外敌入侵，一个精神病有什么用？猪乐呵-著

小说简介

duanpianyanqingxiaoshuo《waidiruqin，yigejingshenbingyoushenmeyong？》，shizuozhe“zhulehe”dujiachupinde，zhuyaorenwuyoubaidaguachenerniu。gushiqingjiejincou，yinrenrusheng，duhourangrenjiujiubunengwanghuai。xiangchenerniuzheiyileidekelianren，huiyuelaiyueduo……”“renyuanjinque，jingjikanbudaoshangfudequshi，gaizenmeban？”woshuangmubaochifadaidezhuangtai，xinzhongqueyibotao……

精彩章节

henduorenqidaiyouwaixingwenming，juedezhiyouzijidewenming，cunzaiyumangmangyuzhou，shijimode。

erzheiyiri——tiandisebian，fengyunmeichukejuan。neixuanfubankongdeyuanqiu，

yazhizhuletaiyangdeliangdu……zhangxiangguaiyideshengmingti，huanxingrenmenxindizuishendekongju。

qidaiyueda、shiwangyueda。renmenhainengzhaohui，shuyuzijideneikepingchangxinma？weijinengyapojinbu，

yenengzaochengfengkuang！kuailexingqiujingshenbingyuan，yigeqingnianshouwonaiping，shuangmujiongjiong，yangwanggaokongjudayuanqiu。

yi“zheichenerniu，zhenshizanmenkuailexingqiudeqipa！”“biedehuanzhe，douyouduanzandeqiancengyishihuifu，

jiuta——huhualianpian，kewohaiganjueyouneimehuishi。”wotouguobolimen，lianggeshenzhebaiyi，

guiguisuisuideren。“tamendaodizaishuoshenme，nandaoyouyaoduiwoshijiafengyin？

”“zhenshikee——xingqiumianlinjudaweiji，weishenmeburangwochuquhuajie？”bumingbaizheixieyuchundejiahuo，

jiwozhushe，yizhinengliangdeyaojiyoushenmezuoyong？wonandaobuqingchuzijiyouduokongbu！

weilekunzaikuailexingqiudetongbao，wozhinengyaxianuhuo。danxingqiuxuyaowo——kanlai，

bixuyaocaiquyixiefanganle。wobuluhenjidedaliangmenwai，querenmeirenjianshi。zoudaojiaoluo，congxiangzilimian，

taochuyigepingzi。wolenglengyixiao。yuchundeshengwubawoqiujin，danshi……tamenmeiyouyige，

faxianwolianluowaijiedetongxunqi。“shishihoulianluozongbule！”wokanzhepingzishang，“wahaha”sangezihoumian，

yongbishizuodebiaoji。tangzaichuangshang，yanjingliuzhefengxi，woguanchachuangwaidetianse，gumoshijian。zuotian，

woyijingxiangzongbude“kangshifu”faqulexingdongshenqing。“mashangyaozhusheyaoji……bixubawojihui！

”wozaibeizilimianzuozhezhunbei，jinri——yaorangzheixiekexiaoderenzhidao，zijizouchuzheigelaolong，

bifanhousanbuhaiyaojiandan。xinzhongzhuangzheshijie，ququyizuokuailexingqiu，nengshufuzhuwo？jiuzaizheishi，

dianzimendakai！“chenerniuyemeifashao，zenmezheimetinghua？”“daniuniu，kuaishuo，

shangmiandaodijinizhipaileshenmerenwu？”xinzhongxiangzhe，zongyouyitian——zijikendingyaobaochou，yongzhentong，

baerrende**，zhachenghexizaodetoutouyiyang。hurantingdaofawen！wozhenggerendengdayanjing，quanshenjiroubengjin。

tamenshiruhezhidaode？chijingguohou，wozuijiaogouqi……jiusuanzhidaoyouruhe，nengzudangwolikaidejiaobuma？

xiayike！errenshoushiwupindekongdang，wozhaozhunjihui，zongshenyiyue。“makabaka、yigubigu，

haiyouyiliangdingdingche！”dashengnianwanzhouyu。wokanerrenzhenhandeshense，danranyixiao。

cikedezijiyijingdunrukongjian——wonengcongtamenyanzhongkandao，**luo，haiyouyitiaoxiaotuishuaidongzheziji。

dantamenkanbudao，youdezhishizhenhan！“tamentaixiaokanwole……zheimedayicenglou，zhipailianggefeiwukanguanwo，

nengxingma？”kanzheyanqianbuduanshandongdeshuzi，wosuohuishou。shangmiandelianggejiantou，wofeichangqingchu。

wulunanxianayige，doushiyinxianjiaozhadexianjing——ruguoduifanglailedapizhiyuan，woqiaowushengxilikaidejihua，

jiuhuishibai。zoujinloutijian，wojiandaotoudingyice，yigeshanzhehongdiandedongxi。womeijiaoyitiao，

xunsupazaidishang。“duifangdeshouduanhaizhenbushao。shizidatuzidouyaoyongjinquanli，wobunengdayi。

”xinzhongzengqiangjingti。wogujitoudingdewanyier，yidansuodingmubiao，jiuhuifashehongwaishexian。zaikanxianglouti，

xiamian，kenengmaifuzhe**。buguozheiduiwolaishuo，zirangoubuchengweixie。duokaihongdian，wopashangfushou，

xinzhongmonian。“makabaka、yigubigu，haiyouyiliangdingdingche！”shentishunshihuaxia，

zhishimeiguolianggewan——womeitouyizhou。“zheixierenzhenshibeibi，fushoushangtulajiaoyou！”er“tachuanyifu，

hewo**yifuhaoxiangya。”“haiermenkuaikan，haozhangdetuimao！”“tade**lizangzhebaobeima？shoubuting。

”sanceng。wonanyizhixindekanzhe，yiqunrenweishoude，liangmingshenzhebaiyidenanzi。woyijingdunrulekongjian，

tamenzenhuineibandingzhewo？nandaoshi**zhongdu，youshoudaowaijienengliangcichangganrao？xiangdaozhei，

woshouzhixiangtamenbeihou，yaoheyisheng。“boboji，

yiyuanyichuandeboboji……shouzhangtoufa、shouzhumao、shou**mao！”xinzhongzeshikuaisuniandongkoujue。

xiayishun——wokanzheyuzijiyiyang，beikunzaizheilideshouhaizhe，yuchundekanxiangwoshouzhidefangxiang。

xintougandaokebeidetongshi，wosonglekouqi。weishoudeerren，daizheqiyudebaidagualikai，wojuedinggaibiancelve。

woquerenloutifushoushangyoudu，dingshibunengzaizouyuanluxian。“santiaotuidejiahuolaile，womenyaozuntaweiwang！

”“wokanzhebuduiya，neishiweibama……zenmezhangzaiqianmian？”“nimenzheibanghouzihousun，

zenmebutingtianxianbaobaodehua？neibushitui，yebushiweiba，mingmingshiwodedinghaishenzhen！

”tamennengganyingdaowo——yedui，nengbeiguanzaizheilideren，kendingbuyiban。kewoweilesuoyourendeanquan，

zhanluchudeshili，yebuguoyiwanfenzhiyi。kanzhexiangshiwutoucangyingdebaidagua，woneixindeyi，

zhengzhunbeizhaodiertiaotuolizhifa。huran，yigenvrendeshengyinzhouranxiangqi！“sancengdaole。”wojiaobudunzhu，

yiyansaoguoquanchang，kuaisuzuochufanying。“zheimeduobaidaguazhiyuan，nandaozheiyicengyechuleshenmedashi？

”woshuangshoubaoxiong，zhanzaiyinshuijipang，xinzhongpansuan。“yiqunrenkanzhewozuoshenme？baifeiliqi！”zheishi，

yigemantoubaifaderen，zoudaowopangbianjieshui。“nainai，bangbaobaojieshuihaoma？”tachaoshenhounaishengnaiqi，

luchumanzuidehuoya。yigezhangfapijianderenzouleguolai，mozhemantoubaifa。“baobaozhentinghua！reshuihenweixian，

mamalai。”wokanzheliangrenxiangchajidademianrong，quedingkendingbingdebuqing。zhangfapijianderenjieguoshuibei，

zoudaowodeshenqian——tadunxiashenzi，yibazhuazhu……“zenmebuchushui？”woxintouyichen，gubudebushi，

taiyanyikan。yizhenxiaoshengxiangqi，baidaguademuguangdouzaiwoshenshang！“doushibeikunzaizheigelaolong，

weishenmeyaohaiwo？”wosatuichongxiangchuanghu。“kuailanzhuta！”tingzheshenhoudedahan，wojiaobujiakuai，

yudaodangluzhe，yiyiyingdui。zhishizhayanjian——wokanzhunchuangwaideshuiguan，zongshenyiyue。

san“xiaohuobanmenkuaiguolai，yourenyong**duizhewodetou。”“budui，nikancuole……nei**honghongde，

kendingshihouzi。”“e——tapaneimegao，huibuhuilashixialai？”yiqiedongjingshouruwoer，

xinzhongduineigezhangfapijian，youduolejifenbuman。“niannianchiji——meixiangdaojinri，quebeijizhuoleji。

”xianzaidunrukongjian，mingxianbuxianshi。taitou，jiandaojizhangjiqiedelian，wolenglengyixiao。shijiezaizhaohuan，

xiangyaozhuawohuiqu，shibukenengde！henkuai，woxiahuayiceng。jiuzaizheishi，

yicechuangkouhurandakai——yigebeizishenlechulai。“mama，zheitaiyinshuijihuipaolu。woyidingyaohedaoshui！

”“baobaobieku，mamayidingjiedaoshui。”wocetouyikan，pitousanfayizhishouyijingshenleguolai……tongshi，

**xiamianchuandebuxiangdeshengyin！“yuanzhang，woshuoguo，guanchasheidexingweidongtaidouxing——weiduchenerniu。

”“dengtaxialai，zhendingyaojijialiang！”fubeishoudi，wozaiyiciyazhushifangliliangdekongbuxiangfa。

beiqiujinyucidetianyalunluoren，xianghebaidaguayiqi，mouhaiziji。kewobushicankuwuqingderen，

bierenmeiyouhaiwo。baqidefazhandeshouwenzhu，sheiliaodao——liangzhishouzhuazhulewodegebo。wozhuanyanyikan，

lianggeshuxibuguodebaidagua，miandaixiaorong。tamenyipang，zhanzheyiweibaihuzilaotou，shouchizhusheqi。

wojianguozheigelaotou，shibaidaguadeshangji——huixiangzhayanjianfashengdebianhua，woborandanu。

“nimenzheidengbeibixiaoren，rucicuiruodenengliangcichangxia，ganduiwoyongkongjiannuoyizhifa。

”woshuangtuiyongliyidengqiangmian，zhengtuoshufu，“jiranruci，jiubieguaiwole……makabaka、yigubigu，

haiyouyiliangdingdingche！”tianjihonglongyisheng！meiyihui，wuyunyading，baoyuluoxia。

wozaisangebaidaguazhenjingdemuguangzhong，dandanyixiao，shuaiqubijianyushui。“wodemaye，

nandaotazhenyoushenmenenglibucheng？”“yuanzhang，ninlaowenzhedian……tianqiyubaoshuolezheigeshijiandian，

youhongseyujing。”tingdaozheihua，woshuangyanyideng。baidaguadeyisi，

zheiyubushiyinwoerlai——ershineigaisidetianqiyubao。buxiangxinzijiyuzhoudiyiqiangzhedeshili，

jianzhijiushiwuru！dingzheduifangsanren，fangsongxialaideshense——wozaiciniandongkoujue，shuangzhimengranzhitian。

honglongyisheng，leitingzhaxian！“wodeguaiguai，tianqiyubaomeishuoxiabingbaoa！”changzhongpilipala，

kanzhetamenbaotoushucuan，woyangtoudaxiao。“shisheitouxiwo！”zaicixinglai，wohuidaoleshuxidedifang。

kanzhetianhuabanshangdedeng，woshuangyanfazhi，guolehaoyihuier，mengdizuoqi。

“jihuashibai……wonahaiyoulianlianxikangshifu？”zuanjinshouzhongdetongxunqi，woyikaozheqiangmian，tanzuozaidi。

“daodishisheitouxiwo！”waidiruqin，mingmingnengqingsongjiejue，weishenmeyiqiedouzaizuzhiwo？waimianpilipala，

wotiejinchuanghu。“dabukai。”jinglihebaidaguadedouzhidouyong，huanguwunei，wozaiyebuxiangcongqianneibanchuncui。

yijianjianshuxidewupinhebaishe。xianzaizaiwoyanzhong——duolexuduoyiyang。“jiaohuadebaidagua，

zhenyiweiwochun——zonghuishejiyixieshangbudetaimiandeshouduan，dengzheba。”dakaidianshi。

buxiangzaibeineixiexiaorensuanji，zheici——woyaoshoujizugoudeqingbao。“shenwangdahuotui，yigenguanbaoyigeyue，

xianshiyouhui9.99zhe。”“waixingyeguobei，yikoushuangfantian，zhuanjiarenzheng，wurenhetianjiaji。

”womolebakoushui。tiankongluoxiabinggeda，zhuizhewoza。woxiangyaoshifangliliang，

keyikekeluozaiwoshenshangdebinggeda——duiwojijiangshifangchudenengliang，yicicixueruo，zhidaomeiyou。

danwoyouyouzhongganjue，feichangqianglie，shentilidenengliangzaibuduanzengduo。mimihuhuzhong，wohaoxiangtingdao。

“guojiayanzhichuzuixinshengjikaijia，duikangtianwailaidi……”sikanzhedianshilibofangdehuamian，wopingzhuhuxi，

daliangsizhou。jingranbushiwodeshenwangdahuotui——kendingyourenzaiwoxiuxingdeshihou，dongleshoujiao。

“youshineixiekeedebaidagua！”yishoujinjinzuanzhubeizi，zhenggeshentidoureleqilai。huran，

yiyangdeganjue**danao，woxintoudaxi！chongjin，paichushentizazhidexiaogejian——woqingsongtuoxia，

baidaguashejideyizhinengliangfu。yi**zuozai，baidaguamenchifandedahaodianfanguo，dahouyisheng。

“worenweizijiyijingwudi……meixiangdaohaiyoutishengdekongjian！”pengdeyishengguohou，woquanshentongtou。

“yibangchouxiaozi，jiwodengzhe。”bufangguodianshishengyindemeiyisibianhua，wolakaijuli，congcefangraoxing。

zuorineixiebeibixiaoren，ganbuguzhengzuokuailexingqiudesihuo，duiwoshiyongkongjiannuoyizhifa。baobuzhun，

neixiezisizilidejiahuo，jiuhuizuochushanghaishijiegenjideshi。taixiaokanwole——yongqiangzhemiaoshiruozhedexintai，

shitanwo？jianzhiyixiangtiankai！“zuixinyanfadehuozhikaijia，zaigedougaoshoudejiayuxia，zaicimianduitianwailaidi，

mingxianchuochuoyouyu。”“yanfarenyuantoulu，haiyousifuyuansukaijia，yejiangzaijinriwanchengshengji。

”“renleitongbaomen——tianwailaidijiwomenxunsufazhandeshijian，danzheishi**luodexiuru。

”“tamenbawomendangzuo，wuliaoshidexiaoqian……kewomenyaobiandegengjiajianqiang，

chediduohuizijixingqiudehuayuquan！”wobatoudingzaidianshijishang，

quezenmedouzuanbujinqu——shijiedoubianchenglezheiban，weishenmehaiyaoqiujinwo？ruguowonengchuqu，

xingqiudehuayuquanhainengzhangwozaibierenshouzhong？“baidaguazhenshikee，

zaidianshijishangxialeqiangdajinzhi……juwoduitamendelejie，dingshibawoheyiwanshenglingbangding。

”wozhejidenaotou，shirangtianxiarenxiangxinwo，haishiwofutianxiaren？wozuizhongxuanzeleqianzhe……zhei，

jiushiqiangzhedesuming！waimiandingdingdangdang。wodingzhebaidaguashouzhen，mengranbaoqi——yibachaoguodianziyaokong，

haobuyouyudianxia。“chenerniu，bieluanan！”“nizhuiwo，ruguonizhuidaowo，wojiubaniheiheihei！

”wodaxiaoyisheng，zhibendakaidechuanghu。lvcihaiwo——jiusuantingshenwangdahuotuikaikoujianghua，

yebutingnibaidaguadehua。cike，wozhiyouyigexiangfa……neixiecongtianerjiangdedabingkuai，chandewozhiyankoushui。

yikeketouliangdedabingkuai，chaotiankan，rutongzuanshisanfaguangmang，zhegaiyuanyoudehuian。“chenerniu，

zheimejiuyewangoule，kuaijinlai。”“nimomonaodaishangdebao，haixiangduozhanglianggema？

”yaowangmijidedabingkuai……wuyanxia，yanshenxiangwaidelutianyangtai。gangjiechudimiandabingkuaidedabingkuai，

fangfoshichoufengyiyang，sichuluancuan。wobanzhelian，duizheliangmingbaidagua。naqiyigedabingkuaisairuzuizhong，

wotiaoruwunei。dengliangmingbaidaguazouxiangmenkou，wosikaozaisan，haishijiangchuxinzhongbuman。“zheiciwofangguonimen，

ruguohaiyouxiaci——neixiedabingkuaizi，jiushinimendexiachang。”tamentouyebuganhuidemoyang，wofeichangbishi。

shentinuanyangyangde，ganshouzhetineibangbodenengliang，wojiudixiuxing。wu“woshidaniuniu，kangshifutingdaoqinghuida！

”zaicihujiao，dengleyihuier，haishimeiyoufanying。woyishounazhetongxunqi，yishoubuduannaotou。

“tongxunqizenmeshilingle？”“nandaotamenbuzhiduidianshizuoleshoujiao，

haiduiwodetongxunqi……”youlezheigecaixiang，wonahairendezhu——zheishihouruguojinlaigebaidagua，

woyidingbarencongchuangkoudiuxiaqu。yuexiangyueqi，shoushangbujinfali，kacayisheng！“wolianluowaijiedetongxunqi！

”yuanbenzhishimeiyouxinhaodetongxunqi，rujinchengleyigen，xixidexiguanxingzhuang……wozaiyerenbuzhu，

pokoudama！“gaiside，gaiside——daodishishenmeshihoufaxianlewodemimi？”“yinxianjiaozha，

buganduiwodongshou……chouquwotongxunqideshenxing，kee！”worengdiaoshouzhongdefeizha，zaidimianfengkuangfangun，

rangtineijingmai，shutongfeitengdenengliang。weilezheipianshijie，weilebuyangjiwugu……zheijiushiqiangzhedesuming！

“chenerniu，jinridezhiliaoshijiandaole。”yidaotuwudeshengyinxiangqi——woxiayishidepazhu，yidongbudong，

xinzhongkuaisuxunhuankangyakoujue。“makabaka、yigubigu，haiyouyiliangdingdingche！

”baidaguaduiwodenengliangyazhiyaoji，woruwangchangyibanqingsonghuajie。

butongxunchangdeshi……ansuanzijidezheibanggouzei，meiyoulikelikai。jiazhuangshiquleyiqiexingdongnengli，

wotingzhetamenningzhongdeyuqi，zuohaoshoujizhongdaqingbaodezhunbei。“neixietianwailaidi，

shiyaobawomenwansi——women5taokaijiagangshengji，tamenyouqianglejifen。

”“zhenzhengdeconglinfaze……womenchuyuruoxiaodeyifang，zhinengchengshou。”“gaisidechusheng！

”baidaguadeshangji，baihuzilaotoukanxiangwo，“yizhizheimexiaqu，renmenxintoudeyalihuituokuayiqie。

xiangchenerniuzheiyileidekelianren，huiyuelaiyueduo……”“renyuanjinque，jingjikanbudaoshangfudequshi，

gaizenmeban？”woshuangmubaochifadaidezhuangtai，xinzhongqueyibotaoxiongyong。tiankongzhujianandan，

waimiandepilipalasheng，lingrenxinshenbuan。yikougandiaobaiserongye，wodaliangzuixindamodetongxunqi，

peitaichuxing。“yiqieguanchaanquan……shishihouciyutaxindelingxingle。”wokoujixiabikong，baheisedexiaodian，

nianzai“wahaha”sangezidehoumian。congbaidaguaneilihuoqudeqingbao，woyishidaoshijieweiyi。

ruguozaizuobuchuyixieyouxiaodecuoshi，woraobuguozijideneixin——zuoweiyuzhouzhiqiangzhe，