第1章
“shifu，zaidadehuanijiushuyuzaihuangquanlushangchaduile！nihaishirangwoxiashanba！”
kunlunshanshanding，yizuogufengqianmian，suyizhoumeikanzheyanqianbeizijizoudebiqinglianzhongdelaotouzi，wunaideshuodao。
整整五年了啊！
zijibeizheizaolaotouziguanzaishanshangbizhexuexiyiduiluanqibazaodedongxi。
xuewushuzijinenglijie，xueyishuyehaixing，bijingkeyizijijiuziji。
danshiyixietianwendilihewenyizhenfa，jiuhenlipule。
yitianxialaichuleduanduanjigexiaoshideshuijuejihumeiyouxiuxishijian，zheirangsuyijiaokubudie。
zijishangbeizishichuaileguafumenhaishibaolejuehufena？
yaobuzanengpengdaozheigekekedaojidiandezaolaotouzini？
“suirannihenqiang，danshiwoganjuehaibugou！xiashandehuani.......”
laotouzirouleroubeidazhongdelianjia，jiangbeisichepolandeyifuzhongxinchuanhao。
yibuliushen，haichupengdaolenaodaishangdedabao。
“嘶......”
laotouziyanzhudourandengda，shenshentishanglaiyikouqi。
“qishiyebushibuxing！”
“哦？”
benlaishigehaoxiaoxi，danshisuyifanerluchuhuaiyidemuguangshangxiadalianglaotou。
zheilaojiahuozuixihuanshualai，zheicizenmekenengjiuzheimedayingle？
不对，绝对有猫腻！
guoran，xiayike，laotouzishouzhongjiuduoleyizhangbiaomianfanhuangdezhipian，saidaolesuyishouli。
“zheishaya？nibuyaobanidezhirengguolaia！”
“gundan！”laotouzinumayishengzhihou，youcoudaosuyierbianyandaihuaixiaodeshuodao："chouxiaozi，douershisuiderenle，haimeishangguodaxueba？”
“shenmewanyi，shangdaxue？laotouzinibuhuishibeiwodashaleba？”
“zuijinlaotouziwoni，shafeikuxinjinigaoleyigeshangdaxuedeminge，zheishitongzhishu！”
suyiyiliandenanyizhixin，dangniantawuliusuijiuyijingtongxiaodaxueyixiadekecheng，sangeyuewanchengdaxuesiniandezhishijinxiu。
yitadezhishang，huixuexiaojianzhijiushijiangweidaji。
gengbieshuo，genzhelaotouzixueleyishenbenshi，huiqushangxue？
学习如何虐菜？
“nixiangzhaodaozijidefumu，xianzaideshilihaibugou！zhiyoukaoxiashanlilianlaitishengnideshili，haiyouxinjing。buyaoxiaokanjingdoudaxue，tashinizhaodaonifumudelushangbukehuoquedeyihuan！”
laotouziluchuyifushenmimocedexiaoyi，danshitaneibiqinglianzhongdeyangzishizaishiyousunyigeshiwaigaorendexingxiang。
“去就去！”
tingshuonengzhaodaozijidefumu，suyilikedayingxialai。
zheilaojiahuo，yongyuanbiezhizhetanengjiangshiqingjiangqingchu。
danshinengxiashan，jiuyijingshixietianxiedile。
整整五年了啊！
zijizhongyukeyicongshanzhongchuqule！
“heihei，**xiaozibuzhihaodai！weishizheidoubujiaofangshui，jianzhidoushifanghaile！”
liqudesuyibingbuzhidao，shanfengzhishang，yigeshenxinggouloudelaotouzizhengmanlianxiaoyidekanzheta。
yanjing，zheilishidaxiadejingdousuozai。
sitongbada，zhouweiyouchongshanjunling，qishanxiushuiwushu，gengshichuanchengleshangqianniandewenhuagudou。
qishi，laiyanjingyesuanshigudizhongyou。
wunianqian，suyihaimeiyoushangshanxueyideshihou，cengjinglaizheilizhixingrenwu，zaizheilihaiyouzhuchu。
xianzaiwunianguoqule，meixiangdaohainengpaishangyongchang。
zijizongbuzhiyuyiguolaijiulusujietoubushi。
zaiwaimiandedoufutanshangjiandanduifuleliangkouzhihou，suyijiuzhunbeihuizijidexiaowushuijue。
huran，pangbiandehutonglimianchuanlaiyizhenqiguaidexiangsheng。
xixisusude，haoxianghaiyourenshuohua。
“啊！”
yishengnvrendejiaochenzhijierangsuyishenjingyijin。
“zheishi......”
suyitiaoletiaomeimao，qiaoqiaozouguoquxiangmanzuyixiahaoqixin。
heihuhudehutonglimian，zhiyouyizhanhunhuangdeludeng。
ludengxiamian，yigeshenchuanzhiyetaozhuanggaogenxiedenvzizhengzuozaidishang，lianshangyipianhong，zuilishuohuayeyouxieshuobuqing，xianranshihezuile。
pangbianhaiyousansigehuabeinanchenzhenvzizuijiu，qituzhandianbianyi。
“哎呦！疼！”
qizhongyigexiaodigangmoleyiba**tuijiuailenvzibennengdeyijiao，dunshitengdejiaoleqilai。
“baoge，zheiniangmenbutinghuaa！”
“hehe，nixiaozijisha？dengtatineideyaoxingchedikuosanqilai，tajiuhuizhudongxiangwomenqiuhuan！”
“meimaobing！genzhebaogehun，guoranshichixiangdehelade！”
shengxiadejigerenhuxiangduishiyiyan，zuilifachuyizhenyinxiedexiaosheng。
bei**chongdetouhunnaozhangdezhangbingqianhunshenmianruanwuli，danshiyishihaimeiyouwanquansangshi，hainengganzhidaowaijiefashengdexiexushiqing。
mianduizheijigehuabeiweisuonan，zhangbingqianshifenjuewang，yehenhouhui。
yaobushizijifeiyaochulaihejiu，haihezheimeduo，yebuhuiluozaitamenshouli。
“嗯......”
yaoxingjihuwanquankuosan，zhangbingqianbuzijuedefachuyishengjiaochuan，huxiyeyuelaiyuejicu。
“gejige，gaidongkuaizile！”
denglebantiandebaogetianletianzuichun，yijingyouxiepobujidaideyaochangchangyanqiandeyouwule。
不！
zhangbingqianxianzaiyijuhuadoushuobuchulai，wanbanqingxuchongshangdanao，jingranzhijieyunle。
“诶？晕了？”
baogeyileng，suijiyinxiaodao："daoshishengshile！gejige，dongshou！”
jigerenpobujidaidejiuyaotuodiaokuziganhuo。
suyimeitoujinzhou，maibuzouchuqu。
huijiagenzijilaoposuibianzuo，zheizhongchumenhuohaibierendejiahuozuishigaisi！
“xiaozi，nitemeshi......”
baogeyijuwanzhengdehuahaimeishuochukou，jiuyijingbeisuyiyijiaochuaifanzaidi，aihaobuzhi。
“**！”
“豹哥！”
shengxialiangsangerenbuguoshixiaomazi，yikanlaodabeidadao，jianshibumiaojiuxiangliuzou。
“heng，xiangpao？wanle！”
suyimuguangdouranyining，suishoujiangshouzhongshunlaideyicixingkuaizirengchuqu。
咻！
kuaizihuaguoyekong，fenbiejizhongshengxiarendehounaoshao。
shengxialianggerenyetangzaidishang，bushengrenshi。
suyipailepaishou，jiangdishangdenvzifuqilai。
kandaonvziderongmao，suyirenbuzhuyizheng。
美，真他娘的美！
liuyemei，yingtaozui，mianpangxizhiqingleng，shencaiaotuyouzhi，jianzhishijipin。
“红颜祸水啊！”
suyigantanyisheng，suijijianchaleyixianvzidezhuangtai。
“神仙丸！”
ganzhidaonvzizhongdedu，suyibuyoudemeitoujinzhou。
zheigenbenbushishisuzhizhongdeduyao。
“shenxianwanshenxianwan，yaoyinyidao，shenxianyewanwan！”
suyishenzhizheizhongduyaodelihai，waiwuwufaquchu，zhinengkaoyinyangxiangji。
xianzaidezhangbingqianliansehongdewanrushutoudepingguo，hunshenzhandou，shenshangdexuhanyicengjiezheyiceng，xianranshiyaoyinfazuo。
“suannimingda，yudaolewo！”
benlaixiangjiangzhangbingqiandaidaozijidexiaowuzhongjinxingzhiliao，keshihaimeipaodao，beihoudezhangbingqianyijingkaishinanshouqilai，xuhanjinshiyishanliudaolesuyideshenshang。
zuilidejiaochuanshengyinyuelaiyuepinfan。
“gaisi，zenmezheimekuai？”
wunai，suyizhihaochongjinjiujindeyijiabinguankaihaofangjian，jiangzhangbingqianfangzaichuangshang。
“呼！”
suyichuanlekouqi，conghuaizhongmochuyinzhen。
“shenxianwan，shisujiebule，danshihainanbudaowo！”
“唔！”
“aiyoudajieniyaogansha？”
zhengyaojizhangbingqianzhashangliangzhendesuyihuranbeijiaoquyazaixiamian。
“热，跟我，来！”
“要......”
“唔！救命！”
“meinv，wohaishidiyici！”
suyihuhanzhe，keshizhangbingqianmeiyoutingxialaideyisi，fanerfanshoujiangdengmiediao......
“kao！meinv，nijiubunengjinchiyidianma？”
yiriqingchen，suyimengrancongchuangshangzuoqilai，yishengaihao。
tahunshenchitiaotiaode，yongbeizidangzhuzijidexiabanshen，yilianyouyuandekanzhezuozaiyibiandezhangbingqian，fangfoyigebeirenfeilidexiaonvren。
jingguozuotianyiyedeyinyangxiangji，zhangbingqiancishitineideduxingzaoyiqusan。
taxianzaitounaowubiqingxing，dengzhesuyi，yishuangmouzijihuyaopenchuhuolai。
zijicaishineigeyinggaikusudehaoma？
keweishenmeduifangyifubuqingyuandeyangzi？
“nizuotianbeirenjiaweileyao，chadianjiubeiqiangle！wosheshenxiangjiu，niqueqiangzoulewodediyici，ni，nibunengzou！”
suyiyifuweiqubabadeyangzi，guoranshihaoqixinhaisimao！
zijijiubuyinggaijianxixidecouguoqu，jieguozijibeirenjiqiangle！
zhangbingqianzuotiansuirankongzhibuzhuzijidexingwei，danshihaishiyoucancundeyishide，henkuaijiuxiangqilezuotiandequanguocheng。
zaikanmianqianzheirenweiqubabadeyangzi，zhangbingqianqideyanpiluantiao，henbudebaduifanglinqilaibaozouyidun。
“zheishiyiwankuaiqian，bazheijianshijiwowangle！”
“yihouwomenjiudangmeijianguo！”
tacongzijidexiaokuabaolitaochuyitachaopiaorengdaosuyimianqian。
benlaixiangzhepeishuiyiwanyiwankuaihaibucuo，zhengxiangnaguolaidesuyi，tingdaoxiayijuhua，lianmangjiangchaopiaorenghuiqu。
“zende，shiqingshinizuode，nandaozheijiuburenrenle？”
suyipoweibuman，zijihaodaiyeshidiyici。
“nihaixiangzenmeyang？nandaoshuiyiciwojiushiniderenlema？”
zhangbingqianshuangmoushechubinglengdemuguang。
suyichenmobuyu，tajiushizheigeyisi。
qiangpoletadenvrenhaixiangpao？
不可能！
jiandaosuyichenmo，zhangbingqianyaojinyaguan："biezuomengle！wojinggaonijiwowangdiaozheijianshi，buyaozairangwokandaoni，gengbiexiangzhelaishangwo！”
jinggaoguohou，zhangbingqianjiangyifuchuanhao，feisuzhengliyixia，shuaimenlikai。
“ai！nvrenxina！zheidoubulingqingma？”
suyiqingqingtandao，zheikeshizijidediyici，haishiweilejiuta，yaobutakejiusizaishenxianwandeyaoxingxiamianle。
“huashuoneijigejiahuoshoushangzenmekenenghuiyoushenxianwanni？”
suyisisuoleyifanwuguo，yejiumeiyoushenjiu。
zheibushitayinggaicaoxindedongxi。
suyirengdiaobeizi，chuanhaokuzi，zhanzaijingziqianmianxinshangleyixiazijideshencai。
yikuaikuaijieshidefujichongchizaifubu，shoubeishanggengshiliuxianxingjirou，jieshijianmeizaitashenshangzhanxiandelinlijinzhi。
“hehe，duozoulelaozidediyici，nihaixiangzhepao？”
suyiluchuyisixiemeidexiaoyi。
chuanhaoyifuzhihou，suyikanlekanwuzilideshizhong。
“gaiqujingdoudaxuebaodaolea！”