaopoliuyunfengqingyundandezuozaichuangshang,baichulianmindeyanshenkanzheta。

“为什么?”

“zheigewentinandaobuyinggaiwenwennizijimazhangxiaofan?”

“nikuaisapaoniaokankannizijiba,niyouqianma?niyouquanma?”

“nizheiyangdefeiwuhuose,rengdaodajieshangdoubudaiyourenduokanyiyande!”

tingzhezijilaopoduizijidexiuru,zhangxiaofanruzaoleijie,zaiyujuejing,zhenggerendejingshenjinhujuewangbengkui。

shenchushou,zhilezhineiguangliuliudenanren,tazhandoudedaishangkuqiang:

“那他呢?”

“tayoushenmehaode?nengrangnizheiyangshedepaoqizijidezunyanqufuwuta!”

说话间。

tafennudexiankaibeizi,jianglianggerenzhexiudezuihouyidaofangxianquanbudakai。

danliuyunbudanmeiyourenhedexianqi,fanerbuxiedekanletayiyan,hanqingmaimaidebaoshangneinanrendehuaibao。

“你能和人家比?”

“zheikeshisunge,jinhaichengsheiburenshidesunlong,sunjiaweiyidezhangzizhangsun,weilaikeshiyaojichengyunhaijituande。”

“renjiadeshenjiaa,zaojiuguoyile!”

“zuizhongyaodeshi,jingchengdebaijiayijinghesunjiadachenglehezuoguanxi,dianmingyaosungelaijieban。”

“daoshihouwojiushisunjiadedataitaile,shenmeyangderonghuafuguibushituoshoukede!”

“zaikankanni,buguojiushigepolandichanjituandexiaozhiyuan,sungeyigenjiaozhitoudoubiniyouqian,nizenmeherenjiabi?”

zhangxiaofanzheishihouzhiganjuetianxuandizhuan,zhenggerenqingpiaopiaode,wushubeitongdeqingxudou**zhetadedanao。

没想到啊!

meixiangdaozheige**zaojiuzuohaolewanquandedasuan!

ersunlongzeshimanyouyoudezouguolai,zaitaerbianxiaoshengdiyu:“buyaohuixinxiongdi,bushinidezhongjiubushinide,zouba。”

gangyaozhuanshen,huranhaoxiangxiangdaoleshenme。

“duile,nilaopo,zhenruna!”

yizheihua,zhangxiaofanneixindenuhuoshashijianbeidianrandaolejidian。

他妈的,欺人太甚!

xianhaiwo,youjiwodailvmaozi!

现在还来恶心我!

“你找死!”

zhangxiaofanpaoxiaozhehandao,fazhenggerenfalefengsidepuleshangqu。

可……

renjiasunlongkeshifujiagongzi,bakuaifujisuiranshijianshenfangchulaide,danbiqisancanbujianduoshaoyoushuidezhangxiaofan,zhenshikuiwutaiduole。

suoyihaobuyiwai,tayiquanjiubeidafeilechuqu,naomendeliuhaishang,yilianchuandexianxuehuanmandeliutangchulai。

sunlongrutongkansigouyiyangkanzheta,shunshoucongchuangshangnaqiyigefenhongsedexiaowanyi,shouwanyiyongli,jiurengzailetadelianshang。

“chuqudeshihoubangworengyixia,xiexiele。”

dongxibansuizhezhangxiaofandezunyan,yibingluozailedishang。

……

bangwan,yuxiadehenda,dajieshangkongwuyiren。

zhangxiaofanshihunluopodedaozaiyibian,naomenshanggangbaohaodeshangkouhaizaishenxue。

pengdeyishengjiangyigejiupingzirengjinbuyuanchudelajitong,tafashengdaxiao。

“hahahaha,doujieshule,jieshule!”

shuowan,bianhunshuizaileyuyedangzhong。

ercishi,buyuanchutingkaodeyiliangheisemaibahehurandakailechemen,zouxiajigedazheyusandeheiyidahan,kanzhesihushibaobiao。

tamenerhuameishuojiutaiqizhangxiaofan,jibubiansongdaolechezimianqian。

chechuangdakai,yimianrongjiaohaodenvzibanluchulianpang,lengmodedaliangleyixiata。

“zheijiushiyeyeshuodezhangjiatiancai?wokanshiyitiaofeigoucaishiba。”

tazheihuasihushishuojimianqiankaichedelaozhede,danduifangbingmeiyouhuiying。

“songdaogedifangandunxialai,shengxiadejiukantazijile。”

“ruguoxiacikandaohaishizheigeyangzi,gaosujiali,womenbaijiabuxuyaozheizhongfeiwudebangzhu。”

话音落下。

chechuanglimashangyang,maibahecongyuyezhongfeichiquleyuanfang……