第1章
“天杀的小**！”
“danfeileshiba？ganbawodebaozhutuijinjingli，kanlaoniangbudasini！”
“xiaoxiaonianjishouzheimehei，zenmemeiranglaotianbanishoule！huitoubanimaidiao，shengdejiannijiulaiqi，shenmedongxi......”
“......”
tiangangfangliang，cundongtoudelaoguanjiajiuchuanlaiguanlaotaikeboyoujianruidemanma。
ererxiyuanshiguidaozaidi，hunshendoudehaosiqiufengzhongdeluoye，queguzhidihuzaixiaonvhaishenqian。
“niang，dayatazhenbushiguyide，ninjiuraoguotayihuiba！“
“niang，wohexianggongyihoudouhuihaohaoxiaojingnin。qiuqiuninbiemaileta，tatineiliuzhedeyeshizanlaoguanjiadeguxuea！erxifujininketoule！niang——”
砰砰砰！
zhongzhongdiqiaojishengqiaodazhejianyingdenidi，rangtadeetouhenkuaihongzhongyipian，ketayiranyaozheya，bandianbugansongxie。
tadejudongbudanmeinenganfuguanlaotai，fandaorangduifangbaotiaorulei。
“haonigeyuanshi！zhanzhemaokengbueshi，lianerzidoushengbuchulaidexiao**！laoniangdangchuzhenshixialeyan，rangnizheilanxiashuidetaozhaiguijinlewolaoguanjiademen！nijingganweibilaoniang，kanlaoniangbudasini——”
guanlaotaichongshangquyaojiererxiyigejiaoxun，yuanshixiayishiyiduo......
quekanjianguanlaotaiyitouzhuangdaoqiangshang，xianxuedangjicongetouyongchu，zhenggerenyehuanhuanruandaozaidi。
yanhongyanhongdexianxue**deyuanshihunshenyijiling，jingkongdedajiao：
“娘——”
老关家霎时乱了套！
xifumenjinghuangshicuo，haitongmenkuhao，yidaqunrenchaochaorangrangweilongguolai，barenbanjinwu，mocaomuhui，chanbudaizhixue，paixiongkou，chuihoubei......lianhandaijiaodebuzhuzheteng。
这年头孝字大过天。
ererxihaiguanlaotaikepolenaodai，jianlexue，zheikeshidashi！
“shiniangzijizhuangdeqiang，zheishierzhenbuyuanwo......”
“buyuanniyuanshei？nibideniangquzhuangqiang，nihaishuobuguannideshi，zheizhongshishuochuqusheixin？！”
“wo、wo......”
yuanshikutianmolei，queyushiwubu。
yankanguanlaotaineikoudiaozhedeqijianjianyanxia，zhongrendouanziqiexizhiyu，buyousikaoqiguanlaotaiguoshenhou，zijianengbaladaoduoshaohaodongxi。
weiduyuanshi，yilianxinsiruhui！
niangruozhenzheimequle，neita......
tahunshenyijiling，pushangqian，tongkuliuti：
“niang，niangninxingxinga！niang，niangninyaoshiqule，xifukezenmehuoa！ninkuaixingxingba......”
guanlaodajianzhuang，zuobuzhule。
“biehanle，niangdoubeinihaisile！wogaosuniyuanshi，wolaoguanjiadeyizhuanyiwaniyexiuxiangnadao。naqinidebaofu，jiwogunhuiniyuanjiaqu！wolaoguanjiakebuganyaonizheizhong，danganhaisipomudeerxifu——”
tamadetongkuai，siqudeguanlaotaifandaozhengkaileyan。
meirenchajue，buguoyizhanchadegongfu，zheijucanglaodeshenqujiuhuanlexiner。
jiyuehehuanhuanzhengkaiyan，zhiganjuetoutongyulie。
shangbeizitajiushigezhugushengdeming，yankanfangzichezipiaozishadedouqihule，chendaguoniandehaorizichumenyouwan，buliaoyijiaoxingchatacuo，cailekong，gunxiashanya......
zaixinglai，jiubianchenglekejuwenzhongdenongmenepopo。
cong24sui，yaoshenyibianchengle36suide“laotaipo”。
budanfuzengjigebuxiaozi，shenhouhaizhuizheyichuanertuoyouping！
xiangdaozhei，tarenbuzhuleiliumanmian。
tianxiaode，tahuole24sui，liannanrendeziweidoumeichangguoa！
xiangqiyuanshenzuoxiadeeshi，jiyuehedourenbuzhutanqi。
yuanshenshigelihaide，mailexiaosunnv，bidelaoerxifutiaolehe，gengbidelaodayijiaduanleqin。
zaitazuichongaideyaoerpingbuqingyunhou，gengsuoshitachongqiemieqi，jiaodeyigejiabudeansheng。
zuihoubeiyizoubencandaojinluandian。
tazuoxiadeeshidoubeifanchulai，chengweizhengdigongjidebabing，zuizhongquanjialaoxiaodoubeiyiguohuile！
yiduijipinzaoxinshiyigunaoguanjindanao，rangtanaodaiyizhenwengwengzuoxiang。
pianhaiyouyiqunren“gagaga”chaonao，rangtazairenbuzhuyishengbaohou：
“bizui！chaosirenle——”
tazijijuedehoudehenda，shizekanbiwenna。pianshengzaiguanlaodashuohuadejianxi，dajiadoutingdaole。
场面顿时为之一静。
xuyuhou，zhongrendouweilongleguolai。
“niang，ninxingle？ninmeishenmeshiba？”
“taihaole！niang，qiancuowancuodoushiyuanshidecuo。yaobushitadanerfeidanduiniangnindongshou，ninyebuhuishanglenaodai......”
“niang，ninetouhaitengma？yaobuyaoxifubacaoyaolangzhongqinglai？”
“......”
qizuibashedishuohuasheng，jiuhaosiyouqianbaizhicangyingzaierbianwengwengjiao。
kansiguanqiedeyanli，doudaoyingzheshiwangzhise。
weiduyuanshi，youkuyouxiao，shizhenxinweileguanlaotaixinglaiergaoxing。
jiyuehetouteng：“kugepiku，laonianghaimeisinijiuhaosangna！douchibaole，xiandemeishizuoshiba？dilidezhuangjiadouzhongxiaqule？fanzuohaole？jilaonianggun，biechuzaizheiaiwolaotaipodeyan！”
tanayanyideng，dengdeneiyiqunrenfenfenbaotoushucuan，liankudoujiwangle。
guanlaodazouzaizuihou，haibuzhuanweita：
“niang，nibieqihuaileshenzi，nikanxianzaibaozhubushiyemeishileme？yaowoshuo，yuanshizhenbushigedongxi，juranganchongniangdongshou！jiugaibaneizaoxindewanyierxiule，wolaoguanjiakebunengyaozheizhongbujingdieniangdeerxifu......”
这谁啊？
还指点起江山了？
jiyueheyileng，mengdizhuaqizhentoujiuzaleguoqu。
“neishinierdimei！wokannishizhanzheshuohuabuyaoteng。yaoxiu，woyegailiushineigejiaojiajingxiule！jiwogunchuqu，gungungun——”
tajidongdemengyiqishen，zheigekansijiandandedongzuoquedaidongleshangkou，etouchuanlaidechoutenglingtadaochouyikouliangqi。buyouzizhudeyangdaohuichuangtou，jianjianhunshuileguoqu。
shuoqizheichangwuwangzhizai，jiudeconglaoguanjiakaishishuoqi。
laoguantouzaoniansangqi，liuxialianggebandadehaizimeirenzhaogu，budeyixuxianleguanlaotaijiyuehe。
自古后娘难为！
yuanshenzaonianjiaqiong，xiaoxiaonianjijiubeiduguifuqinsongqudahurenjiazuoyahuan。
suizheshenghuogaishannianjijianda，yuanshenyechuluodetingtingyuli，emeixingyanxiaomanyao，dangzhenshiyiduojiaohuaer。
ziranyeshengchulebugaiyoudexinsi。
pianshengdangjiazhumuyeshigeyoushouduande，yifanjiaolihou，bianbayuanshenyuanyuandidafalequ。
yuanshenyixinpanzhenengfeishanggaozhier，buliaozhuanyanbeipeilegegangsilexifudeguanfu，xinzhongziranfenfenbuping，duiqiantoushengdelianggeerzigengshimeishenmehaolian。
zaijiashangyouxinrenkeyitiaobo，helianggebianyihaizideguanxiyeyuefadanmo。
haozaitadedupizhengqi，xianhoushengxialesannanyinv。zici，tazailaoguanjiabianzhanwenlejiaogen，yelaolaobakongzhulejialidejingjidaquan。
eryuanshi，bianshiererziboleguanlaotaidelianmian，zizhudingxiadehunshi。
yuanshijinmen，xianhouliangtaidoushinver，guanlaotaizheinongmenepopo，gengshicongmeiyitianhaolian！
家里这日子过得——
qinengyongyige“luan”zilaixingrong！
zheicishiqingdeqiyin，shiyuanshendexiaoguinvbaozhudaidaozhinvdayatouchijidan，bianrangrangkailai，buliaoquebeijinghuangshicuodedayatuijinlejingli。
yuanshenshengbaozhushishangleshenzi，yizhijiaocaijinleguimenguanyoujianhuiyitiaoming。
jiashangbaozhuzheigexiaomianaoyouguanhuitiaohaodezhang，fusebaijing**，jiemaozhangzhang，shuiwangwangdedayanjinghushanhushande，neijiaoyigefendiaoyuzhuo！
yuanzhuyixinpanzhetanengpanshanggaozhier，daxiaojiuchongnita。
baozhuluoshuishoujing，buduoshijiufaqilegaore，yizhangxiaolianershaodetonghongtonghongde。
原身大发雷霆之怒！
结果......