第1章 新官上任

shenxianyehao,yaoguaiyehao,doushuyutiandijiandeshengling。

zhiyaoshishengling,zonghuiyoufancuodeshihou。

fanlecuo,jiudeshoudaochengfa。

napashiyudiwangmu、fozudaozu,gaixunjieyedexunjie,gaijianjinyedejianjin。

cinaitiandaofaze,meishenmehaoshuode。

shenweidianyuzhang,jiushizaititianxingdao,shinaigongdewuliangzhishi。

“haole,nidoushuodisanbianle,wojiuyigewenti,dangzheigedianyuzhang,youshenmehaochu?”

chenfengzuozaisushedechuangshang,qiaozheerlangtui,ziyanziyudao。

tashiyunchengdaxuedasidexuesheng,zhengzhunbeichuquzhaogongzuo,naohailituranmaochulezheigezichengtiandaodeluosuolaotou。

zheilaotou,yishanglaijiutuomohengfei,dachuiniubi,bazijishuodeshangtianrudi,wusuobuneng。

bibitaoyidadui,jiuyigeyisi。

rangzijizuotiantingdedianyuzhang,zhuabufancuodexianren,weihutiandaofaze。

jingchangkanxiaoshuodechenfeng,duinaohaizhongmaochugerenzheizhongguiyishijian,feidanbuhaipa,fanerfeichangjidong。

tazhidao,zheijiushichuanshuozhongdejinshouzhia,zijiyaoshilaiyunzhuan,feihuangtengdale。

danbiaomianshang,chenfengquebiaoxiandebutaiqingyuan,jinliangweizijizhengquzhehaochu。

“haochudangranyoua,nikeshidianyuzhanga,sheifanlecuo,zhuaqilaiguanduojiu,yongshenmexingfa,haibushinishuolesuan?”

“biru,nikantabushuang,zhijielaigewuqi,laohudenglajiaoshui,meitiansihouzhe,wansiyade。”

“kanshunyande,benlaiyaoguanjiniande,nikeyixunjieliangju,dangchangshifang。”

“zongzhi,sheiyaoshifanlecuo,mingyunjiuyounizhangkongle。”

“daoshihou,nihaibushixiangyaoshenmehaochu,jiuyoushenmehaochu。”

tiandaodaizhewubiyouhuodeyuqi,xiaomimijichenfengjiangjie,huotuotuoyigeweisuodashu。

“haishibuxing,wojiuyifanren,pabeirendasi。”chenfengyaoleyaotou,bujiantuzibusaying。

天道嘴角一抽。

shuolebantian,baishuolea。

“怕了你了。”

tiandaoshouzhichaozhechenfengetouyidian,yidaoguanghuayishanermei。

“ciniyidaotiandaozhiguang,zugouniyonglaihehurenle!”

chenfengxinzhongdaxi,zhidaogaijianhaojiushoule。

“xingba,kanniyibanianji,debadebantianyeburongyi。”

“wojiumianweiqinan,bangnibazheihuoganleba。”

tiandaoyiwuxiongkou,chadianyikouxuepenchulai。

fangyanzhutianwanjie,buzhidaoduoshaorenqiuzhibudedehaoshi,nihaimianweiqinan?

可真能装逼啊。

danbuguanzenmeshuo,chenfengdayingle,tiandaosuanshisonglekouqi。

bijing,takeshizhaolechenfengzhengzhengyiwannianlea!

xiangxiangzheiyiwannianzijizaodezui,tiandaoyanliquanshileia。

dengzheixiaozihuidaodaluotian,feirangtahaohaobuchangzijibuke。

“guanyudianyuzhangdexinxi,yijingzaininaohailile。”

“wohaiyoushi,xianzoule。”

guanghuayishan,tiandaoxiaoshizaichenfengdenaohaizhong。

zaibuzou,wanyichenfengfanhui,tiandaokudoumeidifangkuqu。

yucitongshi,chenfengdenaohaizhong,youdaliangdexinxifuxianchulai。

chenfengkanlezuzuyigexiaoshi,zhongyunongmingbaile。

yuanlaizaixianjiezhong,shenxianfancuo,huianzhaotiantiaochufa。

keyouxieshenxiansuiranfanlecuo,danqingjiebingbuyanzhong,dabudaochufantiantiao。

yushi,zheixieshenxianjiuzuanlekongzi。

panxing,meineimeyanzhong,bupan,youmeirenguantamen。

daozhizheixieshenxiandacuobufan,xiaocuobuduan,quemeiyourenhechengfa。

chenfengderenwu,jiushimibuzheiyiloudong,zhuabuzheixieshenxian。

qingzexunjie,zhongzejianjin,laiweihutiandaofazedeyuanman。

kanwanhou,chenfengbuyoufanlegebaiyan,yizhenwuyu。

tiandaolaotouluolibasuo,shuoderenyunliwuli,xuanhudebuxing。

naolebantian,jiushigejuliuma。

haitiantingni,douburufanjian。

fanjianjiedefalv,zaojiubazheigewentijijiejuele。

tongshi,chenfenghaifaxian,zijinaohaizhong,duoleyizuojianyu。

yudaofancuodeshenxianhou,jianyuhuizidongsuoding。

beisuodingdeshenxian,huifaliquanshi,xuruodelianfanrendouburu。

erzuoweibukuaidechenfeng,zaijianyulongzhaoxia,zeshiwudidecunzai,keyiqingeryijujiangfanrenzhuabu。

nongqinglezheixie,chenfengdexinzangturanjuliedetiaodongleqilai。

ruozhenshiruci,neizijizaitianting,qibushikeyihengzhezoule?

jiusuanyuhuangdadi、sunwukongzheixieniubishenxian,zhiyaofanlecuo,zijiyenengqingsongbataganpaxiaa。

buyoude,chenfengzuobuzhule,jidongdezaisushezoulaizouqu,henbudelikequtiyanyixia。

叮!

chenfengzhengxiangzhe,naohaizhongturanchuxianleyitiaoxinxi。

“guanjiangkouchuxianzhuabumubiao,shifouqianwangzhuabu?”

“guanjiangkou!?”chenfengyanqianyiliang。

woqu,neibushierlangshendedipanma?

gemendiyigerenwu,buhuishizhuaerlangshenba?

“qukankan!”chenfengyinianyidong,huazuoyidaoliuguang,xiaoshibujian。

灌江口!

yunwuliaorao,xianlepiaopiao,yifurenjianxianjing。

zhengshierlangshenyangjianlvlingmeishanliushengheyiqianerbaicaotoushen,huadierzhidedifang。

cike,guanjiangkoudetudi,zhengliezhezui,chaozheduimianyigeyingjunshuaiqi、tianshenbanweiwudenanzi,kukuaiqiuzhe。

“erlangzhenjun,woqiuqiuni,baneixiebeitianmajiantadehuacaoxiufuyixiaba。”

“nidawanliedairenzoule,kebaihuaxianzihuizenanwoa。”

erlangshenyitiaomeimao,baqidao。

“zheidengxiaoshi,youshenmehaozeguaide?”

“nijiushuo,shiwoyangjianpohuaide。”

“kantabaihuaxianzi,ganbuganlaizhaowo!”

tudiyiting,chadiankule。

zheibufeihuama,baihuaxianziyaoshiganreni,zaozouniduoshaohuile,haizhiyuweinanwoma?

haixiangzaishuoshenme,quetingmeishanliushenghecaotoujundengren,zaiyuanchuhuhanqilai。

“dage,mocengshenme,zoule!”

“jinrishouhuobucuo,susuhuiqu,hejiuqule!”

“haha,hao!”erlangshendayingyisheng,daxiaozhechaozheduiwuzouqu。

“ai,erlangzhenjun,nibiezoua,ai……”

tudizaihoubianjiaojidedahan,keerlangshentouyebuhui,nahuilihuitayigexiaoxiaodetudi。

“ai!”tudizhangtanyisheng,yiliandejusang。

zaiguanjiangkouzheizhongliantiantingdouguanbulededifangdangtudi,zhenshitaibeicuile。

“ng?”turanjian,tudiyileng,gandaotiankonganlexialai。

taiqitou,quejianyizuoqiheidejianzhu,chuxianzaikongzhong,yinsenlengli,shifangzheqiangdadeweiya。

erlangshencike,yeganjuedaoyichang,tinglexialai,taitouwangqu,dunshiliangyanyihan。

tarenchulexukongzhongdeheisejianzhu,zhengshiguanyashenxiandejianyu!

唰!

yidaorenying,yourulishan,congneiqiheijianyuzhongluoxia,zhanzaileerlangshendemianqian。

“nijiushierlangzhenjun,yangjian?”

lairenbeifushuangshou,mouguangshandong,rushangcangfukanwanwu,weiyandao。

yangjianlenghengyisheng,shouzhongsanjianliangrendaoyibai,daizheshajidao。

“天庭狱官?”

“sheijinidedanzi,laiwodelingdizhuaren?”

“buxiangsi,jiususuliqu!”

lairenziranshichenfeng,jianerlangshenshaqitengteng,feidanbuju,faneryizhengyanci,yanlidao。

“erlangzhenjunyangjian,dairendalie,zongmasinve,pohuaihuahuacaocao,shishumeiyougongdexin。”

“benguan,pannijianjinsanri,nikefuqi?”

chenfengdehuayichukou,zaichangsuoyouren,quandoulengle。

suihou,turanbaofachuruleibandexiaosheng。

“hahaha,womeitingcuoba,zheigeyuguanshilaizhuadagede?”

“nima,xiaosiwole,tashizhuanmenlaigaoxiaodema?”

“wei,nilaizheierzhuaren,bupahezhenijiayuhuangdadima?”

“youyisi,taiyouyisile,tiantingjingranyourenganzhuadage,taishenqile!”

tudizaiyipang,yemengbile。

zuibajingkongdezhangdelaoda,kanzhechenfengdemuguang,jianzhijinghaibuyi。

woqu,zheiyuguan,shoushenme**le?

竟然敢来抓二郎神?

erlangshenzaiguanjiangkouhuadierzhi,tingdiaobutingxuan,lianyudidounaihebulederen。

niyayigexiaoyuguan,paolaizhuazheiweidashen?

这不是花样作死吗?

erlangshenzijiyemengle,guolehaobantiancaifanyingguolai,buyouqijierxiao。

meixiangdaoa,tiantingbudanganlaiguanjiangkouzhuaren,zhuadehaishiziji!

“kanlai,woyangjianjiubuchushi,tiantingyijingbuzhijingweile。”

“jiruci,neijiushajijinghou,rangtiantingzhidao,woerlangzhenjun,bukeqingru!”

唰!

guanghuayishan,erlangshenshouzhongdesanjianliangrendao,mengdichaozhechenfengcilai。

kejiuzaizheishi,turanyidaokongbudeqixi,jiangerlangshensuoding。

erlangshendajing,zhigandaoyixiazibiandejiduxuruo,falijingranbeifengyin,daodounabuzhule。

haimeidengfanyingguolai,xiaofuturanyiteng,beichenfengyijiaochuaifanzaidi。

suihou,chenfenglengmodehuayu,dandanxiangqi。

“baolikangfa,nihenxiaozhanga?”