第三章:提上裤子不认人

wojuedeexindaolejidian,hunshenhanmaodoushuqilaile,dajiaojiuming,takanwojiaorenle,jiunashouwuwodezui,shoushanghaiyouyiguzizhufenweier,buzhidaoshibushiweilezhumeixishou。worenzhuexinyikouyaozailetashoushang,tabawowangdishangyiliaotaituijiushiyijiao:“malegebazide,ganyaolaozi,denghaerrangnijiao,bupabiegetingjiannijiujilaozijiao,jiaosaodian!laozisishiduolebupahaisao,ninengbupa?”

liuyanfeiyugurankepa,yebibushangbeizheichushengzaotakepa,wochezhesangmenerjixujiao,tapushanglaibawozuiyiwujiukaishibawokuzi,biekantagetouerbugao,bijingshinanren,liqihaishiyoude,wogenbentuibukaita。

yixiangdaozheibeizijiuzheimehuizaiyigechushengshouliwojiuqidezhiduosuo,turan,tanermazijianjiaoyishengcongwoshenshanggundaoleyibian,woshoudiantongzaojiubuzhidaodiaodaonaliqule,jinwanyemeiyueliang,wobuzhidaofashengleshenme,congdishangpaqilaijiuwangjiadefangxiangpao,yilushangbuzhidaoshuaileduoshaoci,daojiadeshihounainaijianwoyishennitoufayeluanzaozaode,jimangwenwozenmele。

wokanjiannainaijiumeirenzhukuleqilai,tagengjile:“zalemazheishi?nikushazima?”

woyaoleyaotoujiuhuilefangjian,wobunengshuo,shuolenainaikendingyaoquzhaotanermazisuanzhang,neizhong**shenmeshierdougandechulai。

wotangzaichuangshangkudezhidaoshuizhe,mimihuhuzhongtingjiannainaitanleyiwanshangdeqi,diertiantianhaimeiliangwojiutingjianwaimianchaochaorangrangde,gangyaoxiachuangchuqukangejiujing,nainaibawolanlexialai:“huiqushuijue,mocourenao!”

wotinghuademeichuqu,danshiyemeizaishui,yinyuetingjianyourenshuocunlisirenle,yebuzhidaosideshishei。

tianliangzhihouwocaiconglinjujiaxiaohaierkouzhongdezhitanermazisile,sizailezuotianqiruwodeneigetuposhang,tingshuoxiangshibeishenmedongwujiyaoside,shenshanghaiyoumimimamadeyaohen,shanghenchuroudoufanchulaile,shitixiadetubeiranhongleyipian,beifaxiandeshihouzhengbeiyiqunbuzhidaonalilaidelaoshukenyao,xiamianneiwanyierdoubeichidiaole。

wotingdeyouxiefanwei,turanxiangdaowanglebayaoxiangujiaodaijiwodeshierbanle。wopaodaogeloubaduifangzawudexiaofangjiandasaolechulai,xiaoxinyiyidenachuneizhangxiezheneitiaozhangchongmingzidehongzhitiezaileyikuaimupaishang,shanglexianghuozhihouwozhengyaozou,turanjuedebeihouliangsousoude:“meiliangxindedongxi,xiaoyejiuleni,lianjuxiexieyemeiyou。”

woxinligedengyixia,buganhuitou,weikongkanjianyitiaoshechuzaiwoshenhou,wocongxiaojiupazheixiedongxi,lianqiuyindoubuganpeng。

turanxiangdaoleshenme:“tanermazishinishade?”

“zuitaoyanbierenpengwodedongxi,rangtasidoushibianyitale。”

guoranshihaowurenxingdelengxuedongwu,sharenbuzhayan,tanermazigurankee,danzuibuzhisi,zhenpatanatianbawoyejinongsi。woyanlekoutuomo,tuijiangyingdewangmenkoumai:“xie……woxiexieninlaorenjiahaibuchengma?meishierdehuawoxianzoule……”

yishuangshouturancongshenhoulouzhulewodeyaoshenjiangwomengdiwanghouyiquan,ganjuedaoshenhoushijieshidexiongtang,woxiaoxinyiyidezhuanguotoupieleyiyan,ruyanshibanzhangyinbaideeguimianju,hedewomeichuxidejiaohuan:“woyijingdayingzuonidizile,nibieshawo!shiwotaiyeyeduibuqini,ketashidaojiaren,jianguohoubuxuchengjing,tahuohuoniyeshititianxingdao,wodieniangyijingbeinihaisile,shengxiadewolaihai,zhiyaonibieshawo,rangwozuoshenmedoucheng……”

zheizhongshihoulibuzhiqiyedezhuanga!zheishierjiusuanshiwotaiyeyebandebudidaowoyedeshuochengshititianxingdao!

tazhuazhuwoyaoshenjiangwowangtafubuyien:“titianxingdao?nizheibuyaoliandejingernaerlaide?fangxin,xiaoyebushani,zhishijiulenizheitiaoxiaoming,niyegaibiaoshibiaoshi……”

ganjuedaodizaiwoshenhoudeyingwu,wolianhonglegetou,yiqiandoushizaimengli,zheihuishizhenqiangshidan,meichiguozhuroujianguozhupao,wodunshijiuhuangdebuxing,takeshizhangchonga……erqietazongdaizhemianju,zhangdebuchoudaishamianju?yixiangdaoyaobeiyigechoubaguaizaotawojiuhenjuewang……

yaoxianguguorancaidemeicuo,wozuoletadizitayehaishibuhuifangguowo……

kuzibeitabalexialai,wodaizhezhanyinjiaodao:“nishizhangchong,woshiren,womenzenmenengzheiyangni……?”

tazaiwotunbupaileyibazhang:“zhangchongneizhongdongxinanenggenwoxiangtibinglun?nihaibiexianqi,buzhidaoduoshaonvrenxiangpaxiaoyedechuang,bianyinile。”

bianyiwo?jiantadeguiquba!

wozhiganjueyoushenmedongxizhuangjinlewotuijian,tengdewoaodeyisheng。nainaitingjianwojiaohuan,zailouxiahandao:“zaleyatou?!”

wojimangshuodao:“meishier!shuaileyijiao……”

huahaimeiluoyin,neishaqiandaodezhangchongyaoshentingdongdegengmailile,laijinglehaibawowangqiangshangen,cucaodeqiangmiancadewolianshengteng。

yiwanshiertajiuhuachengyilvbaiyanzuanjinlemupaili,wanquanbuguwohaikaozheqiangshuangtuidazhan,made,tishangkuziburenren!

wohuifangjianshoushileyixia,tingshuonvrendiyicizuoneishierdouhuiliuxue,erqiediyicizhihuijuedeteng,womeijianxue,tenghaoxiangyemeizenmeteng,suoyineigeshaqiandaodezaojiubawo……zhiqiandemengkongpadoushizhende!

zhongwuchifandeshihouwoyewenwo:“gongshangle?”

woyishijianmeifanyingguolai,wonainaijieshidao:“yaoxiangugenwoshuole,nibahaisinidieniangneidongxigongshangle,niyebiejizhechou,shizanjiaqianrenjiade,zanhaosiburulaihuozhe,yinguobaoying,zheidoushiming。”

wonainaitiqiwodieniangdeshihouyijingbuhuiyankuangfanhongle,shijianzhenshizhiyudeliangyao,nengrangrenhaoleshangbawangleteng,woyeyiyang,dangnianneiguzibeishangjingerzaojiudandebuhuirangwotongbuyushengle,woyijinglianwodieniangzhangshayangdouxiangbuqilaile。

gangchiwanwufanwaimianjiupiaoqileemaodaxue,woshenshangguozheyurongfuhaishilengdelibukaihuopen,womenzheibianshuyuxinanfang,xiaxuesuanshixiqile,daxuejiugengbieshuole,shinianqianneichangxuewojiyiyouxin,daxuefengshan,duanleduoshaorendehuolu,jinnianyouxiaqiledaxue,woxinliyouxiebutashi。

yaoxiangudingzhedaxuelailewojia,yijiuguozheneijianhongsexiuhuadedaaozi。woyexingzipianleng,buaidaliren,kejiandaoyaoxiangujurankeqidezhaohutazuo。

yaoxianguzuoxiacuozheshoukaohuo:“yatou,woyougeshierxiangqingnibangmang。”

suirandangniantasongyongwoyewonainaibaworengshanli,danxianzaibijingyesuanbanglewo,renjiayouqiuyuwo,woyebunengshuailianzi:“xiangunishuoba,rang**sha?”

tacongdoulitaolezhangzhoubabadezhitiaojiwo:“wonianjidale,xiaxuetianlubuhaozou,nibangwopaogedifang,neijiarenyudaoshierle,niquqiaoqiaoqu。”

diyi,takanzheyejiusishichutou,jutinianlingwobuzhidao,danjueduigennianjidazhanbushangbian。dier,woshadoubuhui,woqubangtakanshaa?tashuodeyudaoshierdeyisijiushirenjiayujianzangshierle,woshigongleneizhangchongbujia,danzheishierwokendingbanbule。

sihushikanchulewodeyouyu,tadishengshuodao:“nifangxin,xingqudebuhuibubangni,niqugentashuoshuoqu。”