第一章：傻子林小凡
daxiaguonanbu，xibu,qingshanshi，qingshanzhen，qingshuicun...
yanyanxiari，zhengzhixiawu...
zheishicunlidecunminmendaduoshudouchumendaozijiadilideguoyuanganhuo，huozhezuoxiexiaomaimaitaoshenghuoqule。
cunwaitiandilishifenzaore，dancunlitouyikelaokuishuyinxiaqueshifenliangkuai，shazilinxiaofanzhengtangzaiyikuaibinglengdedashibanshanghuhudashui。
linxiaofanyuanbenkebusha，tingshuotabenlaishizaiwaimiandeyizuodachengshili，jiyijiadaqiyejituandangbaoande,hundehaibucuo，meigeyuedouhuijijialijigesansiqianhuilai。
zhishihoulaibuzhidaoshidezuileshenmerenbeidadegebansi，dangrenbeiyiyuansonghuilaideshihoujiuyijingshigeshazile。
“xiaofangegexingxing，bieshuile。”
yigezhangdeshifenqingxiu，shibajiusuimoyangdeguniangchuxianzaitamianqian。
tayouyishuangshuilingdedayanjing，baijingdeliandanzhengweiweifanzhehongyun，wuheidetoufazhachengliangtiaokeaideyangjiaobian。
“xiaoqingmeimei，nishilaizhaowowandema？keshiwokun，woxiangshuijuejue。”
linxiaofanweiweizhengkaimihudeshuangyan，yanzhongjinshishuiyidehanhanshuodao。
lairenzhengshilinxiaoqing，19suigangganggaozhongbiye，shiqingshuicunlideyiduoxianhua。
tacongxiaojiuxihuanzhanzhelinxiaofan，liangrenguanxihenhao，houlailinxiaofangaozhongbiyejiuchuqudagongle。
danmeicilinxiaofanshengchijianyongbaqianjihuilaijijiazhongfumuwai，haihuishaojitayiliangbaikuaidelinghuaqian，bangtamaiyixiehaokandeyifu，biruxianzaichuandebaiselianyiqunzi。
linxiaoqingshengjiatingbenlaihaishiyishiwuyoude，tashengdeguaiqiaokeai，meiqingmuxiu，shigerenjianrenaidexiaoguniang。
zhikexideshizuijinliangniantajiazhongzhongzhideshuiguoshouchengbuhao，jiashangyigeduoyueqiantafuqinturanyiwaibingdao，jiujiexialecunzhongbaofahuliujiadejiwankuai。
rujin，liujiashituranbipolinxiaoqingjiahaiqian，buranjiuyaoqiangpoyaolinxiaoqingjiajiliujiadedaerziliuzhuang。
linxiaoqingjialixianzainaliyouqian，erqiemeigeyuehaiyaohuayibiqianjitangzaibingfanglidefuqinmaiyaozhibing。
liuzhuangzheigerenfeitoudakuai，tancaihaose，sijiuhaodu，dongbudongjiuxihuandaren，shicunzhongyigetuba。
linxiaoqingjuedingjiuruguofeiyaojiajiliuzhuang，neijiujiajitahouzhijiezijinsuanle，zheiyangyesuanshiduifumuzuihoudebaodale。
zhishi，taxiangdaoyizhidouhenzhaogutadexiaofangege，xianzaichenglegeshazixinzhonghenshinanshou，zijirujinjiuyaofusilequemeinenghuibaotayifenenqing，suoyiyouyulehenjiuhou。
tajuranyouleyigedadandexiangfa…
“xiaofangege，waibiandeshitouying，nigenwojinfangjianlilaiba，woneichuangshuizheshufu。”
linxiaoqingdaizhejifenxiusedeyangzishuowanhuahou，yibajiuqianshanglinxiaofanneijieshiyoulidedashou，lazhetajiuyigejingwangzijiafangxiangcongcongxiaopaohuiqu。
linxiaofanrujinshigeshazi，nalidongdetadeyisi。
zhizhidaolinxiaoqingshuonengrangtashuideshufu，jiushashadegenzhetadebufabeiqiandaoleneichongmanshaonvfangxiangqixidefangjianli。
“xiaofangegenixianzuo，woxianjinidaobeishuihe。”
linxiaoqingyuanbenshiguzuleyongqide，jieguobatalahuizijifangjianhouyouyoudiandanqiele，bianzhaolegeheshuidejiekoujizijiyayashen。
“xiaoqingmeimeiwobukouke，wojiushikunxiangshuijue，haiyounishuodeshizhendeni，zheiliruanmianmiandetangzheshuigengshufu。”
linxiaofanxiaohanhanshuozhejiuzigedetangzailelinxiaoqingdechuangshang，haibaozhetaneirouruandebeizi。
linxiaoqingkandaolinxiaofantangxiazijishuidechuangshang，tayuefahaixiudeyaozhehongchun，jiezhefangxiashouzhongdeyiwanshui，zhongyuxiadinglejuexin。
zijibunengjiuzheimetuisuole，bijingzijixinzhongyeyizhidouaimuzhelinxiaofan，tameishenmehaopade！
“xiaofangege，tianqizheimere，burutuoleyifuzaishuiba，baozhebeiziganma？”
danglinxiaoqingshuochuzheijuhuadeshihou，lianyijinghongdexianghongpingguosidele。
“haoya，haoya，shuijuejue。”
linxiaofanshahuhudexiaozheshuodao，meiyoutuoxiayifujiuzigezhaolegeshufudezishitangshuizhe，wanquanbudongzijishenchudeshiduoshaonanrenmengmeiyiqiudejingdi。
“xiaofangege，woxianbangnituoxiayifuba，zheiyanggengliangkuaixieni。”
shuozhe，linxiaoqingmiandaixiuse，jinzhangdeyaozhehongchunlaidaolechuangqian。
“砰！砰！砰！”
jiuzaizheigeshihou，yilianchuanjicuyoulideqiaomenshengxiangqi。
“kaimen，kaimen，wodexiaoqingxifukuailaikaimena！”
yigecukuangdaizhezuiyideshengyinyingheqiaomenshengxiangqi。
“zaole，liuzhuangzenmezheishihoulaile！”
linxiaoqingtingchushiliuzhuangdeshengyinhou，dunshihuangleshen，zheiyaoshibeitafaxianlinxiaofanzaizheilitafeidebalinxiaofandasibuke！
“xiaofangegenixiantangzaichuangshanghaohaoshuijue，jide，shuoshenmeyeqianwanbunengchuzheigefangjian，buranxiaoqingyihoudoubulinile！”
linxiaoqinghuangzhangdeduitadingzhulejijuhou，jiuganjinguanshanglefangjianmen，laidaowuneidatingmenqian。
“liuzhuangnihailaiganma，qiuqiunibielaidaraowole，nifangguowohaoma？”
linxiaoqinggezhedamendaizhexiexuaiqiudeyuqishuodao。
“xiaoqing，nixianrangwojinlai，youshenmehuawomenkeyizuoxiahaohaoshuo，nixianbamenjikaile！”
liuzhuangzaiwaimianzuixunxundeshuodao，jieguolinxiaoqinghaishimeijitakaimen。
“xiaoqing，zheimegennishuoba，nixianrangwojinlaizuozuo，wohenishangliangyixiazenmebaniqianwomenjiadeqianjimianle，wobuyaoneijiwankuaile，keyiba？”
liuzhuangdaizhezuiyirenzhendedahandao。
linxiaoqingtingdaoliuzhuangshuokeyimianquqiantajiadejiwankuai，jiuyishirenbuzhuxindongshaoshaodakaileyisimenfeng...
meixiangdaoliuzhuangkandaomensuoyijingdakailezhihou，zhijiejiuzhangzheneijiejinliangbaijindetizhongchonglejinlai，shenzhihaiyibuxiaoxinbalinxiaoqingzhuangdaozailedishang。
“heihei，xiaoqingxifunimeishiba？laigegelaniqilai。”
liuzhuangshenshangsanfazhenongnongdejiuqi，yilianxiaodekanzhedaozaidishangdelinxiaoqing，neifeinidedashouzhizhideshenxianglinxiaoqing。
“buyao，nibieguolai！nibushishuokaimenjiumianquwomenqiannimenjiadejiwankuaima？”
linxiaoqingjimangdezhanleqilai，yiliantuihouhaojibu，shensebuandekanzheliuzhuang。
“neishidangranle，xiaoxifu，zhiyaonijintiangenlewo，womenjiushiyijiarenle，ziranjiubuhuitaoyaoneijiwankuaile”
“xiaoxifujiuconglewoba，womenzaiyiqibujiushenmeshiqingdoujiejuelema。”
kanzhelinxiaoqingchuanzhebaiselianyiqunneixiaoqiaomirendeyangzi，liuzhuangyilianweisuo，shuozhejiuxiangtapuleguoqu。
jiuzailiuzhuangxinzhongreqingsihuodeshike，yidaojiqibuhexiedeshengyinconglinxiaoqingfangjianlichuanchulai，“shuijuejue，shuijuejue。”
“shenmeshengyin！madenijuranjilaozitounanren？”
liuzhuangtingdaoshengyinhou，shunjianfanyingleguolai，zhijiejiumanlianxionghendelaidaolefangjianmenqian，yibianchuaimenyibiandahankaimen！
“made，shibushilinxiaofanneishazi！wotingchulaile，gankuaijiwokaimen！”
liuzhuangdahan，linxiaoqingxiangguolaizulan，ketaneixiaoqiaodeshenqubeiliuzhuangqingyidejiutuidaozaiyibianle。
“嘭！”
damenbeimengdiyijiaochuaikai，guolaikaimendelinxiaofanzhijiedaotuihaojimi，zuizhongyi**daozaidishang，danhaibuwangjishahuhudeshuo：“xixi，shuijuejue，niyeyaoyiqima？yiqishuijuejue。”
“guozhenhaishinigeshazi，juranganshuilaozidenvren。”
liuzhuangborandanu，tazaojiushilinxiaoqingchengzijidenvrenle。
rujinkandaoyigeshazijuranyaohetanvrenshuijue，zhijieshuangshouzhuazhelinxiaofanyibatiqilai。
kanzhelinxiaofanneishahuhudekaixinyangzihougengqile，mengzheyongquantouchaolinxiaofanlianshangchuileliangquan，ranhouzhijieyongliyijiaochuaikai！
linxiaofanbeizheiyijiaochuaikai，daofeichuquhou，hounaoshaozhijiezhuangdaolechuangjiaoshang，zhijietangdaozaidishangyunsileguoqu。
“xiaofangegenizenmele？kuaixingxing！nikuaixingxinga！”
linxiaoqingkandaohouzhijiechongdaolinxiaofanshenbian，shuangyanhanzheleishui，shishengdehuhanqilai。
“biaomianzhuangchunjie，beihoujilaozitouren！”
liuzhuangmanlianjinshifennu，zhijiezhuaqilinxiaoqing。
zheishihousuoyourendoumeifaxian，linxiaofanshenshangdaizhedeyikuaizuchuanyupeituran“kaca”yishengsuiliele，yidaolingguangcongzhongshanchujinrulelinxiaofandeshentizhizhong。
linxiaofandeshihaizhong，neidaolingguanglaidaotashihaizhizhong，huanhuachengweiyigedaoguxianfengdebaifalaozhe，laozheshunjianjiuganzhidaolelinxiaofanshenshangfashengdeyiqie。
“ai，meixiangdaowushenweiyishengchuanren，qiannianzhihoujuranluoporuci，buguozheijiranninengyiwaijihuowoliuxialaideyidaolingqi，zheiyexubianshitianyiba！”
baiyilaozhequzhiyidian，yidaolingqizhurutadeshihaizhizhong。
jinjiezhehunmizhongdelinxiaofanturanjiujuedenaozhongyongrudejuliangxinxi，haiyouguoqufashengzaitashenshangdechangjingyimumuzaitanaozhongbofang，pangdadexinxichongdetatoutongyulie，buyihuierjiutongxingle，zhishinaohaizhongrenghuidangzheyijuhua。
“wuchuanniyishengzhichuancheng，qiejiyaoyishanweiben，xuanhujishi，bukerumeileyishengzhiming！”