06
wenrongyanxinqingyuyuedizoujinwuzi，yidakaimenjiuminruidibuzhuodaoyisiyiyangcibideweidao。
黄瓜，妈的。
pingxicongketingzouguo，pieyanjiukanjianpantuizuozaishafashangbuzhikanxieshenmedejiangyichu，yipangdewanlizhengzhuangzheqiehaopiansahaotangdehuanggua。
wanqiule，xinshiyouxihuanchihuanggua。
大无语事件。
zhouzhemeipingzhehuxizhengdasuangankuaipaohuizijidefangjian，jiutingjianshenhouderenlenglengdikaikou。
“yaochini？”jiangyichukaimenjianshan，budasuangentaduofeihua。
“shenmeyaochi？”wenrongyanmiansebugai，biezheqibiyinjizhongdifanwen，huangguacibiyouguiyidefangxiangshunzhezuichundezhanghecuanrubiqiang，xianxierangtadangchangtuchulai。
“shaolai！”jiangyichulengshenghechi，shoulideshubenhenhenzadaoshafashang，“nihuansuoleba？yaochijiwoyibaa！”
sihubeizheizhonglvedaiminglingdeyuqijideyouxiebuyue，wenrongyanlengyanwangzheta，meiyouyingtadehua，jingzhizoujinzijidewoshi，ranhounachuyigehezi。
suishourengdaojiangyichumianqian，kuanglangyishenghedetaxianxiediuleshoulidewan，pieyanyisao，haojiahuo，yizhengheyaochi，shaoshuoyeyouyibailaiba。
“buhaoyisia，wobuxiaoxinsuishourengjinqule。”wenrongyansuishouboleboyefengchuideyouxiesanluandetoufa，yikaozaimenkuangshangsongsongjian，shifenwuguditanshou。
anmayisheng，kuangdijiangshoulideshuiguowanzadaozhuoshang，jiangyichuyibacheguoneigehezi，gancuizhandaomenbianyibayibadishi。
tashenzhihuaiyishibushizheigebizaiziweilegaozijitedimaileshengxiadejiushijiuba。
shiledagaiyouersanshiba，jiangyichushizaishifanle，zuilimamalielie，hudinaoziyizhuan，qingxiaoyishengbasuoyouyaochirengdaoyiqi，suibianyaoleyao，fangdaoleyipangdezhuozishang。
“zhaochulaile？”wenrongyantiaomei，qingqingtailetaixiahe，haozhengyixiadiwangzheta，“gongxi。”
恭你x的喜。
jiangyichushenxiyikouqi，xiaodeyoutianyoumingmei，“wobuyaoyaochile，genzhenibujiukeyile？”
07
zaochenbadian，jiangyichuzaiyizhenxixisusudeshengyinzhongxinglai，jingjuedipaqilai，kanjianwenrongyanzhengzouchuwoshi，yilianzhenjingdiwangzheziji。
jingyama？weiledengtazheigehundanqichuang，jiangyichushuimengzhongdoumimihuhude，shengpashuichenletingbujianwenrongyanchumendeshengyin。
tazhendebaifenzhibaiqueding，wenrongyanhuizaicizuochubatasuozaigongyudeeliexingjing。
nianzherenzoudaozizhucantingchifan，jiangyichusisidingzhemianqianzheigecongrongbupodiduanzhepanziren，tazoudaonazijigendaona，shengpayigebuxiaoxinbarengendiule。
yankanzhetaluozuo，jiangyichusanxiawuchuerrengxiashoulideshiwujia，mangbudiediyegenzhezuoleguoqu。
yizuoxia，zhouweiyizhenxixu。
wenrongyanzuodeduanzheng，xinwupangwudichulipanzhongdeshiwu，chiqidongxilaiyeshiananjingjing，yifuduanzheyouyajiazidemoyang，kandejiangyichuyizhenfanwei，henbudeqiazhetadelianjitaguanxiaqu。
“neigeshibushiwenrongyana……”
“jiushi、jiushihuashengletuanzuijinpinqingguolaideshouxie^……”
“neichangyanchunimenkanlema，zhendejuele！”
qieqiesiyudeshengyinbujueyuer，jiangyichuyouxiefanzaodijujiaokouzhongshiwu，shenzhixiangbaerduobishangyijianxiaoyin。
genzairenqigaoderenshenbian，jiushizheizhongjieguo。
“wotingshuowenrongyanqishi……”
“qianguize？……buhuibawokantaladeting……”
“eiei，tamenshuoqishishouxibenlaiyinggaishi……”
哦哟？
jiangyichushashicongshenyouzhongjingxingguolai，erbianbuduanhuixiangdeneixiexianyansuiyujidetamengdetaiqitou。
eyoyo，yuanlaiyeshiyourenbuxihuannidema……
chunjiaodougouqixiaozhangdehudu，jijuchaofengdexiaorongyubei，jiangyichuyitaitouquekanjianzuozaizijiduimianderenmianseruchang，sihaomeiyoutingjianneixierendefengyanfengyuyiyangzhending。
wozhekuaizideshouqueyijingyonglidaofanbai，jiazaikuaizishangdeshiwushenzhidiaodaopanzili。
yangqidechunjiaohenhenzhengzhu，jiangyichuzhiyishunjianbiandixiatoumaijinwanli，yongliyouwangzuilibaleliangkoudamifan。
嘲笑中止。