第3章 罪恶感

longmendajiudian,haohuabaojianlimian。

jianwojinmenhouyizhihenjushu,lintuzishuodao:“xiaoqiunifangsongdian,nijiudangshichiyidunjiachangbianfan。”

tayiweiwoshiyinweihuanjingerjushu,woshime?woshiyinweibuzhidaotahululimaishenmeyao,dangranwobunengshuochuan,woshunzhetadehuashuodao:“zheikeshiwuxingjidajiudian,tairanglinxianshengpofeile。”

“huabulejigeqian。”lintuziyifucaidaqicudekouwen,buguotayequeshiyouqian,mingxiayidongchuzufang,qibageshangpu,haiyouyijiazhiyichang。

“neiwojiubukeqile。”

“fangkaidian,hediancha,ranhoukankanchidiansha。”

“linxianshengzuozhujiuxingle。”

lintuziwenyan,zhaoshoubabaojianfuwuyuanjiaoguolaidiancaixiadan。

zhijianta**deshouzhizaipingbanshangmianyidunhua,yigongdianlebacaiyitangyipingjiu。

feiqinfeigu,jiworucifengshengdezhaodai,gengrangwojuedezheishiduantoufanle。

wozhengsisuodenghuizenmejieshi,tingjianlintuziyansudeshuodao:“xiaoqiu,nideshi,wodouyijingzhidaole。”

woxintouyijin,chadiandangchangguile。

“guanleyigeyue,limianhenbuhaoshouba?”

“啊?你说这事。”

“不然呢?”

woyiweitashuodeshiwohetalaopodeshi,hesibaobaole。

“linxianshengzenmezhidaode?”

“阿媚跟我说了。”

woyecaidaole,kanyangzishizhaoyinmeiranglintuzilawoyiba。

dangranyeyoukenengshilintuzizhudongchushou。

buguanshinayige,zuyishuomingyanxiabingbushiduantoufan。

xinlisongyikouqi,woshuodao:“ranglinxianshengjianxiaole。”

“buzhiyu,chulaihunshehuijiumeiyoubuzaoshoududade,wulunduochenggongdelaobandouyoubeirenkengpiandejingli,woyeyouguo,erqieheniyiyangyeshigenxiongdiyiqikaidian,ranhouzaodaoxiongdidebeipan,suoyiwotebienenglijienidexinqing,nigengjiehuaidebushiqian,ershixiongdiqingduiba?”

“duiduidui,linxianshengnishuodaowoxinkanshangmianqule。”

“kanjianxianzaideni,wojiuxiangshikanjianguoqudeziji,zheiyangba,nidezhaiwuwotinizuogedanbaoquyinxingjiechulai,nifenqihai。”

“zhende?”woxinzhongkuangxi。

“wonengdouniwanma?buguokebunenggaosuamei,nvrenxinyanxiao,nidongde!”

“我懂我懂。”

shichuile,shilintuzizhudong,tazheirenkanshangqutingkoumendeyangzi,meixiangdaotahainengfazheishanxin。

zhuwojuechufengsheng,tajiushiwodeguiren。

开心死我了。

danshilingyifangmianlaijiang,woxinliyezangzhemanmandezuiegan。

talawoyiba,duiwobukeweibuhao,woquexiangzhegaotalaopo,haichadiangaochenggongle,wotaiduibuqitale。

jiushanglaihou,wolianmangdaoshang:“linxiansheng,wojingnisanbei,**le,nisuiyijiuxing。”

lintuzihahayixiaoshuodao:“nixiaozishikanbuqiwoa!”

“我绝无此意。”

“xingle,wodongniyisi,wobuzhannibianyi,womenyiqigan。”

jiuzheiyang,womenhelesandabei,woananzaixinlishuo,zheishipeizuijiule。

jiexialaideshijian,womenbianchihebianjiaoliu,lintuziwanquanbunawodangwairen,jiwochuanshoulebushaoshengyijing,haiyouweirenchushidexinde。

yipingliangjinzhuangdebaijiu,bujingbujuebeiwomenheguangle。

jiezhangdeshihou,yinweilintuzilinshiyoushi,tabeichangliderenjiezoule,danshizouzhiqiantagenwoyuehaolemingtianquyinxingbanlidaikuandeshijian。

womusongchezikaiyuanle,wocaiquluhuizhuchu。

yiluhuanghuangyouyou,xinqingqueshiwubichangkuai。

“qiuzimonihejiule?”

yankanjiuyaodaozhuchu,yibashuxideshengyinbawojiaozhu。

huitoukanqu,zhengshizhaoyinmei,yishenlianyiduanqun,ehuangdeyanse,shifengaoduan,kaixionghenkuodeyangshi,jianguzhexinggan,limianchenleyijianbantoudeleisimoxiong,banzhebanludetebieyouren。

“xiaoheleyidian。”woxiaozhehuiying。

“zhishiyidianma?wokannizouludoudabaizile,hesheihede,yebuzhidaosongsongni。”

“meishei,yigepengyou,niganmaqu?”

“huijia,yiqizouba!”tachezhewodebeibangzou。

wodangchangjiuxingledaban,lianmangbokaitadeshou。

tayouxiebujie,youyouxieyouyuandekanzhewo:“jigeyisi?xianqiwo?”

wozenmehuixianqita,qiudouqiubulai。

shishishangwodiyicijiandaota,wojiuyijingduitayoulexiangfa。

youjideshizufangneitian,tachuanyishenfuguyangshidezhangqunchuxianzaiwoyanqian,aotuyouzhideshencai,jingzhideliankong,youyaduanzhuangdegudianqizhi,dangxiajiubawojingyanle。

tajiwojieshaogongyulimiandesheshijiangjieruzhuguijudeshihou,wosuirangenzaishenhoulingting,queshiyigezidoumeitingjinqu。

womannaozidoushi**,zhidouzhibuzhu。

wodangshixinxiang,zheinvrentaimeile,taiyoumeilile,yaoshinenghezheiyangdenvrenshuishangyihui,yeshicishengwuhanle。

jingguoyushideqiangwen,tahaizheimeqinnideduiwo,haishidangjiedangxiangdewoganjuetajiuchengshixianggouyinwole。

huanjuhuashuo,shuita,kenengjiushishoudaoqinlaideshiqing。

kewoxinlimianyijingmeiyouleneizhongyuwang。

或者说,我不敢。

**不出来!

talaogongduiwozhaoguyoujia,wozenmenengduitalaopoxiashou?

bu!wobunengduibuqita!

“zhaojienishuodenagenna,woshibuyongrenfu,womeizui,yidiandoumeizui,nibuxin,wozougezhixiannikan。”wozhuangshachonglengduizhaoyinmeishuodao。

“nizou,wokanzhe。”zhaoyinmeishuodao。

wodingledingshen,maikaibufawangqianzou,jieguowanquanzoubulezhixian,gaoguzijile,fanchele。

zhaoyinmeiyeshihaobukeqidequxiaowo:“wahaha,zhixianni?zhixianzaina?nandaowomenlijiedezhixianbushiyihuishi?”

taxiaodefeichangkaixin,huaeryibandexiaorongzaihunhuangdeludengchentuozhixia,xiandeneiyangdemeiliyoumiren。

wokanzheta,jingyishiruleshen。

woxinzhongshenzhizaidongyao,lintuziduiwohaoshiyihuishi,wohetalaopoyoushilingyihuishiduiba?

lintuziduiwohao,wowuyiweibao,titaweijieyixiatalaopo,yesuanshibaodataleduibudui?

naozilimianneiyangxiangzhe,danshizhaoyinmeizaicishanglaifuwodeshihou,wohaishixiayishiduolekaiqu。

“buyongfu,wonengxing。”

“nizheirenzheimejueganma?denghuishuaigedagentou。”

tahuayingangluo,wozhendeshuaile,yigeliangqiang,yitouzhuangxianglelubiandelajitong。

pengyisheng,lajitongaolexiaqu,wodenaodaiyeshizuanxinjuteng。

“shuonibuting,huogai!”zhaoyinmeisuiranzuishangmanmazhe,quehenmalideguolaifuqiwo,kanwoetoushangmianqilebao,gengshidianqijiaojianhenwenroudebangwoyouchuiyourou。

jingzhimirendelianjinzaizhichi,wodingzhekan,kandetaozui,xinyangnannai,zhendehaoxiangqinguoqu。