01
jiangyichuhuole，yinweigenwenrongyandeyiduanshipin。
neishiyanchuhouzaixiuxishili，jiangyichuyibianmantoudahandidashengtongmalechiliwenzizhentamaduoyibianrenlaorenyuandicaqin，fangzaizhuoshangdeshoujishishigengxinzhezheiciyanzouhuidexiaoxi，wuyiliwaidoubeijijiaoshuaping。
suibianpieleyiyan，jiangyichuyinyangguaiqidimofang，“wenlaoshizhenshiwozuixihuandegudianleshou！”
zhendeguaihaoxiao，zheiyangrangrangderen，jianguojigegudianleshou？
“zenmemeirengenwozheimeshuo。”jiangyichuziyanziyudidunang，gangkoushangqinhe，shenhouchuanlaiyishengxiangliangdechixiao。
“哈哈，牛逼。”
yinchenzhelianzhuanguotouqu，ganghaokanjianzhanzaishenhoudewenrongyanyiweibumingditiaomei，qingxiaozhecashishouliyikanjiujiazhibufeideqin。
“nitamashenmeyisi？”jiangyichuxiaozherengxiashouji，chengzhezhuozi，lansandichayaowangzheta，“xiaoshenme？”
wenrongyanmiansebugai，rengshixiaoyiyingyingdemoyang，qingqingsongjian，zhendingdijiangzhepihua。
“wodeyisishigerenyougerendepianhao，qianbeibubizaiyizheixie，xiangwojiuhenxinshangqianbeidejishu，ninduilejuquanshidefangshiheqinggandetourudoushiwohenyangmudedifang。”
daozheiliweizhi，shipinjiuyimanpingmudefenhongpaopaojieshu。
jiangyichuyaoyaqiechidikanlesishibian，shipinqiatouquwei，cong“xiaoshenme”dao“yangmudedifang”，wanquanmeiyou“haha，niubi”neiyiduan，bawenrongyanqianzoudeyangzijiedeganganjingjing，zhiliuxiataduizijidegongjingyuchuipeng。
jiangyichudaizheyunnudejiaxiaobeijieshuoweiqianbeiduihoubeideguanhuaiyuxinshang，wenrongyanyinyangguaiqichaofengzhijidepihuazeyouweitawenheyouliderenshetianzhuanjiawa。
gengkehendeshi，yourenzhuanmenjianlerongyibot，dayaodabaidikeshanglecp。
「cao！zheishishenmeshenxiancp！！」
「kanzheigeduishi！！kanwenlaoshidechongnixiao！！wenlaoshiqiunibuyaoxiaozheshuohuaaaaaaa！！」
「wenrouchongnihoubeixaojiaozhamaoqianbei，woxiankeweijing！」
「xiongdimenjiwobarongyiszddazaigongpingshang！！！！」
manpingjijiaokandejiangyichumeitoujinzhou，shouzhiyihuajiukanjianyigeshuxideid，heyijushuxidehua。
rongyunyanxia：jianglaoshishiwozuixihuandegudianleshou「weixiao」。
shoujizaishoulizuanchushashashengxiang，jiangyichuhenbudedangchangshourenzheigebaojianfanzi，jiuzaitashangcuanxiatiaoxianghouyiyangdeshihou，sushedemenbeituikaile。
baojianfanzijiuzhanzaimenwai。
02
“jiushizheili。”wenrongyanshifenlimaodiduishenhouderenxiaolexiao，suishouwanggongyuwuzilimianyizhi，“mafangeyindoushangdaozuilidefangjianqu。”
haimeilaidejifanying，jiangyichuyanzhengzhengkanzheyiqunchuanzhexianyangongzhuangfudegongren，kangzhecailiaohengchihengchiwanglimianzou，jingzhiraoguoziji，jiufangfotabucunzai。
muguangpieguoyilianbumandizhanzaiketingzhongyangderen，wenrongyanmiansewugu，manbuzaihudiraoguota，tizheqinhezoujinzijidefangjian，kuanglangyishengbamenguanshang。
摔门？
jiangyichunuqizhishashidiandaolinjie，gaishuaimendeshiwoba？！
当这里是你家？！
haimeilaidejishuoshenme，mianqiandemenyouyongleshifenlidaoyibalakai，wenrongyanwuziraoguotayouzoulechuqu。
“zheigedianniwangnapao？”jiangyichuyihuoliangzijiuchaxiezailianshang，liangtiaomeimaodouyaozhoudaoyiqi。
“caifang，xiexie。”wenrongyancongrongdidalegexiangzhi，shengyindilexialai，jiuxiangzaitaerbiantuqi，“shouxidedaiyu。”
“……qunimadeshouxi！”
jiangyichuyijiaotifankongdangdangdelajitong，henbudejiaoxiagundongdeshiwenrongyandenaodai。