社死：我的狗替我表白了老板秋风落在糖罐里-著

小说简介

xiaoshuo《shesi：wodegoutiwobiaobailelaoban》shiyibenfeichangcuileideduanpianyanqingzuopin，luzhanyuansumianliangweizhujiaozhijiandeaiqinggushinvexinnvefei，zuozhe“qiufengluozaitangguanli”chuangzuodeneirongpianfuhenduan，shiheyikouqiduwan，xiangqingwei：「neigechenghu……keyiliudao……sixiazaijiao。」wo：「？？？」shenmechenghu？qinbaba？e，tayidingshijuede「baba」zheigecitaiqinnile，bufuhetaba……

精彩章节

lingchenyidian，wodeshoujikaishizuofa。【sumian，baq4zhanlvebushuzhongzuoyibian，mingtianzaoshangbadianqianfawo。

】【lingwai，lianxifawubu，bahewangshijituandehetongfengxianpinggubaogaotiqian，jinwanjiuyao。

】【louxiakafeijilideshuihuanchengaerbeisishande，wobuxiangzaihedaozilaishuideweidao。】【haiyou，

bangwochayixia，simaqiandejinggaoshiduoshao？zuojinpptli，yaotixianlishizongshengan。】【renni？】【？

】wokanzhe「huoyanwang」deweixin，chadianbashoujibaile。chasimaqiandejinggao？

wozenmebubangnichayixiaqinshihuangdexuexing？huimieba，zheigebanwoshiyitianyeshangbuxiaqule。wo，sumian，

yigepingpingwuqideshechu，zhiyeshijizibenjiadanggou。wodelaoban，luzhanyuan，rencheng「renxingkpi」

、「xingzoudediqiya」。nianjiqingqingzhizhangruodayigejituan，nenglizhuojue，kexizhanglezhangzui。

yizhangnengbahuorenqidaoxingengdeduzui。zhangxiangdaoshitiannurenyuan，jianmeixingmu，bakuaifuji（wocaide），

xingzoudeheermeng。kexi，naozilizhuangdebushirennao，shiyazhayuangongdeyongdongji。

woshitashouxiadi77renxingzhengzhuli。qianmiande76wei，youbeitamadaoyiyuzhuanxingqusimiaoqiaomuyude，

youshituyongmeisegonglvetafanbeitagaoxingsaoraode，haiyoubeitabidaozaigongsilouxialuobendahan「woshifeiwu」de。

erwo，nengjiantingdihuodaoxianzai，quankaoyigezi：qiong。yiji，tajideshizaitaiduole。shoujihaizaiwengwengzuoxiang。

wobingchengzhe「zhiyaowozhuangsi，gongzuojiuzhuibushangwo」deaqjingshen，bashoujirengdaoshafashang。

mingtianjiushuowozuowanmeiqizhongdu，gangcongicuqiangjiuhuilai。wanmei。wohengzhexiaoqu，zoujinyushi，

zhunbeipaogezaojiejiefa。yushishuishenghualala。wogangpaojinyugang，jiutingjianketingliwodejinmao「jiangjin」

xingfendijiaoleliangsheng。「jiangjin」shiwoyangdedajinmao，pingshizuixihuanbalawoshoujiwan。womeizaiyi。

zhidaowopaowanzaochulai，faxian「jiangjin」zhengyongtashiluludebizifengkuanggongzhewodeshoujipingmu。pingmushang，

shiwoheguimitangguoguodeliaotiankuang。yijineigebei「jiangjin」yonggouzhuazianlewushucide，

wozhidingdezidingyibiaoqingbao——yizhijiroumengquan，baichujianmeizishi，peizheyixingdazi：【guixia，jiaobaba。

】wodangshijiuliangyanyihei。zhandouzheshoudiankaiweixin。【huoyanwang】：【？】【wo】：【guixia，

jiaobaba.jpg】【huoyanwang】：【sumian，nishibushihejiule？】【wo】：【guixia，

jiaobaba.jpg】【huoyanwang】：【nizhibuzhidaonizaigensheishuohua？】【wo】：【guixia，

jiaobaba.jpg】【huoyanwang】：【……nixiangrangwo……guixia？】【wo】：【guixia，

jiaobaba.jpg】【huoyanwang】：【jiaoshenme？】【wo】：【guixia，

jiaobaba.jpg】【huoyanwang】：【he，danzibuxiao。】【wo】：【guixia，

jiaobaba.jpg】【huoyanwang】：【……suoyi，niyizhiduiwo……youzheizhongxiangfa？

】【wo】：【guixia，jiaobaba.jpg】【huoyanwang】：【xing。】【huoyanwang】：【woguolai。

】wo：「……」wokanzhezuihouneitiaoxiaoxi，youkanlekanzhengduiwoyaoweibade「jiangjin」。「jiangjinajiangjin，

nizheihui……shizhenjiwozhenglebidade……」yibijuede……cituipeichangjin。

jiuzaiwosikaoshilianyekangzhe「jiangjin」paolu，haishixianzaijiutiaoloubijiaokuaishi，menlingxiangle。

shineizhongjicu、bunaifan，henbudebamenchailedeanfa。「sumian，kaimen。」luzhanyuandeshengyin！tamade，

tazhenshaguolaile！bujiushimeihuiweixin，waijiabeigoudiaoxile。zhiyuma！zhiyuma！woshenxiyikouqi，

guashangzhiyejiaxiao，zhunbeiqukaimenrencuo。dabulejiushuowobeixiajiangtoule。woduoduosuosuodidakaimen。「luzong，

neige……」huameishuowan，yigujudadeliliangbawozhuailechuqu，ranhou「peng」yisheng，

wobeisisianzaimenbanshang。xiayimiao，yigedaizheboheheyancaoweidewen，putiangaididiyalexialai。

wozhenggerendoushale。zheizheizhei……zheishishenmeqingkuang？xinxingzhichangbaling？yongqinzuilaichengfayuangong？

gongsiguidingdiyitiao：yanjinbangongshilianqing，youqiyanjinsaoraolaoban！tiandiliangxin，zheikeshitaxiandongdezuia！

wobeitaqindeqihunbasu，naoziliyipiankongbai。luzhanyuanzheigoudongxi，zuibaneimedu，

qinqilai……zenmehaitingruan？pei！sumianniqingxingyidian！tayueqinyuexiong，xiangshiyaobawoshengtunhuobo。**，

tayidingshiwuhuileshenme。tayidingyiweineibiaoqingbaoshiwofade，yiweiwoduitatumoubugui！wanle，

mingtianwojiuyaoyinwei「qiangwenlaobanweisuifanbeilaobanqiangwen」zheizhongliqidezuimingbeikaichule！buxing，

wobunengshiquzheifengaoxingongzuo！「wu……luzong……bie……」wopinmingzhengzha，

zaitaqinwendejianxilijichujigezi。「wocuole……wozuo……woxianzaijiuzuo！」tadedongzuomengdidunzhu。

heimouzaihunandezoulangdengxialiangdeheren，shengyinshayadebuxianghua：「xianzaijiu……zuo？」wodiantourudaosuan，

yanshenwubichengken：「duiduidui！xianzaijiuzuo！q4zhanlvebushu！simaqianjinggao！woxianzaijiucha！」

tahoujieshangxiagundongleyixia，huxidouzhonglejifen。「……nihaizhenshi……pobujidai。」

wokuaikule：「shininbijiaoji……」taqingxiaoyisheng，songkailewodechun，danshouhailanzaiwodeyaoshang。「xing，

neijiubuqinle。」worumengdashe。zaiqinxiaquwozuidouyaozhongle。taditoukanzhewo，

yanshenlidaizheyisiwanwei：「nei……quna？」wolengzhu：「a？」「nibuxihuanzaimenkou？」

wofengkuangyaotou：「buxihuanbuxihuan！」「neiqu……」tadunledun，「woshi？」wodajing：「woshi？！」

zaiwoshilizuoppt？tazheipihao……shibushitaibiantailedian？danzhuannianyixiang，kehujiushishangdi，

老板就是上帝他爹。

ke……wodewoshilihaiduizhemeixideneiyiwazi……woruoruoditiyi：「neige……luzong，

haishiqushufangba……」neiliyoudiannao，youdayinji，shiwodezhandoujidi。tatiaoletiaomei，

yanshengengguaile：「shufang？」「……dui。」「nixihuan……zaishufang？」wo：「……」

zheiyoushenmexihuanbuxihuande？bujiushigegongzuodidianma？wopatabutongyi，youbeiweidibuchong：「ketingyexing！

shafayetingshufude……」zhiyaobiezaiqinwo，zainaganbaogaodouxing！tadingzhewokanlejimiao，

turandididixiaole。「sumian，ni……wandehaitinghua。」wo：「？？？」bushi，

zheigoudongxidaodizaishuoshenmea！2yushi，wodingzheyizhanghongdenengdixuedelian，heliangpian**ladezuichun，

zuozaileshufangdediannaoqian。luzhanyuanjiuneimehuanzhebei，kaozaishuzhuopang，qiangdadeqichangbawoyadetaibuqitou。

「luzong，ninshaodeng，woshousuhenkuaide，q4bushu……womashang……」wohunshensanfazhe「woaijiaban，

jiabanshiwokuaile」debeizhuangguangmang。taqueturankaikou：「ni……jiuzheimexiangzuofangan？」

woyileng：「buranni？」nanbuchengwohaixiangjinizuodunmanhanquanxi？「woyiwei……」tadunledun，

sihuzaizuzhiyuyan，「nijiaowoguolai，bushiweilezheige。」

woxiaoxinyiyiditixingta：「keshininzaiweixinli，cuidehenji……」tazhanglezhangzui，

biaoqingyoudianyiyannanjin：「woshihenji，dan……」「wodong！」wolikebiaozhongxin，

shengpatajuedewotaidubuduanzheng，「ninfangxin，jintianbubafanganzuowan，wojuebushuijue！gongzuojiushiwodeshengming！

」wopawodegaoxingongzuojiucifeizou，bixubiaoxianchushierwanfendereqing。tachenmole。

neizhangshuaiderenshengongfendelianshang，shanguoyisi……tuoxie？「xingba，」tatanlekouqi，「neinizuo。」

wo：「……」zenmeganjuetahaiyoudianshiwang？wodakaidiannao，pilipaladiqiaozhejianpan，

naoziliqueshiyituanjianghu。zuichunshangdechuganhaizaitixingwogangcaifashengleshenme。made，luzhanyuanzuineimedu，

qinrenjishudaoshiyiliu……peipeipei！sumian！xingxing！tashizibenjia！qifenanjingdeguiyi。

woyigezidoubiebuchulai，simaqiandaodiduogao？woxianzaizhixiangzhidaoluzhanyuandelianpiyouduohou。

jiuzaiwokuaibazijibiesideshihou，taturankaikoule。「rangkai。」「a？」「wolai。」

tayibalakaiwodeyizi，「zhaonizheigesudu，mingtianzaoshangtaiyangchulailedouzuobuwan。」wo：「！！！」

taiyangdaxibianchulaile？huoyanwangjuranzhudongbang**huo？woshouchongruojingdirangdaoyibian。

luzhanyuanzuozaiwodediannaoqian，neizhangfensedekaidimaoshubiaodianhetajingyingdeqizhixingchengleqiangliedefancha。

dantahaobuzaiyi。xiuzhangdeshouzhizaijianpanshangfanfei，kuaidechuxianlecanying。「zheigeshujumoxingshicuode，

zhongxinjiangou。」「fengxianpinggutaibiaomian，bjihuameiyoukexingxing。」「simaqian，hanwudishiqiren，

genjuhandaimuzangchutuderengutuisuan，dangshinanxingpingjunshengaoyueyimiliuba。qugezheng，yimiqi。」

wo：「……」wodanggoudanglesanniancaidangshangea，tadanggou……bu，tadanglaoban，

juranlianzheizhonglengzhishidouzhidao。budaoyigexiaoshi，yifenkanchengwanmeideq4zhanlvebushuxinxianchulu。

wokanzheneifenppt，yanleiwangwang。「luzong，ninjiushishen！shiguang！shiweiyideshenhua！」

wohaobulinsedikaiqilecaihongpimoshi。tabadiannaotuihaijiwo，taimoukanwo，

yanshenshensuidexianggeheidong：「suoyi，xianzaikeyitantan……nixinlizhenzhengdexiangfalema？」「a？zhendema？

」woxintiaojiasu，「wopaninbudaying……」tadiantou，yuqisihugewaiwenrou：「shuoba，

wojinwan……henhaoshuohua。」woshouchongruojing！「luzong，ninzhenshiquanshijiezuihaodelaoban！」woshenxiyikouqi，

guzulezheibeizizuidadeyongqi：「woxiang……zhanggongzi！」kongqishunjianninggule。

talengzhule：「ni……xiangzhanggongzi？」feihua！nagedagongrenbuxiang？「keyima……」woxiaoshengwen。

tadingzhewokanlezuzushimiao，turanxiaole。「xing。」「yuexintidaoliuwan，keyima？」liu……liuwan？！

woyigeyuecaisanwan！zhijiefanbei？！luzhanyuanjintianshinaozibeimenjiale？haishigangcaiqinwodeshihou，

bawonaozilideqiongsuanqixizoule？「keyikeyi！taikeyile！」wojidongdekuaiyaojitakeyige。

「laobanwoaisinile！nijiushiwozaishengfumu！bu！nijiushiwoqinbaba！」「……」

tasihubeiwozuihousangeziyeleyixia，biaoqingbiandehenguguai。「ke。」taergenhaoxiangyoudianhong，

「neigechenghu……keyiliudao……sixiazaijiao。」wo：「？？？」shenmechenghu？qinbaba？e，

tayidingshijuede「baba」zheigecitaiqinnile，bufuhetabazongdeshenfen！「dongledongle！luzongyingming！」

「nei……」takanlekanbiao，yijing**dianle，「buzaole，qushuiba。」worumengdashe，diantourudaosuan，

jiaodimoyoujiuxiangliuhuiwoshi。jieguogangzouliangbu，faxiantagenzaiwohoumian。wo：「？？？」bushi，dage，

jigeyisi？nanbuchenghaiyaojianshiwoshuijue？「luzong，henwanle，wozhendekunle，youshashi……mingtianzaishuo？」

tajiaobuyidun，sihuyouxieyiwai：「mingtianzaizuo？」wofengkuangdiantou。「yexing。」tachenmoleyishun，

dianlediantou，「jintianqueshiyoudiancangcu，woyemeizhunbei。」「shishishi，mingtianwoyidingbazhunbeigongzuozuohao！」

woganjinbaozheng。（zhibakafeijilideshuihuanchengaerbeisishande。）tayanshengengshenle，

haidaizhedianxixue：「nilaizhunbei？」「a？」「yehao。」tadiantou，「mainixihuande。wobutiao。」

woyouxiemeng。woxihuande？e……yedui，kafeidoudepaiziqueshidetiaowoxihuande，fanzhengzuihoudoushiwohe！

laobanguoranxinsizhenmi！yushi，zaiwoyilian「laobanninzhenshitaititiele」dechongbaibiaoqingzhong，

luzhanyuanxinqingpohaodilikaile。wokundezhanchuangjiushui，wanquanmeiduoxiangtahualideshenyi。3diertianzaoshang，

woshibeiyinxingduanxinzhenxingde。

【ninweihaoxxxxdezhanghuyu10yue19riruzhang：666,666.00yuan。

】wodingzheneichuan「6」，zuzulenglewufenzhong。liushiliuwanliuqianliubailiushiliu？

zhanggongziyebushizheimegezhangfaa！zheibushiyuexin，zheishinianzhongjiangx2leba！jinjiezhe，

luzhanyuandeweixinjinlaile。【huoyanwang】：【dingjin。】【huoyanwang】：【zuowannishuode『daoju』，

worangzhuliqumaile。】【huoyanwang】：【tawenwoyaoshenmeguigede，wobutaidong。nibalianjiefawo，

huozhenizijimai，nafapiaolaibaoxiao。】【huoyanwang】：【duile，wochicunyongldekenengyoudianmianqiang。

】wo：「……」daoju？guige？lde……mianqiang？shenmedaoju……shianchicunfende？？？wozhandouzheshou，

diankaizuowandeliaotianjilu，wangshangfan。fandaoneiyipian【guixia，jiaobaba.jpg】shi。

wozhongyuxiangqileshenme。wochongjinshufang，dakaidiannao，zhandouzhedakailetaobaoliulanjilu。……guoran。

jiuzaizuotianxiawu，woweiletucaolaoban，heguimitangguoguoliaotian。tajiwofalegelianjie，shuo：「kankanzheige，

『xunfubazongzhuanyongxiaopibian』，baozhengrangtaguixiajiaobaba。」wodangshishouhuadiankaile，haishunshoujialegouwuche，

zhunbeijietufajitachaoxiao。suoyi……zuowan「jiangjin」bujinfalebiaoqingbao。

haizaiwopaozaodeshihou……yongtaneijiazhilianchengdegouzhuazi……baneige「xiaopibian」delianjie，

fenxiangjileluzhanyuan？！erluzhanyuan。yiweineibiaoqingbao，neilianjie，doushiwofade。yiweiwobanyejiaotaguolai，

shixiangwan……jiaosebanyan？ranhoutaqinlewo。wo（yiweiyaojiaban）shuo：「woxianzaijiuzuo！」

ta（yiweiyaoshangchuang）shuo：「nizhenpobujidai。」wo（shuozuoppt）：「qushufangba！」

ta（yiweiwanchangjing）：「niwandehaitinghua。」wo（yaozhanggongzi）：「woxiangdangninqinbaba！」

ta（yiweishinicheng）：「sixiazaijiao。」tahaijilewoliushiliuwan「dingjin」。hairangwoqumai「daoju」。

haitamagaosuwotalma「mianqiang」？！woliangyanyihei，dangchangjueleguoqu。「jiangjin」haizaiwotuibian「wangwang」

jiao，fangfozaiyaogong。「babaaini！」woyibazhuazhutadegoutou：「jiangjin！nizheigeyuegouliangmeile！」

4woshiwanhuojidijitangguoguodadianhua，shengyindouzaidou：「guoguo！jiuming！

wohaoxiang……bawolaobanji……shuile！budui，shitayiweitabawoshuile！yebudui！」「daodizenmehuishi！

kuaishuo！」wohualewufenzhong，yuwuluncidifushulezuowandeshesiquanguocheng。tangguoguoneibianchenmoleshimiaozhong。

ranhoubaofachujingtiandongdidekuangxiao：「hahahahahahasumian！nikeyia！『guixia，jiaobaba』！

haijirenfaxiaopibianlianjie！nizheishixiangdanglaobannianghaishixiangdanglaobantamaa！」wo：「……」「liushiliuwan！

fupo！ee！fanfan！」tawubizhenjing：「lmamianqiang？！sumiannizhuandafalea！

zheideshishenmeguigede『ziben』a？nizheifuqi……」wo：「nijiwobizui！sidaopu！」

「……zheishizhongdianma？zhongdianshiwoxianzaizenmeban？tahaoxiangyiweiwozuowanshigentabiaobai，

bingqieyaojintian……『jixuzuo』！」tangguoguoquexingfendebuxing：「luzhanyuanneizhanglian，neishencai，neigonggouyao！

niyebukuia！baishuihainaqian！do！dadotedo！」wowulegedayu：「dogepi！

wokebuxiangbaitianbeitapua，wanshangbeitaooxx，xingzhengzhulidangwanhaiyaodangshenghuozhuli，

24xiaoshi007，xiangxiangdoumingku。」tangguoguoquanwo：「niyaohuangesiluxiang。baitiantaqinitoushangmani。

wanshangniqita……ke，zhihuita。」「baitiantashinilaoban，wanshangnirangtajiaonibaba。zheibofanxiangpua，

shuangbushuang？」wo：「……」「xiangxiang……haoxianghaitingdaigan？」rangluzhanyuanneizhidusheguai，

guizaidishangjiwochuitui：「shuo，babadeq4bushumanyima？」danhuasuiruci，

woduiluzhanyuanzhiyouanshadechongdong，congmeiyouanliandeniantou。

yixiangdaoyaogentazhendaozhenqiang……neijianzhibijiabanhaikongbu。buxing，bixuganjinjieshiqingchu！

5wohuaizheshangfendexinqinglaidaogongsi。gangjindamen，

jiutingjianhuiyishilichuanlailuzhanyuandepaoxiao：「nimenyingxiaobuzuodezheishishenme？『jinqiushiyue，**cuxiao』？

nishihuozaiershinianqianma？zheiwenantudedounengzhijiexiadizhongtianle！」「haiyounimen，shejibu！

zheihaibaoshishenme？houxiandaizhuyichouxiangpai？jianyizhijiedabaosongqulufugong，bielaiwuruwodeyanjing！」

「jinimendeyusuanshirangnimennaquweigoudema？zheipaideshenmexuanchuanpian？

wonainaideguangchangwudoubizheiyoujingtougan！」xiaozuibabade，genjiguanqiangyiyang。cuiledudezidanhengsaoquanchang。

tayitaiyan，piejianwocongmenkouliuguo，yanshenyining。woganjinjichuzhiyejiaxiao：「luzongninxianmang，

wo……woxianqujininhuankafeijideshui！」zheishihoujinqu，neijiushipaohuizhongdepaohui。

xingzhengzhuguanwangjielazhuwo，xiaoshengbagua：「mianmian，yingxiaobulaodabeimacanle，laodajintianhuoqitebieda，

nixiaoxindian。」「duile，xiawuniyaogenluzongqushenzhenfengongsichucha，jipiaodinglema？zuijinyusuanjin，

nidongde。」wodiantou：「haoleiwangjie。」jieshengyusuanshiba？wodongle。wolikejizijidingletoudengcang，

jiluzhanyuandinglejingjicang。zhenghaohainengzaifeijishanggekai，bimianganga。wozhenshigexiaojilinggui。6dingwanpiao。

wonazheyidiexuyaoqianzidebaoxiaodan，yingzhetoupiqiaoxiangletabangongshidemen。「jin。」wotuimenjinqu，

jinliangrangzijideshengyintingqilaihepingshiyiyangzhending：「luzong，zheishishangzhoudebaoxiao……」huameishuowan，

tahurancongbangongzhuohouzhanqishen，jibuzoudaowomianqian，yibajiangwozhuaijinhuaili。「zenmecailai？dengnihaojiule。

」taxiabacenglecengwodefading，shengyindichen，gengangcaimarenshipanruoliangren。wozhenggerendoujiangle！

tazaiganshenme！zheishibangongshi！「luzong！ninlengjing！wo……woshilaibaoxiaode！」「bao？keyi。」

tashoubeimengdishoujin，lidaodadechadianbawoleiguleduan。

wodelianjiejieshishidimaizailetaliangkuaijieshidexiongjizhijian。zheichugan……wodegelaotianye！

suiranyoudian……haoba，feichangyouliao！danwobunengqufu！wohongzhelianzhengzha：「bu……bushizheigebao……」

jiuzaizheishi，bangongshidementuranbeituikaile。yingxiaobudelaolitanjinbangenaodai：「luzong，

zheishiwomenxingaidefangan……」dangtakandaowoheluzhanyuanyiyizhongjiqibuyadezishibaozaiyiqishi，

laolideyanzhuzidoukuaidengchulaile。woshunjianhedehunfeiposan。dianguangshihuozhijian，woyibatuikailuzhanyuan，

miaobiankuqingjunvzhu，shengleijuxia：「luzongwocuole！wozhendezhidaocuole！qiuninzaijiwoyicijihui，

buyaokaichuwo！wojialihaiyouyizhijinmaoyaoyanga！」laolidebiaoqingcongzhenjingbianchenglebagua。

luzhanyuanlenglejimiao，lianheidegenguodiyiyang，danhaishipeihewoyanlexiaqu：「……xiabuweili。」

「xiexielaoban！xiexielaoban！」woliangundaipadiliulechuqu。gangguanshangmen，

jiutingdaolimianchuanlailuzhanyuandenuhou：「sheirangnijinlaide！gunchuqu！」buduoshi，

laolihuitoutuliandichulaile。shoujishang，shoudaoleluzhanyuandexiaoxi：【huoyanwang】：【yandebucuo。

】【huoyanwang】：【zheimexihuanjiaosebanyan？】wo：「……」jiuming，wozhendehuixie。7meiyihuier，

chashuijianjiuchuankaile。「tingshuolema？sumianbalaobandezuihenle！laodayaokaichuta！」「bunengba？

sumiankeshiluzongzuidelidezhulia！」「qianzhenwanque！laoliqinyankanjiande！

shuoluzongqidedoubasumiananzaiqiangshangqiatabozile！」「wodetian！sumianchulaideshihouliantonghong，

yanquanyehongle，kendingshiyouxiuyouqi，beimakule！」woduanzhekafei，naoguaziwengwengde。

tongshiacouguolai：「mianmian，nimeishiba？nizenmedezuilaodale？」