悲催土地爆笑穿越记
《悲催土地爆笑穿越记》 小说介绍
jingcaixiaoshuo《beicuitudibaoxiaochuanyueji》，youwangluozuojiagujiyudaobianzhuercheng，shuzhongdaibiaorenwufenbieshiwangdefahuangerhulijing，jiangshuyiduanwenxintianmidexuanhuan，gushijianjie：“laoshidian！niyexiangchangchangdianliaodeziwei？！”hugongehenhendiweixie。wangdefafangqilezhengzha，guangtouwulididalazhe，xinrusihui。dianyiyuan？shuoshuobale。ta……
《悲催土地爆笑穿越记》 悲催土地爆笑穿越记第18章 免费试读
“jiadajiliang！like！mashang——！！！”
sunyishengdejianjiaohaizaihuodongshiwengwengzuoxiang，wangdefajiubeizhaotiezhuneitieqianbandedashouhaozhugebo，xianglinxiaojiyiyangtiliuqilai，shuangjiaolidi！lingyizhijulingshenzhangtongshijingzhundiqianzhulegangbeituohuilai、yanshenhuansan、zuijiaohaicanliuzheyidiankeyibaimodehulijing！
“tudiye！xiangu！”huangerfachujuewangdeaiming，xiangpushanglai，quebeilingyigehugongxiangdangcangyingyiyangbokai。
“laoshidian！niyexiangchangchangdianliaodeziwei？！”hugongehenhendiweixie。
wangdefafangqilezhengzha，guangtouwulididalazhe，xinrusihui。dianyiyuan？shuoshuobale。taxianzaizhidanxinzijizheikeludannaodai，nengbunengkangzhu“jiadajiliang”dedianliuxili。hulijinggengshirutongbeichouzoulegutou，renyouzhaotiezhutuozhezou，zuiliwuyishididunang：“shengfashui…jinkou…wodemao…zizizi…”
liangrenbeicubaodituojinyitiaogengjiayinsen、mimanzhenongliechouyanghexiaodushuihunheqiweidezoulang。zoulangjintou，yishanhouzhongde、yinzhexianhongshandianbiaozhidejinshumenwushenghuakai，luchulimiancanbaidengguangxiabinglengdejingxiang——mectshi。
fangjianzhongyang，yitaishanshuozhebinglengjinshuguangze、bumanxuanniuhedianjidepangdajiqirutongzhefudeguaishou。pangbianshiliangzhangpuzhebaidanzidezhiliaochuang，chuangtoudeyueshudairutongdengdailiewudedushe。
“yifutuole！tangshangqu！”zhaotiezhuyanjianyigai，haowuganqing。
wangdefahehulijingmamuditunqukuandadebinghaofushangyi（kuzibaoliu，suanshizuihoudezunyan），luchujingchideshangshen。wangdefahoubeidejiaoheileijihenhehulijingguangtutudetoupizaicanbaidengguangxiagewaiciyan。
binglengdedianjipianbeicubaoditiezaiwangdefadetaiyangxuehexiongkou，nianhuhudedaodiangaodaizhecibideqiwei。lingyigehushizeshuliandizaihulijingguangliuliudetoupishangtumodaodiangao，zhunbeitiedianji。
“bu…buyaotiewotou…”hulijingxuruodizhengzhaleyixia，shengyindaizhekuqiang，“wodetoupi…yijinghencuiruole…whatthefa…”
“bizui！peihezhiliao！”hushibunaifandihechi，shoushangdongzuobuting。
wangdefakanzhepangbianzhiliaochuangshanghulijingneikebeitumandaodiangao、shanshanfaliangdetutou，zaikankanzijixiongkoubingliangdedianjipian，yigujudadehuangmiuganyongshangxintou。tudiyehehuxian，yigebeitiexiong，yigebeitietou，paiduidengzhebeifanrendedianliaojiqi“jiadajiliang”…whatthefa！zheiyaoshichuanhuitianting，tawangdefakeyizhijieziguadongnanzhile！
“yisheng！dianliangzhunbeiduoshao？”caozuojiqidenan**daizhekouzhao，shengyinmenmendiwenzoujinlaidesunyisheng。
sunyishengtuiletuijinsiyanjing，jingpianhoudemuguangzaiwangdefahehulijingshenshangsaoguo，rutongshenshidaizaidegaoyang，zuihoutingliuzaiwangdefaneikezengliangdeludantoushang，zuijiaogouqiyisilengkudehudu：“zheigeguangtou！wangxiangwangu！gongjixingqiang！anzuigaonaishouyuzhishangdiao20%！neigetutounvde！qingxuzhangaibantixiangfouren！tongbushangdiao15%！wubi…datongtamende‘renzhibilei’！”
zuigaonaishouyuzhishangdiao20%？！wangdefatoupi（wulihexinlishuangzhongyiyishang）shunjianzhale！zheitamashixiangbatazhijiedianchengjiaotantudigong？！
“bu！dengdeng！yisheng！woyouhuashuo！”wangdefamengdizhengzhaqilai，“worencuo！worenzhihenqingxi！tiantingshijiade！tudiyeshijiade！zhaiwuyeshijiade！doushiwodewangxiang！wohaole！wokangfule！kuaifangwochuqu！”
sunyishenglengxiaoyisheng：“he，xianzaizhidaopale？wanle！dianxingdezhiliaoqianyingjixinghuangyan！wangxiangxitonggenshendigu！shangyueshudai！zhunbeitongdian！”
zhaotiezhuhelingyigehugonglikepushanglai，yonggengcudeyueshudaijiangwangdefasisikunzaizhiliaochuangshang！hulijingyeweinengxingmian。
“kaishi！”sunyishenglengkuxialing。
caozuo**shenxiyikouqi，shouzhimengdianxiayigehongsedexuanniu！
“zi——weng——！！！”
yiguwufaxingrongde、kuangbaodaojizhidedianliushunjianguanchuanlewangdefadeshenti！
“eaaaa——！！！”
wangdefaganjuezijidelinghunbeiyizhiwuxingdedashouyingshengshengcongludanqiaolichelechulai！yanqianshunjianyipiancimudexuebai！wushuposuidehuamianzaiqiangguangzhongfengkuangshanshuo——lajichangdesoufan！dianmudeningxiao！taibaijinxingdexiedianzika！chouxiangtudimiaodebuxiugangmatong！paichusuodejiaoheizoulang！haiyou…neigaiside2338.88dianzhangdan！suoyoudebiequ、fennu、kongjuhezhaiwu，rutonghaixiaobanchongjizhetacancundeyishi！taganjuezijidenaojiangzaifeiteng！gutouzaiaiming！meiyigenmaofa（suiranmeishengjigen）douzaijianjiao！
pangbiandehulijinggengshifachuyishengqilidaobiandiaodecanjiao！dianliuzhijiezuoyongzaitaguangtutu、tumandaodiangaodetoupishang！neiganjue，bibei“kantouxi”gediaotoufahaiyaotongkuyiwanbei！taganjuezijidetianlinggaidouyaobeixiankaile！naozilizhishengxia“zizizi”dedianliushengheyipiankongbai！shenmehuxian！shenmemeimao！shenmeshengfashui！quanchenglejifen！
shijianfangfobeiwuxianlazhang。meiyimiaodouxiangyigeshijibanjianao。
buzhiguoleduojiu，neikongbudedianliuzhongyutingzhile。
wangdefarutongyitiaobeirengshangandesiyu，tanzaibinglengdezhiliaochuangshang，hunshenshitou，jiroubushoukongzhidiweiweichouchu，zuilimaozhebaimo，yanshenkongdongdiwangzhecanbaidetianhuaban。yishirutongyiguobeijiaodexilandejianghu，zhishengxiayigeniantouzaiwanqiangdipiaofu：woshishei？wozaina？woqiansheiliangqianwulaizhe？
hulijinggengcan，zhijiehunsiguoqu，guangtutudetoupishanghaicanliuzhedaodiangaodezhannihejidaoxiweidedianhuzhuohen。
“xiaoguoxianzhu！”sunyishengmanyidikanzheliangge“bingren”dezhuangtai，dui**diandiantou，“songtamenhuiguanchashixiuxi。mingtian…jixugongguzhiliao！”
……
观察室。
wangdefahehulijingrutongliangduibeichaisandepobuwawa，beirenghuiyingbangbangdeyizishang。huangerpushanglai，kanzheliangrenshihunluopo、youqishihulijingtoupishangneidianxintiandejiaohen，hedehunfeiposan。
“tudiye！xiangu！nimen…nimenmeishiba？tamen…tamenbanimenzenmele？！”
wangdefayanshenhuansan，zuichunduosuolebantian，caijichujigezi：“dian…dian…haodadedian…bidianmu…haimeng…”taxiayishidimolemozijiguangliuliudetoupi，fangfozaiquerenludanqiaohaizaibuzai。
hulijingyouyouzhuanxing，yanshendaizhi，mozhezijibingliang、daizhejiaohendetoupi，turan“wa”diyishengkulechulai，kudesixinliefei：“wodemaogen…wodemaonang…quanwanle…wuwuwu…shengfashui…yemeiyongle…whatthefa…wobuhuole…”
kuleile，tayouxianrulenannanziyudezhuangtai：“tianting…dingdan…haoping…chaping…zizizi…”
huangerkandexindousuile，tongshiyehedesesefadou。xiayige…buhuilundaotaleba？
怕什么来什么。
xiawu，sanrenbeidaidaoyigeguazhe“renzhixingweijiaozhenggongfang”paizidefangjian。limianduimanlewuyanliusedexiangpini、labi、caizhi，haiyoujigejimuzhuo，fenweiwanruyoueryuandaban。
zhuchideshiyiweixiaorongtianmei、shengyinnengqiachushuidenianqingnvyisheng（xiongpai：shixiyishilinxiaorou）。“geweibingyou~xiawuhao！jintianwomenjinxing‘zhongsujiankangrenzhi’dequweishougonghuodong！dajiakeyitongguoniexiangpini、huahuadengfangshi，biaodanimenneixinde‘zhenshishijie’！yaoxiangxin，meihaodexianshijiuzaiwomenshouzhonge~”
bingyoumenlike“reqing”canyu。yigelaotouyongheinibanielegejudadezhizhu，shengchengshijiankongtadewaixingfeichuan。yigedamayonghonglabizaizhishangfengkuangtumo，shuoshitaliutangde“huangshixuemai”。
轮到王德发三人了。
linyishengxiaomimididijiwangdefayituozongsexiangpini：“zheiweibingyou，bielaoxiangzheshenmetiantinglatudila，lai，niegenilixiangzhongde…ng…wenxinxiaojia？”
wangdefakanzheshoulidexiangpini，youxiangxiangzijineibeileipi、beidianliao、beizhuizhaidecaodanrensheng，beifenjiaojia。tazhuaqixiangpini，yongjinquanshenliqi（daizhedianliaohoudexuruo），fengkuangdirounie、shuaida！zuizhong，yigewaiwainiuniu、mianqiangnengkanchushimatongxingzhuang、shangmianhaichazhegenyaqian（daibiaobileizhen）dechouxiangzuopindanshengle！
“e…zheishi…？”linyishengkanzheneigesanfazheyuanqide“matong”，xiaorongyoudianjiang。
“jia！”wangdefacongyafenglijichugezi，“daibileizhende！”
林医生：“……”
tayouzhuanxianghulijing，diguoquyihecaiselabihezhi：“zheiweijiejie，laihuagenixinzhongzuimeidezijiba？yaozixine！”
hulijingmurandijieguolabi，kanzhebaizhi，youmolemozijiguangtutu、daizhejiaohendetoupi，beicongzhonglai。tazhuaqiyizhiheiselabi，zaizhishanghenhenhualeyigedayuanquan！ranhouzaiyuanquanzhongjian，yonghongselabifengkuangdidiandiandiandiandian！zhidaobayuanquanzhongxintuchengyigeciyande、fangfozaiqixuedehongdian！
“zhei…zheishishenme？”linyishengkanzheneike“qixueludan”，houbeiyoudianfaliang。
“wo！”hulijingzhizhehongdian，shengyinshaya，“wodetou！beidianjiaole！”
林医生：“……”
zuihoushihuanger。linyishengjiletayixiecaisezhipianhejiaoshui：“zheiweibingyou，laizuoge…ng…xiangzhengnimeihaorenjiguanxidexiaoshougong？”
huangerkanzhewuyanliusedezhipian，xiaoyanjingdiliuliuyizhuan，shunjianyoulezhuyi！takeshitudimiaogongguanbujingli！zhijiantashouzhifanfei，xunsuyonghongzhijianlegewaiwainiuniudexiaoren（daibiaowangdefa），yonghuangzhijianlegegengxiaodeziji（daibiaohuanger），ranhouyongbaizhijianlegedaicaomaolunkuodanmeitoufadenvren（daibiaohulijing）…zuihou，tayongjinzhixiaoxinyiyidijianleyigexiaoxiaode、shanshanfaguangde…erweima？！
huangerba“wangdefa”、“huanger”、“hulijing”sangezhipianxiaorenyongjiaoshuizhanzaiyiqi，ranhoubaneigejinzhierweimazhengzhongqishiditiezai“wangdefa”zhipianxiaorendexiongkou！
“gaoding！”huangerxianbaosidebazuopindijilinyisheng。
“zhei…zheishishenme？”linyishengkanzheneichouxiangderenwuguanxitu，youqishineigeerweima。
“zheishiwomentudimiao…e…womenhexieyouaidedajiating！”huangeryilianchanmei（suiranliansecangbai），“zheigejinma！shiwomenwanglaobandeshoukuanma！xiangzhengzhejinmituanjiezaiyiwanglaobanweihexindezhaiwuguanxizhouwei！saomaguanzhu！yewuhezuo！gongdedianzhifu！jiubazheyouhui！”
linyishengkanzheneigejinzhierweima，zaikankanhuangerneizhangxieman“zhencheng”dejianlian，youkankanpangbianniezhe“bileimatong”dewangdefahehuazhe“qixueludan”dehulijing…
tamomofangxiashougong，naqiduijiangji，shengyintianmeizhongdaizheyisizhandou：“sun…sunlaoshi…renzhijiaozhenggongfangqingqiuzhiyuan…zheibian…zheibiansangebingrendewangxiangxitong…haoxiang…lianwangle…”
……
晚餐时间，食堂。
qifenguiyi。bingyoumenpaizhedui，jixiedilingquzheguadandefancai。
wangdefaduanzhecanpan，kanzhelimianneijipianshuizhubaicaihebangemantou，zaixiangxiangtiantingdeqiongjiangyuye（suiranmeichiguo），beifendihaowushiyu。
“chiyaole！chiyaole！”hushituizhexiaocheguolai，aigefafangwuyanliusedeyaopian。
lundaowangdefa，hushidijitaliangpianbaisexiaoyaowan（kangjingshenbingyao）heyipianhuangseyaopian（anmianyao）。“anshichiyao！youzhuyuwendingqingxu！xiaochuwangxiang！”
wangdefakanzheneijipianyao，youkankanhushiburongzhiyideyanshen，xinyiheng。chijiuchi！fanzhengdouzheiyangle！tazhuaqiyaopian，jiuzheguadandecaitangyikoutunxia。
huangerhehulijingyemamuditunxialezijideyao。
yaoxiao…henkuaikaishifazuo。
wangdefaganjueyiguqiangliedekunyirutongchaoshuibanxilai，naozigengjiahunchen。taqiangchengzhe，xiangbazuihouyikoumantousaijinzuili。turan，taganjueduziyizhenfanjiangdaohai！yiguwufayizhide、hunhezhecaitangheyaoweideqianglieqiliu，congdantianzhichonghoumen！
“噗——！！！”
yishengyouzhang、xiangliang、daizheguiyihuiyindepi，rutongpingdijinglei，zaijijingdeshitanglihongranzhaxiang！
zheipi，butongfanxiang！shengyinhongliang！yuyunyouzhang！haidaizheyigu…nanyiyanyude、hunhezhexiaodushuiheliuhuangdefuzaqixi！
整个食堂瞬间死寂！
suoyoubingyou，baokuodafandeayi、fayaodehushi，dongzuoquanbujiangzhu！muguangqishuashuadijujiaozaiwangdefa…heta**xiadesuliaodengshang！
wangdefabaochizhesaimantoudezishi，lianshunjianzhangchenglezhuganse！taganjuezijideludantoudouzaimaoreqi！whatthefa！neianmianyao…haitamachanlebadou？！
“e…tudiye…”pangbiandehuangermudengkoudai，xiayishidiwuzhulebizi。
hulijingzebeizheituruqilaide“duqidan”xundeyigejiling，hunchendenaozidouqingxinglejifen，niezhebizixianqidiwanghouduo。
“噗…噗噗噗…”
fangfodakailemouzhongkaiguan！wangdefaganjuehoumenchedishikongle！yilianchuangengjiamiji、gengjiaxiangliang、rutongchongfenghaobandepiyin，bushoukongzhidibaofachulai！
“pupupu——puchi——pululu——！！！”
shitanglifangfozouxiangleyiqubeizhuang（qieweidaonongyu）depizhijiaoxiangle！bingyoumenjingkongdiwuzhebizihoutui！jigefanyingkuaideyijingkaishiganou！
“kongzhi！kongzhinidekuoyueji！”yigehushiniezhebizijianjiao。
“pu——！”wangdefaxiangshuohua，jieguoyoushiyishenggengxiangliangdehuiying！taxianzailianfanggepidoukongzhibulele！doushineigaisideyaopian！
changmianchedishikong！pishenglianmianbujue！echoumiman！bingyoumenjingkongtaocuan！hushimenhuarongshise！shitangliluanchengyiguozhou！
“zhendingji！kuai！jineigeguangtoudazhendingji！”sunyishengwenxunganlai，yebeixundeyigelieju，qijibaihuaidizhizhewangdefadahou。
zhaotiezhunazhezhentong，rutonggansiduiban，pingzhuhuxichongxiangbeipishengbaoweidewangdefa！
wangdefakanzheneishanzhehanguangdezhentou，zaikankanzhouweihunluanderenqunhemimande“duqi”，beifen、xiuchi、juewangjiaozhizaiyiqi！tamengdijuqishuangshou（suiranzishiguaiyi，yinweihaizaipupupu），yongjinzuihoudeliqi，duizhehunluandeshitangtianhuaban，fachulechuanyueyilaizuiquru、zuixiangliangdenahan：
“dianmuniangniang——！！！”
“nipiwaile——！！！”
“youbenshi——！！！”
“chaolaozizheipi——！！！”
“zaipizhundian——！！！”
“whatthefa——pupupu——！！！”
zuihoudenahan，yanmeizaigengjiakuangbaodepishenghezhaotiezhudezhentouxia。
wangdefayanqianyihei，zaizhendingjideweilixia，zhongyu…zanshibaituolezheicaodande“xianshi”。
tazuihoudeniantoushi：jingshenbingyuandehuoshi…hetaibaijinxingdexinyongkayiyang…kengdie…