“姓名！”
“jingguanhao！wojiaozhangdong！”
“bushiwenni！shineixiechuanhunshadefensixingming！”
“我不到啊！”
“nibudao？nibudaojiugangentamenyiqikaiyinpa？”
“？？？jingchashushu！nizenmekeyipingkongwurenqingbai？wosuiranhu！danwozhendeshizhengjingmingxing！”
“e？zhengjingmingxing？jiunizheiyangdemingxingwojianduole，buguanshihuhaishidingliu，fanzhengmeiyigejinlaidedoushuozijishiqingbaide，
danshiwoqinshousongjinqudezhengjingmingxing，zailimiancaifengrenjicaimaoyandeneixiedoukeyizutuanzaicichudaole，suoyinijiubiejiaobianle。”
jiefangdongpaichusuodeshenxunshili，
zhangdongmianduilengzheliandejingchatongzhi，zhendeshiyukuwulei。
yinweizhangdongshigechuanyuezhe，tachuanyuedezheigemingxinggentatongmingtongxing，yejiaozhangdong，
但原身他是个糊咖，
zuijinkanzheyiweidingliumingxingzaizijideyanchanghuishang，yiqunxiannvfensichuanzhehunshaquyanchanghuikuzhehanzheyaoweineiweidingliushenghouzi，
yuanshenzhangdonghenxianmu，xiangzhezijihaodaiyeshimingxing，pingshenmerenjiajiukeyizheimeshuang？
而他张冬就不可以？
这像话吗？
yushijiuyezaizijineigefensiqunlihaozhaoleyixia，kankanyoumeiyoufensiyeyuanyiweizijichuanhunsha。
tabuwenbuzhidao，yiwenheyitiao，wanwanmeixiangdaoqunliyitingtadezheigezhuyi，
fenfenxiangying！yixiecongmeijianguofayandenvfendoutiaochulaishuoyuanyi！yuanyi！
yushiyuanshenzhangdongzixinxinbaoman，huranjuedezijiyexumeineimehu，zijihaishiyouhenduozhenaifende，bukenengquanshixiaoheizi。
jiezhejiuxinxinmanmandeshunbianrangneixieyuanyiweitachuanhunshadenvfensimen，zaizhongchoujitajubanyigepaidui，ngmeicuo，jiuhaitianshengyanneizhongde！
因为张冬是个糊咖，
dianshiju、dianying、zongyishenmedemeitadefen，
changgegengshibuyongti，laotianyemeijitaneisangzi。
taqiongdejiushengyizhangshuaiqidelianle。
rangtataoqiantayagenbanbuqilaizheizhongpaidui。
yuanshenzhangdongxiangzhejirandouchuanhunshale！gaizoudeguochengbixudouzouyizou！zuomingxing！yishiganbixuyaoyou！
danshiyebuzhidaoshitazheiweiyuanshenghukadeheifenguyizhengta，
haishichuanshuozhongshenmiyourexindechaoyangdamaxiujuelingmin，
他裤子都才脱一半，
就被举报了！
jiefangdongpaichusuodesaohuangdaduijiuzhijiebatajisaole，tajiuzheiyangbeijingche“aowu！aowu！aowu！”yiludaijinjingjuhechale。
yuanshenzaijingcheshangdagaishiyinweijingshenchongjiguoda，zhijiegale，diqiudezhangdongchuanyuele！
所以张冬能怎么办？
他也很绝望啊。
chuanyuezhangdonghenxihuan，mengmeiyiqiu，danshizheizhongdiyukaijuzhangdonghenbuxihuan。
sheinengjieshouyikaijujiuyaobeidiulaofangjinqucaifengrenjini？
jiuzaizheishi，shenxunshidemendakaile，zoujinlaiyiweishencaixiuzhang，mianrongjiaohao，
yishenjingfuqizhisashuangdejinghua，
zhijiantazoudaozhangdonggenneiweijingchamianqian，xianshipieleyiyanyongwuguyanshenyanbabakanzhetadezhangdong，
ranhouduizheneiweimianseyansuyishenzhengqidejingchashuodao，
“laoba！douchaqingchule！”
“keke……woshuoguoduoshaocile，zaipaichusuo！zhiyouduizhang！meiyounilaoba！”
“e！zhidaole！duizhangtongzhi！fangrenba，douchaqingchule，zheigerenshayemeigan，huozheshuoduizhangnimendongzuotaixunsule，tameilaidejiganba。”
队长：？？？
etoushangqingjinbaoqi，danshiyounazijizheigenaohouzhangfangudenverwukenaihe。
zhangdongzeshunjiansongleyikouqi！
悄悄抹了一把冷汗！
ranhoucaiduanqizhuozishangneibeizaojiuliangledecha，“dundundun”yiyinerjin！
paichusuodecha，guoranhaohedejin！
danshiyihouzaiyebuxianglaihele！
……
zhangdongcongpaichusuochulaizhihou，yingzhechushengdechaoyang，
suiranzhongyubuyongxiangshoulaoyuzhizai，yishenqingsong，
danshicishixinzhongyipianmangran，
zenmejiuchuanchengzheimeyigehukamingxingleni？
ganshashabuxing，douliyemeijigeqian，guangjiuyizhangduzheyibandeshuaipilian！
怎么办？
脸长得帅能刷卡吗？
jiuzaicishi，yilianlaosilaisikulinanhuanhuantingzailezhangdongshenpang，
diandongmenyidakai，yigechuanzheyishenganlianzhiyezhuang，xiuzhangfengyudetuishangguozheheisidenvren，
conghoupaicaizheyishuanggaogenxie，zoudaolezhangdongmianqian，
dingzhetadeliankanlebanshang，
yizhangjuemeideqiaolianshangdaizhenuqiweixiaodehongyun，jirendeyapoganshizu。
“姐姐！我不约！”
suiranyanqianzheiweinvziyishenyujienvwangfanhenfuhezhangdongdeshenmei，danshitagangcongjingjuhechachulai，
haishiyinweisaohuangjinqude，suoyixianzaihaichuzaiyingjifanyingzhizhong，duirenhemomingqimiaochuxiandemoshengnvxingdouhenjingti。
sheizhidaozheihuibuhuiyoushiyigetaoni？
bijingyulequanshuihenshen，zhangdongbiaoshizijibawobuzhu。
“zhangdongnishibushizaijingjuhechaheshale？yueshenmeyue？haimeinaogouma？”zheiweiyujieliumeiyishu，hongchunqingqichaozhezhangdongyilianbumanshuodao。
“jiejie？bienao！womenyagenburenshia！wohaiyoushini，zaijian。”zhangdongshuowanzhijiejiuxiangliu，
danshiliangweichuanzhexifu，daizhemojing，shencaibiaohandebaobiaozhijiejiubatajiduzaineile，
ranhouneiweiyujielenglengdao，
“womenqueshiburenshi，danshiyihoujiurenshile，woshinidexinlaoban，niyuanlaidejingjigongsiwoshigudongzhiyi，xianzaifenjiale，erniqiahaobeifendaolewoshouxia。”
“danshinizijiyouduohunizijiqingchu，changgebuxing，yanjilakua，jiuzhishengyizhanglianle，fanzhengnigenxingongsideheyueyemeijigeyuele，shengxiadeshijiannijiuhaoziweizhiba，shijiandaolezanmenjiuhaojuhaosan。”
“danshiwojinggaoni，nikebiezaigaochujinjingjuhechadeshiqinglaile，suiranzheicinimeifanfa，suanniyunqihao，buranweiyuejinnidoutaobuchulai。”
“xingongsibuyangxianren，lianggexuanze，yishiniqusansixianchengshizouxue，nengzhuanduoshaosuanduoshao，erjiushizuijinxingongsizhunbeizouyizoumingxingzuo**dezhiboluxian，nisuiranhu，danshiheifenyeshifen，nizijixuanyigeba。”
zhangdongzheicaigaomingbai，yuanlaizheigeqichangqiangdadenvrenshitaxingongsidelaoban，
tazheicaifangxiaxinlaichensiqilai，
qusansixianchengshizouxuezhuanqian？kebienaole，
tazheizhonghukaquzouxue，neibushizhuanxuehanqian？
erqiedaoshihoushizoubierendexue，haishibierenzoutadexuedoubuzhidao，
第二个选择……
就在此时，
zhangdongdenaohailituranchuxianleyidaomodeganqingdejixiesheng：
【ding！**fuyexitongkaiqi……】
zhangdongdunshijingshenyizhen，neixinkuangxi：
“sigui！nizenmexianzaicailaia！”