第1章 殡仪馆求职

wojiaoyangkui,daxuezhuanyexuedefuzhuangyuhuazhuangsheji,tingzhegaodashang,shijishangjiushijirenhuazhuangdayifu。

biyehou,wotongguodaoshideguanxijinlezhimingyingshichengmouguzhuangxijuzu,kexigangpaidaoyiban,zhipianrenbadaoyanxifudeduzijigaodale,shuangfangdazhanyichang,daozhijuzutinggong,xiangmuliuchan,woyeliandaizheshiyele。

wobuxiangzaimafandaoshi,xianhoumianshilehenduojuzu,dantamenxianqiwomeiyouchengpianjingyan,fenfenbawojuzhimenwai。

suizheshiyeqideyanzhang,qianbaoyekuaikongle,benxiangdadianhuarangjiarenzhiyuanyidian,kewuloupianfenglianyinyutian,meidengwokaikou,dianhuayiduandelaodieshuoqicheshuaiduanletui,rangbenbufuyudejiatingxueshangjiashuang,bingyaoqiuwoxiageyuedaliangqiankuaihuijiayingji。

woguaduandianhua,yishijiankuxiaobude,yanzhexiaoluxiangchuzuwudefangxiangzou,xinlixiangdequanshizhaogongzuozhuanqiandeshi,yigebuliushencaidaoyituoreqitengtengdegoushi。

“made,zhenshizoubeiyun,zheimechoudegoushipianpianrangwojicaile,danyuannengdailaigoushiyun……”woyibiandiaokan,yibianbaxiezishangdegoushiwangcaopingshangceng。

“qiuzhijiuye,jiazhengbaomu,geleigaoxingongzuoyingyoujinyou,zouguoluguobuyaocuoguoa……”

yiyangduncuodeyaohesheng,xiyinlewodezhuyili。

taitouyikan,juliwoshijimidedifang,jingranyouyijiazhongjieqiuzhizhongxin,menwaizhanzhesanwugeweinianqingnannv,duizheguanggaopaizhizhidiandian。

wobaozhekanyikandexintai,maikaibuzizouleguoqu,zhijianmenkoudedaguanggaobanshangxiemanlegezhongzhiwei,youdeshigongchangpugong,youdeshibaomuqingjie,congcongsaolejiyan,yemeiyoukandaoshihezijidegongzuo。

zhengdangwozhunbeizhuanshenlikaishi,zhongjielaobanyoulinchulaiyigeguanggaoban,shangmianxiezhejixingdazi:shibinyiguanzhaopinhuazhuangshi,fulidaiyuyiliu,qianduoshishaobujiaban,yicijiuye,shouyizhongshen。

guanggaobangangluodi,nianqingnannvmenyihongersan,woyouyujiaodihaizhanzhegoushi,zoudemanlebanpai,yibabeizhongjielaobanlazhu。

“xiaohuozi,shibushizhaogongzuoya?zheifengongzuojiutinghaode,qianduoshishao,yuexinzhishaozheigeshu!”zhongjielaobanshenchusangenshouzhizaiwoyanqianhuangdang。

“sanwanma?”wodaoshitingshuobinyiguangongzigao,danmeixiangdaohuizheimegao,suoyixuyaoquerenyixia。

zhongjielaobanjianwodonglexinsi,wubijiandingdishuo:“meicuo,sanwanhaishishuihoushouru,youshihougenggao,nianchuwosongjinquyigeren,renjiabannianmaiche,yinianmaifang。”

jinguanwoxianzaishifenqueqian,dankandaobinyiguansangezi,xinlihaishiyouxiefachu,bijingcongxiaodaodadoumeiyouquguoneidifang。

zhongjielaobankanchulewodeguji,paizhewodejianbang,quanshuodao:“nianjiqingqingpagesha,binyiguanyouneimeduorenshangban,budouhaohaodema?yaowoshuoxiangzhuandaqianjiudedanzida,duibudui?”

budebushuo,woduizhongjielaobandehuayouxiezantong,dangjifanwenyiju:“zheidanweiyibanrenyebuhaojinba?bijingshuyushiyebianzhi。”

zhongjielaobanpaizhexiongfu,baozhengdao:“kebushima,buguonifangxin,zhiyaoniyuanyi,yiqiebaozaiwoshenshang。nianqingrentingwoyijuquan,shijianzuikepadeshiqiong,caibushineixiexuwupiaomiaodedongxi,nixipin,shibushizheigedaoli。”

zhongjielaobanzuihouyijuhuazheshizhalewodexin,shia,woxianzaizuiquedejiushiqian,zuibuquedeshidan,renqiongdandama,fanzhengwoshiyirenchibaoquanjiabuedeguanggun。

wocongbeibaolichouchuyifenjianlidijizhongjielaoban,laobancongcongsaoshiyiyan,xingfendao:“huo,xuedefuzhuangyuhuazhuangshejizhuanye,ganghaoyuzheigezhiweiduikou,nizhunbeiyixia,guohuierwodainiqumianshi。”

“a,zheimekuai!”wojingdezhangdazuiba,yishijianyouxiefanyingbuguolai。

叮叮叮……

shoujijinlailejitiaoduanxin,diankaiyikan,yuanlaishixinyongkacuikuanxinxi,woyangtiangantan:“ai,tianyia,wogenniqumianshi,meishenmelebuqide,budadanbugaochan,huochuqule。”

zhongjielaobanjianwoxiadingjuexin,bujinpaishoujiaohao,zhuanshenhuidaodianlijiandanshoushiyifan,qishangpodianlvzaizhewozhibenbinyiguan。

daolebinyiguanmenkou,qiaqiaoyudaoyibangkukutitidesongsangrenchulai,gaodewoxinlizhidagu,zhenxiangniutoujiuzou,kezhuannianyixiangzigeyijingqiongdejiebukaiguole,danziyoudalejifen。

zhongjielaobanqingcheshuludibawolingjinlerenshibangongshi,genrenshidajiehanxuanjiju,zhijiezhebawodejianlidileguoqu。

renshidajieqingmiaoyiyanjianli,zhuantouzixidaliangwojimiao,suihouhandao:“bucuo,tingjingshendexiaohuo,jiushibuzhidaobazizenmeyang?”

woyoudianmengle,biyedaoxianzai,dadaxiaoxiaomianshilehenduodanwei,diyicibeirenwenshengchenbazishiduoshao,zheibeihouyoushenmeshuofama?

xiaoshihoutingcunlilaorenshuobazigouyingderen,cainengcongshisangzangxingye,fouzekenengxiaomingbubao。

womeiyouhuihua,zhuantoujiuzou,jieguobeizhongjielazhu,zhizhebuyuanchudetingchechang,dishengshuo:“kandaomei?neixiedoushiyuangongdeche,ninengzhaochuyiliangshiwankuaiyixiadema?”

woyishiyusai,wangzhemandidezhonggaodangqiche,dunshipiqiruanlexialai,zhuanshenchongrenshibaolezijideshengchenbazi。

renshizaizhishanghuasuanjixia,jingtandao:“tianyia,xiaohuozinijiushizhuanweibinyiguanershengde,baziyouzhengyouying,zheifengongzuofeinimoshu。”

tingdaozheihua,woyilianmuran,quandangtazaishuoketaohua,zheiniantouzhenburongyi,binyiguanzhaorenyeyaohuabinglema?

zhongjiejiangwodafadaomenwai,shuorangwosuibianguangguang,wochadianmeirenzhumaniang,zheitemeshibinyiguan,bushishangchang,wonengshangnaguangqu。

jifenzhonghou,zhongjiexiaoxixidituimenerchu,kandaowodiyiyanjiushuowobeiluyongle。

woyileng,fanwendao:“**,hainengzheimewana,wodoumeigentatanxinchoufuli,nijiubangwodingle?nizheibushibangwozhaogongzuo,shimairena。”

zhongjiezuibayipie,jieshidao:“bieshengqi,youxieshibuyongtan,gangkaishishangbangongzidoushigudingde,yiyuesanqian,gexiangbaoxiananshijiaona,fengnianguojiebierenyoudelipin,niyedouyou,haiyoua,zheilibaochizhu。”

“baochizhu?”wohuangusizhou,zhijuedehoubeifaliang,“wocaibuhuizhuzaizheili,zaishuolemeilaizhiqian,nigaosuwozhishaoyuexinsanwan,gangcaiqueshuoyuexinsanqian,niyetainengchuile。”

worenwukeren,maikaibuzichongdamenkouzou,zhongjiejicongcongzhuizaihoumian。

dangwojijiangzouchudamenshi,turankandaoyiweishenchuanheiyidenvrenwangyiweigongzuorenyuankudoulisaileyigedahongbao,gugunangnang,mucezhishaoyoudajiqiankuai。

wotingxialejiaobu,zhongjiezuijiaodaixiao,lazhewochulemen,dingzhudao:“kandaoleba,gangcainahongbaodezhishiyimingputongyuangong,ernimianshidezhiweishihuazhuangshi,daoshihoukendingbitanadeduo,laibulaishangban,nizijijueding,fanzhengguolezheigecun,meiyouxiagedian。”

“wanedepiaozi,wolaijiushile。”wojinwoquantou,fenfendihuiyiju。

zhongjiediandiantou,buchongdao:“zheijiuduilema,mingzaojiudianlaizheilibaodao,jidedaishangbiyezhengshuheshenfenzheng。haiyouyidian,ruzhidiyitianyidingyaochuantiaohongsedekucha,zuihaoshixinde,biewenweishenmele,jiuantamenshuodeban。”

woyouxiekuxiaobude,gangcaiwenshengchenbazi,xianzaiyouyaoqiuruzhichuanhongsekucha,jiujingyaoganma?nanbuchengmingtianhaiyaojianchakuchayanse?

wokuashangzhongjiedediandongche,paizhetajiantoushuo:“haoba,wojizhule,danyuannengzhuandaoqian,yihoufalecai,yerangnizhanzhanguang。”

zhongjiegangayixiao,lianlianyaotou:“biejiexiongdi,nizijifacaijiuxingle,zheigeguangwojiubuzhanle。”

diertian,woruyuelaidaobinyiguanbaodao,kenengyouyushiqingchen,guangkuodetingyuanneijihumeikandaorenying,weiyouneigenmaozhebaiyandedayantonggewaixianyan。

dengleshijifenzhong,renshidajiecailaibangongshi,banwanshouxuhou,dajielingzhewoquhuazhuangshijianshifu,shuoshiyihoujiuyoutalaidaiwo。

womenyilushangyudaohaojiweizhiyuan,bushiduizhewozhizhidiandian,haoxiangzaidongwuyuankanhouyiyang,yanshenzhongxiemanjingcha,wodexintouyeyongqibuxiangdeyugan。