第4章 给我一个彻底死心的理由

yaomengnazuanjinlewuzhi,“qinanya,niweixiewo?!”zaiqiantuheaiqingshangdejueze,tatanxindexiangyaoyibingyongyou。

tachadianwangle,qinanyakebushineizhongkeyirangrensuiyinaniederuanshizi。

qinanyaroulerouyinyinzuotengdemeixin,“womeixiangweixieni,zhishixiangtixingni,zuorenbuyaotaiguofenle。biebarenbishangjuelu,daoshihoulaigeyusiwangpo,duisheidouhaochu!”

yizhichenmojianyandejichenxilenglengkaikou,yuqibinglengdebuhanyisiwendu,“naogoulema?naogoudehua,shibushikeyihuiqule?”

qinanyamaikaibuzi,yueguoyaomengna,zhijiezoudaojichenxidegenqian,qingchedeshuimoukanzheta,“zheijiushinidexuanzema?”

meiyoudenglaijichenxidehuida,taxiangshiziyanziyuyiban,“woshibushiyinggaixuehuizhengyizhiyan,biyizhiyan?youshihouxinrumingjing,zhenshiyijianzhemorendeshi。”

jichenxituranzhanqilai,ezhutadeshouwan,heisexuanwobandeheimouxumanlekepadenuyi,“qinanya,shouqinidexingxingzuotai,nizhibuzhidao,nizheifumoyangrangrenkanledaoweikou?”

shoubeishangchuanlaidetengtongrangqinanyabuzijuezhouqilemeitou,neishuangpiaoliangdemouzifanzhecengcenglianyi。jibianjichenxilengyanxiangxiang,tayijiuxiaodemingyandongren,yanjiaoyouyikejingyingdeleishuiqiaoranhualuo。

“ruguonixianggenwojiechuhunyue,mingshuobujiudele,feidezheshuazheizhongexinrendeshouduanma?woshibushigaiqingxing,wozheigeluopoqianjin,haizhidejizongcaihuafeixinsiyanyichu‘yiqingbielian’deximajiwokan?”

jichenxishenshanghunzazheyancaodeweidao,qiheidemouzixiangyiwangshenbujiandideshentan,fanzhelenglengdeguangze,“zheimeduonian,nishuohuadefangshihaishiyiyangrangrentaoyan。nibuxihanwoduinideai,nandaohaibuyunxuwoxihuanbieren?”

cengjingtaaideneimebeiwei,queshizhongdebudaotaderenhehuiying。taxianzaibuhuizaixiangyiqianyiyangyiweidefuchu,buqiuhuibao。

qinanyanulishoushizijideqingxu,kebeishangdeqingxuhaishibukeyizhidilingchizhetabenjiumianlinbengkuideshenjing。siniandeganqing,tanbushangkekumingxindeailian,queshixiguanleneigerendecunzai。

yiqingbielian,jiujingshisuiyuewuqing,haishirenxinyibian?

jichenximouzijujilefengbao,“qinanya,buyaoshitutiaozhanwodedixian,duinijueduimeiyouhaochu!ruguobuxiangqinmuyibeizidaizaijianyuli,jiuananjingjingdizuohaozijidebenfen。guandetaikuan,duinijueduimeihaochu!”

fanlianburenren,buzhengshijichenxizuishanzhangdeshima?

jijianengcongxuanchengmomowuwendegongxinjieceng,kuaisuchengzhangweixuanchengpoyoumingqidejiazu,qinjiashizuidadegongchen。rujinqinjiatuibai,jichenxibandianbiaoshidoumeiyou。tabuzhudong,nandaoshixiangrangtazhudongxiangtafuruan?

tataiqijingzhidexiae,yuqibubeibukang,“jizongcai,nizenmejiantawodoumeiguanxi,ninkaixinjiuhao。”zheiduanganqingshitazijixuanzede,kuguoliyingyoutazijichengdan。

“jizongcai”zheiyangshuyuankeqidechenghu,yixiazichunulejichenxi,tademouziranshaozhexiongxiongnuhuo,rangrenkanlebuyouxinji,“zaiwomenhaiyouyizhihunyueshufudeshihou,buguannidexinzaisheideshenshang,nijiuhaishijijiadezhunerxifu!zaiwomeiyouyunxunilikaizhiqian,nijiubiexiangbaituozheigeshenfen!”

sinianle,taxinliyijiuwangbuletaba?

qinanyaxinjianyizhan,yinxiangzhongdejichenxizaiqingxushangconglaidoubuluhenji,haiweixiangxianzaizheiyangrucishitai。

tazhenglengjimiaocaigoulegouchunshuodao“youshenmehuazhijieledangshuobushigenghao,hanshasheyingzuoshenme?”

jichenxifangkaiduiqinanyashuangshoudeqianzhi,ershiniejintadexiaba,manyidikanzhetayintengtongcuqidemeitou,bochungouqiyisichaofengdehudu,“chulezhuangshachonglengzheiyizhao,nijiubunengwandianxinxiande?”

qinanyajifengdixiaoxiao,guyipiaoleyaobeinayiyan,“jiuaikuzaofawei,suoyinijiuzhaolexinxiande?jichenxi,wobushineizhongkanbudongmeiyangaodidenvren。jiwoyigechedisixindeliyou,wobaozhengyihoubuzaiguowennidesishi!”

jichenxijiashenleshoushangdelidao,yunnudao“woyiweinizhishaohuiweilewo,genyaomengnayijiaogaoxia。qinanya,wozainixinlijiuneimewuzuqingzhong,lianrangnizhengfengchicudoubugoufenliang?”

shuodaodi,tadefennu,haibushiyinweizijizuoweiqinanyadeweihunfu,quebuzuyizaitaxinlizhanjuyixizhididebugan。

qinanyameixincujin,sisiminzhuchunban,buxiangquhuidananrendewuliqunao。

yaomengnayonglandiyizaimenkuang,yanzhongraoyouxingweidikanzheyanqiandenaoju。qinanyahejichenxiguanxinaodeyuejiang,tajiuyueshiyoujikecheng。

jichenxiyanzhongchihongyipian,sihuxiangyaojiangnvrendegutouniesui,“nibushiyixianglingyalichima,zenmebushuohuale?shibushibeiwoshuozhongle,suoyiwuyanyidui?”

qinanyashituzhengtuonanrendeqianzhi,huanlaidequeshinanrengengshendejinjiao,tazhinengfangqizhengzha,shuohuadeyuqiqueyijiubukenshoulianfengmang,“jixiansheng,wobahaizaijianyuli,womeishijianpeinimenwanliangnvzhengyinandeyouxi,gengmeiyouxinqingwanzhengfengchicuzheizhongwuliaodexima!woshuoguo,wobushineizhongmeiyouyanjianlidenvren。zhixuyaojiwoyigeliyou,wokeyidanggeyinxingren,buzaijiuchanni,buzaifangainimenxiangqinxiangai。”

tadehuabingmeiyoupingxijichenxidenuqi,tayanzhongdebaolizuyicuihuitasuoyoudeyinren。

jichenxishouzhizhijiefenming,tazaijiliyayixintoudenuhuo,huajihushicongyafenglijichulai,“woyijingbanicongxinliyichule,buxiangzairangzijiaideneimebeiweile,zheisuanbusuanliyou?nifeiyaoyigeliyou,neime,wojiniliyou!”

qinanyachuimou,yangaiyandideqingxu,“suan!zheigeliyou……wojieshou。congjinyihou,wobuhuizaiguowennidesishi。”

taxianjiechuixia,gangcaibeijichenxiwozhudeneijiexianshoubainendeshoubeiyijingmanshiyuhen,taqueganjuebudaotengtong。dagaishixinlidetengtongtaiguoqianglie,caihuiyangaidiaoshentidetengtong。

jichenxihuanmansongkaiduitadeqianzhi,yanzhongyiranhuifuyiwangdesanmanzitai,“jintiandeshibixushoukouruping,wobuxiwangtingdaoyouguanwoderenhefeisexinwen。”

yanbuyouzhong,zhishiweilecijita,xiwangtanengkaikouwanliutadexin,kejiejurangtadashisuowang。cengjingyangaoyudingdeta,meiyouxuanzefankang,ershixuanzetuoxie。

taturanyouxietaoyanqinanyaturuqilaidenuoruo。

qinanyaganjuezijijiuxiangshigetiaoliangxiaochou,wulunzenmebengda,dougaibianbuleyichengdedingju,zhihuirangzijigengjiajiongpohenankan。

yaomengnaxingzailehuodixinshangzheqinanyacishidejiongpohenankan,xirigaoguiyouyadeqinjiadaxiaojie,yidingxiangbudaozijihuiyouzheimeluoponankandeshihou。

zaihonghonglieliedeaiqing,zhongjiuyetaobuguofendaoyangbiaodeneiyitian。

qinanyataolisidichongchulebaoxiang,erbianyinyinnengtingdaoshenhouyaomengnaneimanhanjiaomeidechaoxiaosheng。

yanleizailianshangsiyiliutang。tazirenzijizugoujianqiang,keyanleigenbenkongzhibuzhu。nanguodebushijichenxidebeipan,ershitaduiqinjiadejueqing。

jichenxiqiheidemouzikanzheqinanyadebeiying,zhidaotadeshenyingxiaoshizaizoulangdeguaijiaochu。tazhanqishenzhunbeilikai,yaomengnalanzhuletadequlu。

“wozheizhangdangjianpaiyongdekehaishunshou?liyongwanlewo,yishengbuhangjiuxianglikai,jiefuyezhenshigouwuqingde!”

jichenxiqinglengdemouzifangfozanglebingyibanhanqiliaorao,“jiranzhidaozijizhishigewuzuqingzhongdedangjianpai,jiubuyaoshewangneixiebushuyunidedongxi。ruoshiyaoxiaojiexianzheigejiaosebugoufenliang,dakeyixuanzetuichu。”

yaomengnahuanhuanfangxiazijideshoubei,wuluntazenmenulirangzijibiandeyouxiu,kedianqijiaojianhaishigoubudaotafenhao。

ruguobushiyinweiaidezhizhe,tayouhekuquweinantaziji?

jichenxiaidebeiwei,tayouhechangbushi?